What are your most unimpressive achievements?

GOOD DAY GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

 

It seems only Muro itself can refer to Muro as Muro.

 

I c what you did there.

 

I faced off with a teaspoon of cinnamon again last night; this time the cinnamon lost.

 

I actually started with a teaspoon as a test. Defeated it easily and thought, what the hell, I've seen people choke and throw up during the challenge on YouTube, what gives? Am I that good at swallowing? Have I chosen a wrong career path?

Then I tried a tablespoon. Yeah.

I think it might be doable if enough saliva is gathered just before applying the cinnamon. I have one more pack of cinnamon in store, might as well give it a go and test this theory. In a few days. Maybe.

 

Bought a box of condoms about a week before I broke up with my girlfriend, and currently wonder if I'll have sex again before they expire.

 

Don't they have something like a 2 year life span?

 

When you're Gross's age, erections also have a two-year lifespan. Sigh, I miss those days.

 

Met a 18 year old girl recently. A virgin, insisted on not losing her virginity, though everything else was fine. Was really bad at giving head, so I ended up fucking her in the mouth. Just made her lay on the bed and fucked her in the mouth, blowing a huge load right in her mouth. She didn't mind.

Shit man, some girls are really weird.

 

From the first woman I bedded, it took 9 years from the end of that relationship to find another woman I wanted to sleep with. *My unimpressive achievement for this post.*

You can't be much older than I am. I also have diabetes, meaning I'm unusually healthy in spite of my crappy doctors.

Your unimpressive achievement is essentially that you can't tell a girl how you like your knob polished? That's very unimpressive, and also qualifies as an achievement.

 

Such a pussy, a real man would do it.

 

Why are you still amongst the living?

 

We tried several times, she's a like a vacuum cleaner, it mostly just hurts. 鸡巴都红了

It's the first time I really fucked someone in the mouth, as in with a force. It was so humiliating for her, yet she didn't say a thing. Very submissive.

 

Well yeah, that's a tad demeaning. This is still on you, however. Did you try telling her to suck less? There's no indication you actually told her anything from your latest post, which may qualify as another unimpressive achievement.

 

Do you want to hear more of my degenerate stories? Last month I took a whole pill of viagra (a knock off one, though, it's nowhere as strong) and called a call girl. I should mention that my "joystick" is rather big, probably twice larger than what the locals have. I was fucking that call girl for about half an hour, maybe more, doggy style, without any restraint. The poor girl bled.

 

If we're just going to make stuff up, then I've had a threesome with Michael and Janet Jackson.