The Situation

Fine, maybe some of you are psychos. Happy now?!

 

Happy now? HAPPY NOW??? Fuck you and your fiancée and Steve, and their mom, and friarfuck, and everyone else who posts here. I come here, day after day, busting my gut to keep you all entertained, and what do I get in return? Nothing but disdain and occasional bannings. It's not easy, you fucks. IT'S NOT EASY! I don't have to do this. I should be working right now. My boss is sitting opposite me, blabbing away on the telephone about team priorities or what not. Yeah, that's right, I work in an office - we can't all be hipster layabouts like ytzk, driving through the countryside trolling for women, while I sit here working my ass off to pay taxes so that the world keeps turning and he can get his dick sucked. Jesus! How the hell do you think the oil keeps flowing out of Uzbecki-fucki-stan to power your car if not for drones like me that keep the economy going? Oh sure, it's easy to make snide comments about it from the safety of the Outback, but I don't happen to think that Mad Max was a template for utopia. Though I can see that most of you dipshits wouldn't know the difference because you spend all day doped up to the nostrils and reporting your vapid dreams as futurology or holding massive debates about whether to upgrade the board to PHP three point fucknuts and then not doing a goddamn thing about it because you're too busy not giving out the avatars that we all spent a whole fucking month deciding on. Butt-munching fuck-stools! Who the hell cares about freshmen student musings on overpopulation and the fate of humanity spouted by jumped-up pseudo intellectuals who have no expertise in the subjects and can't tell a reasoned opinion from a pair of diseased hamster balls? I should come round to every single one of your houses, take a dump on your desks, and then smear it all over your computer screens so that you can say "Oh look, another post from Smuel" because none of you illiterate tools can appreciate the difference between the crafted work of a genius wordsmith and literal shit. Then you'd sit there smudging faeces into your keyboards and wondering why you're suddenly feeling aroused, because the aroma of my excrement brings each and every one of you to the brink of sexual release since you've never smelled a real man's pheremones before. Mother jumping Jesus with pixie sticks up his holy fucking ass do I hate you all.

Anyway, maybe you could hang a big banner up saying "Happy 19th Birthday" and then make out like it's 2013 and he's skipped a whole year of his life.

 

It's okay Smuel, here are some relaxing ocean noises.

The banner idea is pretty good, it's definitely made the shortlist. Maybe I should try and convince him he was in a coma and that's why he can't remember the previous year.

 

I really enjoy reading your posts, Smuel. But, if you don't get ANY kind of satisfaction posting on this forum, I'm not sure why you're still here.

 

Sorry, I thought this thread was going to be about Jersey Shore.

MANPADS?

 

Thanks for your entertaining posts, Smuel, and for keeping the oil flowing.

Mother jumping Jesus with pixie sticks up his holy fucking ass do I appreciate it.

Despite what I say, you are always welcome to join my feral gang of post apocalyptic road warriors if the office gets too stale. Don't worry, you'll be so stoned that you won't know it from utopia.

 

Thank you, and good night.

 

what what we got a Situation

 

It's very nice of you to suggest a custom avatar for me, Grakelin.

 

I'm game for Smuel having a Mike Sorrentino avvie. In about 500 posts.


On an unrelated note, I initially misread this as being Jojobo's fianceé, so I thought he was just gay and was really confused about why it would scar him to see him fap.

 

Do women fap? I thought that was a strictly masculine masturbatory verb.

 

Only possible if they come out of Thailand.

 

That...that is why he deserves an avatar.

 

Care to elaborate?

 

Thailand is famous for its gender reassignment surgeries as well as transvestite males who sell themselves on the street. A clever statement that's context relevant by Arthgon.

He's got his gems, Muro. In general, a boor has none.

 

I understood Arthgon's joke and expressed curiosity regarding the reasoning behind your comment on it. Curiosity linked with hope that it's something different than suggesting a single demonstration of wit warrants receiving a custom. Surely the House's standards aren't that low.

 

I don't know, Wayne got a custom after all.

 

Then you haven't understood any of Arthgon's other jokes. I don't see regular wit from Arthgon, but he certainly does shine at times. Now, given he's got over 2000 posts to pore through, I'm reticent to pick each and every one out of the pile.

 

There is a difference between not understanding jokes and not finding them amusing.

[/case]

 

Well, I'm not regularly witty either, and yet I have a custom.