There's a problem...

My best friend is dating a total slut. I know she's slept with at least two guys regularly while dating my friend, before she ever had sex with him. When he was reasonably close to assuming something, she slept with him to keep him around. I know the two guys she's scrumped, one's a dick and the other's an ass for not saying no. He hangs out with my friend sometimes! What I want to do is reveal this whole situation to my friend while she's present, but in a way that's not directly obvious, however I want her to become defensive.
I'm thinking I'll phrase it as a book I've been "reading" about this girl who lives with her dad, and she's got a boyfriend that cares about her a lot. Despite this, she feels the need to form intimate relationships with other guys, while keeping her boyfriend unassuming and blind by being so nice and acting like his girlfriend. The guy's best friend finds out and has no idea how to break it to his friend in a manner even remotely believable, or in a way that wouldn't destroy the friendship simply because of how much he knew. The problem is that the girl doesn't realize what she's doing is wrong, and in fact probably doesn't know how to stop. All that matters is that she's got her "real" boyfriend, and soon she'll move in with him.

How the fuck am I going to save my best friend? This is seriously one of those situations where a person's life would be destroyed if something's not done. The first of the other two guys I mentioned, the dick, was her first serious boyfriend. She utterly crushed him. They were going to get married and she dumped him;
She had been seeing someone else the whole time. Not my friend, though. She's like some sort of female player.

 

That's a tough situation, man, and I wish I had advice for you. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do. If he's really into the girl, you really can't do much regardless of how you try. If you start to convince him and he gets suspicious of her, there's still not much by way of proving it. A really manipulative person (i.e. the girl) can find a way out of any situation, and provide a reasonable, believable excuse for almost every accusation.

Be careful not to alienate your friend if you try to bring it out into the open like that. If it doesn't go well, things like that can make you seem like the bad guy, and can make you look like a douchebag even if what you say is received well. I suppose you can hope one of the guys she's fucking will get tired of it and admit it to your friend, but short of that, you might have to let things get sorted out on their own.

I always listen when my friends tell me stuff like that, even if I don't believe them, but in the end, people really have to learn things when it all goes to hell. It has for me in some situations, and it's the only way I know to stay away for certain girls no matter how things seem to be going.

 

Seems to me you have several options:

1. Just tell him. Thats no fun.

2. Confront her about it and covertly record her self-damning statements. That could be fun.

3. Spill the beans with both of them present and get their reactions on video, then post it on youtube. Also fun.

4. Have the bimbo knocked off. This would be my choice.

5. Since she's handing it out for free, see if you can get a piece of the action. Scrump that bitch! (Oh, and get it on video.)


EDIT: I almost forgot:

6. Distribute flyers advertising a gang-bang at her place.

 

I got them to break up once, because I knew that she was not really emotionally ready for a stable relationship, and he was just acting like her puppet.
It lasted for 10 days, and they got back together.
My biggest problem with it is I'm sure that he knows about it, but he's so desperately in love with the girl that he won't give her up. How the hell do you stop that? As corny as it sounds, if you desperately love someone, nothing can change how you feel. You've got a problem that can only be fixed by having your heart broken.
Their character flaws are what holds them together. They're both horribly co-dependent, and think they need another person to feel whole (and she needs to feel a couple of other persons in her hole). It's sad.

My eyes well up with tears sometimes because I know what it's like to be hurt as badly as he's going to be, or how he'll stubbornly stay with her even if he sees what's happening. I don't want this, any of this. I've known him since I was five and I'm watching him make a huge mistake, I can't actually interfere. It's not my life, so he won't listen to me.

 

You'll learn in time that you can't make descisions for people, and that making a mistake is the only way some lessons are learned. He's probably gonna fall hard, but such are the consequences of letting your emotions overrule logic. It happens and it sucks, but he'll be better off for having learned his lesson the hard way.

In the mean time, I'd suggest that you give him one good talking to then let it lie. He's going to do what he has his mind/heart/penis set on doing, and no well constructed argument will make him change his mind. But after it's all over, you can say, "I told you so."

 

That is just sad..
But when someone is so desperatly in love with someone else, that they don't care about even the slightest mistake, and doesn't wanna see the biggest, there is not really much to do.



Girl problems are the worst ones...


What you could try to do, is to sit down and talk with them.
Tell them that this isn't working, they will end up hurting eachother if they continue on this way.

Or only talk with your friend if the girl is a total bitch, but from what I have heard, she might not.
Giving a serious talk with her might prove helpfull, both for her and your friend.


Oh, you should always tell the truth to your friend, he might get upset and angry at you, but your is friend, so you can't lie to him. If he gets angry it is really his problem, and if he is your friend, he will come back to you, so to speak.

 

Well, I had a friend whom is madly in love with a guy who was madly cheating on her. We've told her time and time again that he's cheating on her, but she refuses to believe. He broke up with her at one point, and dated another girl, then came back to her, and she took him back. Despite our best efforts, all that has been accomplished is the destruction of my friendship with her. Also, try and figure out why he loves her. The girl I've spoke of loves him because he looks after her, and tells her what she wants to hear, something she desperates craves. If you find out why he's so madly in love with her (probably it's out of lonliness, or something akin to it), then you can work on curing him of his attraction to her. Remember something though: You can bring the truth to him, but you can't make him see it. You've to figure out a way to make him believe it. Something I don't've a clue how to do. Also, if you can find a different, better girl for him to be with, get them to break up, and introduce the better girl a day or two afterwards. The realization that there may be other people out there for him, especially when it's immediately obvious, helps keep couples from returning to each other, even if they're in "love."

 

He loves her because she's a tomboy, she does all of the things he likes to do, and she knows more about cars and repairs than most guys I've met. Despite all of this, she's not an ugly or manly woman. She just looks like the kind of girl who can kick your ass.

My post last night was during a culmination of all the shit that happened throughout the last year. If explosives can be used as an analogy;
It takes a while for the flame to reach my fuse, but when it does there is no running from the blast. It takes even longer to piss off my friend, but his fuse is the same length. That's what made what happened on the 15th so ugly.
He and I both ruminate on negative emotions around the time that we'll explode, and we both had a situation in which one guy (for each of us) pissed us off so much that we started making plans to destroy them. Not literally destroy, more like "let bleed out in the gutter."
Sad thing is, we're both really good at forming such plans, and it scares the shit out of everyone who knows us (and coincidentally they just found out). My breaking point was about two weeks before his, and I made some plans that were utterly foolproof. He had some on his target. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not advocating such behavior. It's just that, at the time, I didn't care about the end result. Same thing for my friend. Add that murderous rage to a latent distrust of his girlfriend, and you have a fucked up phone call (that I was "lucky" enough to hear and watch play out).
Every possibly display of human emotion was in that car. He was experiencing an entire lifetime of anguish and joy, love and hate, rage and calm...I watched my friend's heart get ripped out, and I heard everything she screamed at him over the phone. She was screaming at him! If anything, I thought he'd be yelling. Thank god we were in a book store when it started, or he'dve been screaming the whole time. She called him a pussy and that he'd never do shit about what had happened, then started saying how scared she was that he'd kill her whole family over this (I know, right? What the fucking fuck!?). All of this because he wanted to tell her ex boyfriend to stop putting the moves on her. The girl's biggest problem is how controlling she is in a relationship, and for some reason my friend wanted that to be his life. However, as soon as he tries to tell off her ex, she tells him not to do anything, that she'll take care of it. She didn't, and he finally told her exactly why he was so pissed all the time, and why she had to back off. It was simultaneously the most proud and sad I've been for my friend since we started hanging out back in kindergarten. For a while I thought I'd lose him as a friend while they were still dating, but I know I still have my friend now, despite that he's got some issues to work out. I think I can help him this time.

 

You can say that again.

 

So she knows he's violent, and she challenged him anyway? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I'd say a big concern of your should be telling him to not follow up physically, and to just let it go. I know he's your friend, but its pretty important that you make sure he doesn't try to kill her or her family. Anger can make people do absolutely crazy things, even if you think you know them well. Really stress this to him. Find some other way to get back at her, scare her, perhaps mess with her mentally (cause what she did was pretty fucked up, I dont see anybody letting that go) , BUT DONT FOLLOW UP ON IT PHYSICALLY.

This girl sounds dumb as hell. She challenged someone whom, according to you, is known for using violent methods.... to use violent methods. Not wise...

 

Why don't you just post it in your MySpace? Don't give names, just say, "One of my friends" yada yada yada.

Or give him a copy of Arcanum and then tell him to come to this forum. We'll bitch-slap him.

 

Cool, Bunny is back

Well, it seems like this will get sorted out.

 

I think Gross was saying that suggesting that he might was a ridiculous thing to say. Not only wouldn't he do it, but regardless, why insult someone and challenge them to do something, then tell them how worried you were that they'd do it? At least, that's how I understood it.

 

My point was that he would never do anything to hurt her family (and she fucking KNOWS that, plus it's retarded to challenge someone to take action and then freak out like he'll go too far). He'd definitely hurt her ex, but he would never in countless lifetimes have the urge to kill her family, because of how much he respects her father and how much he adores her grandma (essentially, those two people are the girl's family). It's fucked up. And they're somehow trying to patch things up to the point of a friendship. I'll have some words for the girl when I see her tomorrow.
Everyone has a breaking point. Everyone. Pick the nicest person you know, and work on a weakness, and they'll kill. They'll be so angry that they'll kill. Why she was pushing him is beyond me (she probably wanted MORE proof that he's a guy), but I know it pissed me off that she was trying to work at his weakness.
Three things not to do when you know me;
Hurt my family
Hurt my pets
Hurt my friends
If I go into a relapse it's her head. Then mine, some days later.

 

Good idea, make your move now while she's hurting and vulnerable. You'll be in her pants in no time.

 

I'm not dipping my ladle into that fire-crotched succubus.

 

Wow Japes have you been reading this thread at all? Then again, it's not the first time you suggested it.

I normally wouldn't say this about such a serious topic, but maybe Gross should have you take care of this, now that the two of them broke up and are thinking about still talking to each other.

 

I wouldn't recommend sexing her at all. At all. Even if it's a one night stand (unlikely, despite her sluttish demeanor), you'll get wrapped up in it. Everyone who sleeps with her does, and it's why everything is so fucked up.