This is your lucky day DU! (well, yesterday really)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dark Elf, Apr 16, 2008.

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  1. floyd

    floyd New Member

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    floyd, Apr 25, 2008
    floyd, Apr 25, 2008
    #41
    Pregnant women are teh sexy.
    It's like fucking two people at once.

    :roll:

    Wait... that sounds sorta disgusting...

    :roll:
     
    floyd, Apr 25, 2008
    floyd, Apr 25, 2008
    #41
  2. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    #42

    Pregnant women are teh pregnant. I have a feeling that if I was ever attracted to a pregnant woman, she'd be my wife...and the kid would have to be mine.
    Otherwise I just kinda steer away from all that.
     
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    #42
  3. GrimmHatter

    GrimmHatter Active Member

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    GrimmHatter, Apr 26, 2008
    GrimmHatter, Apr 26, 2008
    #43
    GrimmHatter, Apr 26, 2008
    GrimmHatter, Apr 26, 2008
    #43
  4. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    #44
    I would had liked to live in the Stone Age when there were like 5000 people on planet Earth. And then I'd make about 200 women pregnant. All the people living on Earth today would be my descendants.

    That's pretty difficult to pull off at present when there's like 6+ billion people. I guess the only viable way to procreate enough to be the ancestor of everyone living in the year 5000 without resorting to nuclear means is to open a worldwide breeding franchise for lesbian/single women. They pay me a hefty sum, a lawyer sorts out the paperwork so I won't have any responsibility for the kid and then it's scrumping all the way from there. Let's say I retire when I'm 65 and successfully impregnate 200 clients a year (is that high or low?), that's 8400 babies, give or take a few percent due to SIDS and twins. The gene pool would SO be mine in a couple of generations.

    Of course, to speed up global domination I'd get a proper wife to give me a bunch of sons who can take over the business when I retire.

    I wouldn't do that though. Most lesbians are simply too ugly (and if the kids turn out gay too that's where my bloodline stops anyhow).
     
    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    #44
  5. wobbler

    wobbler Well-Known Member

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    wobbler, Apr 26, 2008
    wobbler, Apr 26, 2008
    #45
    Well, you wont acutally have to screw them.
    You could just sell away your sperm, same thing but no scrumping of ugly lesbos.
     
    wobbler, Apr 26, 2008
    wobbler, Apr 26, 2008
    #45
  6. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    #46
    Ok, DE. One big problem I see with that is you actually getting around to 200 different women at that time, unless you had a working airplane.
    If you had the plane you'd instantly be worshiped or revered, and people would give you women to scrump. However, you didn't make one mention of future scrumping accoutrements, so I'm guessing you have some sort of super spunk due to you being a caveman/elf at the time.
     
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    #46
  7. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    #47
    They'd be the ones contracting me to do all the hard work, the least they could do is to take a plane to my place for the scrumping sessions (greatly increasing the revenues of local hotels, who'll gladly sponsor me when I get things started). Eventually I should have the money to buy my own plane I could take to my clients, but I would only do that for customers who are of special priority (ie "really hot") or pay an additional fee.

    I bet there's hundreds of thousands of men donating their jizz already. I'm going for quantity here, do you really think I'd hit the same number of conceptions if I did that? Most lesbians are somewhat bi after all and may have fantasies they want to live out. I fulfill that need.
     
    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    Dark Elf, Apr 26, 2008
    #47
  8. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    #48
    DE, I was talking about your prehistoric genome creation. I like the future one, but there would have to already be a climactic change in the earth's population for it to really take off.
     
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    Grossenschwamm, Apr 26, 2008
    #48
  9. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Apr 27, 2008
    Dark Elf, Apr 27, 2008
    #49
    Oh well, it's plan B then. Cut a deal with Iran, and as the bombs start flying, I make sure I'm the dude who makes it down to Vault 69.
     
    Dark Elf, Apr 27, 2008
    Dark Elf, Apr 27, 2008
    #49
  10. DarkFool

    DarkFool Nemesis of the Ancients

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    DarkFool, Apr 27, 2008
    DarkFool, Apr 27, 2008
    #50
    Given the US's tendancy to dump vast amounts of money into pointless things, please wait until after Bush is no longer president. That way they don't tuck him in a bunker for 'safe keeping.'
     
    DarkFool, Apr 27, 2008
    DarkFool, Apr 27, 2008
    #50
  11. GrimmHatter

    GrimmHatter Active Member

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    GrimmHatter, Apr 28, 2008
    GrimmHatter, Apr 28, 2008
    #51
    Yes the last thing we need is him contributing any more to the collective genome of the human race. Too bad his daughters are already well on their ways too.
     
    GrimmHatter, Apr 28, 2008
    GrimmHatter, Apr 28, 2008
    #51
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