The Situation

The situation is that my fiancée's brother is having his 18th birthday a week on Wednesday, and we'll be visiting on the Monday. He is not aware of this; so the question arises what is the best way we can surprise/scare the crap out of him in a memorable way?

The Monday is a bank holiday - so the trouble is there is no way of knowing whether he will be in or out of the house at the time of our arrival (and so nothing too elaborate can be set up). Also I'm not too keen on spending money on this venture, or at least not very much.

Our thoughts so far:

• Wait in his bedroom behind his door, and when he enters either make some weird noise (I'm quite capable of making a horrible animalistic snorting noise, or we could just make a weird unsettling sound that starts low and gets higher) or just say something in a gravelly voice like "Hello Steve" or "You're looking very pretty today, Steve" - you get the idea.
  
• Do any of the above, but hidden in his closet.
  
• Greet him, but be entirely nonchalant about it, remaining as deadpan as possible.
  
• Same as above, but pretend we've been there for a few days already and that he's losing his mind. Trouble is his and my partner's mum isn't very good at acting in these situations, so if she's involved it will probably fall apart fairly rapidly.

He's got a reasonably nervous disposition so I'm inclined to scare him, any other ideas or is one of the above good? I don't want to go overboard, as in I'm not going to put on a mask and jump out his closet with a knife, but things a step below that are certainly acceptable.

As to what skills I have for this caper - I'm very good at being weird. Something good to illustrate this is a couple of years ago I was the step above my fiancée on a down escalator. She wasn't talking to me, and from observation you wouldn't know that we knew each other at all. So, feeling the urge to do something inappropriate, I made intense eye contact with a person going up on the opposite escalator and sniffed deeply into my partner's hair. She didn't even notice, so for all this stranger knew I was leching on a complete stranger. It made me chuckle.

I'm also quite flexible - I guess I wouldn't normally bring that up but I don't know what kind of unusual things you might suggest! Anyway, go crazy - anything weird and unusual you can think of just say and I'll put some thought into it.

 

Weird and unusual surprise party:-

1) Knowing he is nervous and that it is his special day, call ahead and ask, politely if he's okay with a surprise party.

2) Wait in full view outside his house until you are all invited in.

3) Give him a ten second countdown before shouting or better yet, saying, 'surprise'.

 

You're no fun ytzk. And no this isn't a surprise party persay, he was just bemoaning the fact that none of his close relatives (apart from his parents) were going to be around for his birthday (because we thought initially we'd have more work on than we do), hence the surprise. He's not horrifically nervous, don't worry whatever you suggest won't give him a heart attack, he is just quite nervous.

 

Put drugs at his pocket and call police.
It would be wise to talk to policeman beforehand.

 

Naah, that's practically on the level of jumping out of his closet with a knife. Furthermore, I'd need to purchase illicit substances to make this possible - which I'm not inclined to do.

 

A possibility is that he may start to fap before you jump out of the closet. Should this happen, a) you'd have to spend the rest of his 'performance' in a closet, not making a sound and pray that he'll leave the room soon, therefore scarring yourself, but saving him from ultimate surprise of his life, or b) jump out during the 'performance' and with this sign his future suicide letter.

On a bit more serious side; I thought that this kind of surprise parties are only the thing in American movies.

 

Is this the same kid with whom you sat down and watched Caligula?

Nervous disorder explained.

 

Rig up a rope harness that makes you appear to be hanging by the neck, arrange for him to find you hanging from a tree. Have a 'suicide note' taped to your chest that says, "Surprise!"
As soon as he reads the note, scream HAPPY BIRTHDAY at the top of your lungs.

 

When he is alone in his room confess to him that now he is 18 you think he is old enough to know that you are dating his sister to be closer to him. Make him really awkward as well by touching his knee and stuff.

 

Indeed it is.

Sadly I've already tried this shortly after the time I got into bed naked with him. I said "You know Steve, I didn't end up in your bed entirely by accident" - he didn't buy it.

I would just jump out anyway, I don't care if I see his business. In any case, he has a girlfriend so I doubt he spends too much of his time jerking off when he has someone else to do it for him.

This is probably the best suggestion so far, and if I had the time something I would love to do! Still the trouble is he lives in terraced housing with a small garden and there isn't a tree anywhere close, also it would take too much time to set up. I guess I'll just have to remember this one though, in case an opportunity comes in the future when I could use it.

 

My advice is to break off the engagement now, before you get trapped in a life of domestic drudgery.

 

Some couple of ideas;

1) You could send some male strippers to his house and make them say that he definitely asked for this. Awkward.

2) Some 'policemen' comes to his place to 'arrest' him.

3) Say you will jump of the roof. A doll with your clothes on to proof this.

4) Lock him out. So he has to stay all day outside in the garden.

5) Speak to him as if you do not know him at all.

6) Empty his whole bedroom. And replace it with girls stuff. But I think it will take too much time.

 

Way to summarise the thread so far Arthgon.

 

Those fall more into the general pranks category Arthgon, the thing is I personally want to surprise him - not send a policeman round to his house or use some other third party means. Thanks for the suggestions anyway.

Due to the tone of the message, I presume you're being serious, so I will respond seriously. I don't see long-term relationships as drudgery, but I can see how some people might so I'm not going to say you're wrong for thinking such.

I recently discovered the Tridimensional Personality Model, which states people's personalities boil down to three things: novelty seeking (craving new experienes), harm avoidance (wanting to keep yourself and others safe) and reward dependance (how much you desire to please people, so that you are "rewarded" for that behaviour with their approval). I discovered this in reference to my OCD, and basically the source says that people with OCD score low in novelty seeking, but high in reward dependance and harm avoidance (tending towards the extreme in each instance). I can attest to the fact that all of these things are very true of me; in my day to day life I'm cautious, like to have a routine and order, and I try to please others. On the opposite end of the scale you have the traits of a psychopath - someone who craves new experience and doesn't care about his own well being or that of others. They also don't get any emotional reward from the approval of others, which is why they can act so cruelly. Basically with OCD you perceive a harmful or detrimental situation when there isn't one (becoming the content of your obsessions), and because of your out of synch interpretation of the danger you get extremely anxious.

Back to the original point, because I'm the polar opposite to someone who craves new experience, what you find as drudgery I find quite satisfying. Most "normal" people have middling scores in each of these three areas - meaning that you probably do appreciate new experience more than me and so wouldn't be as contented with the idea of settling down as I am. None of these things are criticisms, it just demonstrates well that what makes you happy may not necessarily make other people happy.

I'm not taking this model as gospel either, all models like this are flawed. However, when applied to my own situation, it makes perfect sense making it easy for me to accept its credibility.

Also who posted a response and deleted it revealing the numerous amount of edits I make to my posts when I can get away with it? Who ever it was - damn you! *Shakes fist*

 

You could always delete and repost your message to remove those edit markers.

That is, until now.

 

Oh man, have you ever read any of my posts before? I'm never serious.

Due to the tone of the message, I presume you're being serious, so I will respond seriously:

Firstly, I think there's an error in your logic. It does not follow that because you are not a psychopath, and I am not like you, therefore I am a psychopath.

Secondly, fuck you, man. Fuck you.

Thirdly, I'm guessing it was ytzk. That guy is like a posting ninja.

 

That was a rhetorical you, not a personal you. If there was a preceding comma, it would have been a personal you.

 

I didn't say you were a psychopath, I was just saying what the other end of the scale was like for interest. I actually assumed you and probably everyone on this forum were mostly the normal people who would have middling scores, but if you keep telling me to go fuck myself I might reconsider!

I know you're seldom serious, but that was delivered quite deadpan.

EDIT: Didn't see Friartuck's post - basically, what he said.

 

How dare you!