The 'Tard is with child

Hey guys. How long's it been since Jarinor, Snowie, mrnobodie and gang showed their faces here?

Anyway, if Jarinor is still here, you'll be glad to know I finally knocked the missuss up. We have a beautiful 4 month old girl.

Hope all my old mates here are well.

 

I think if a fetus has been born and has since survived for four months, it is far too late for abortion.
On a lighter note, CONGRATULATIONS! I've never met you, but I'm sure you're a great dad.

 

While technically too late to have the abortion, it could have been considered...

Congrats by the way Retard. Make sure you train your wife early. The boob is magic. Only she has it and only she can work the magic. If your kid is srcraming, it's her job to fix it -- at any hour (with said boob).

 

Come on, it's only too late for an abortion if they can spell the word.

Retard, that's going to be one confused little girl. Congratulations.

 

Congratulations.

 

Fuck it, I want to knock someone up too. And then say to the missus: "Get the fuck out of my life, you filthy cockslut!" and then she'd be all "But I love you, floyd, I love you, and this baby is going to be the result of that love, so please let me stay, baby, I'll be good to you" but I'm all "No fucking way, biatch! Who the fuck says that that is my kid growing in there? Who the fuck says you didn't suck and fuck some stranger's cock? Eh? It wouldn't be the first time, would it, you fucked up whore? So yeah, get the fuck out of my house and get the fuck out of my life!" but she's still going all "Oh baby, baby, please don't do this to me, please, I love you, I love you so much, please let me stay, I'll do everything for you, everything, you just name it and I'll do it for you", so I see a possibility there, a source of pleasure even, so I ask a minute to think it through and then, finally, I go like "Oh yeah? You'll do everything for me, little girl?" and she's going "Oh yes, baby, yes, yes, yes, everything", so I smile, I drop my pants, whip out my meat and tell her TO GET THE FUCK DOWN ON ALL FOURS AND START BARKING LIKE A CRIPPLED DOG BECAUSE WHEN I'M DONE WITH THAT TIGHT LITTLE SHITTER OF YOURS THAT IS EXACTLY HOW YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL LIKE!

So yeah.

Wicked shit.

 

... Aaaaand that was Floyd, our stand-up molester, performing one of his classics, the "my-cock-is-too-big-for-your-ass-biatch"!

And now for something completely different!

When the baby cries, have you consider selling her? If so, you're normal.

Congratulations, Retard. You don't know me, but I know you. And your family. We're watching you.

 

Conrats on the new addition. If the girl gets to annoying, you could always sell her to travelling Gypsies. (Just try and keep her away from Floyd, he's got issues...)

 

I say a Gypsy yesterday , she tried to convince me to buy one of here "magick medallions"

 

And by "magic medallion" I'm assuming it was a todger on a string?

 

No Gross, that would be a pinata.

 

congrats on the girly, retard... but i bet mine's cuter than yours

 

Well , you can say so , she also spoke in riddles , like : "You have my key to the gate"

 

why don't you stick to talking about things about which you have a fucking clue?

 

Pardon? , are you accusing me for something?

 

exactly.

 

Fair enough

 

Hang on, I just found my Guillotine in the basement buried under some old DOS games.

Starn, come help me set it up and test it....

 

Who's Starn?