The quest for the Scroll of Forum Resurrection

With lucid rationality (erroneously called bluster by some short-sighted passers-by when I happened upon them later) I attempted to explain to Andrew the lack of wisdom in his course, "Are you flaming mad or just SIMPLE? Leave the Locomunator behind? Never! This divine machine is worth any two mages even in its present ... ahhh ... ahem ... operationally challenged condition!

"Damn the man! I ignore the fact he probably can't tell the difference between an inflation collocator and a pushpull demystifier, and generously agree to join him on a quest during which he'll probably wear dresses and I'll be needing to duck every few seconds while he waves his arms around, and he has the gall to tell me whose name is practically legend around here - and some of that legends has almost no explosions or collisions in at all - that I have to leave my prized possession at home in case it interferes with his antiquated mumbo-jumbo!

"I say, don't you know where we are, fellow? This is Tarant: home of invention, mother to wonders. We're not in that backwater village of witchdoctors now. Do try to absorb some propriety while you're here, eh? Not everyone is as tolerant of your barbarous customs as me, wot?"

So saying I resolved to follow the damn fellow wherever he went in our city, to make sure he didn't offend the wrong frustrated genius and end up having something a deal more unpleasant than handlebars whacked against his privates.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sheriff Fatman on 2001-12-04 14:08 ]</font>

 

I listened to Andrew with only half an ear, as we had already discussed the Scroll. But when I noticed the Sheriff turning purple, my attention returned to their conversation. I want a spell to turn the Sheriff purple!
I heard the mage's plan to leave the mehkuhnized beast behind, and began searching for a place to hide.
But I plucked up my nerve and sought a way to defuse the situation.
"Sheriff, perhaps you could leave your veehickul with Cedric Appleby for repair. You've adventured succesfully before without all your Tecknawlowgee. Do you remember our attack on the Castle of Hymen, when your equipment failed? It was a bloody battle, but we got through it."


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Feldon Kane on 2001-12-04 15:20 ]</font>

 

Me! Bend over! Not likely...

"In case you haven't noticed, I am a halfling. I don't need to bend over to see what's wrong with your transportation device...and leaving it with Cedric Appleby will ensure that the machine will never work again...I know, ah, someone who can fix it though, and guarantee the repairs for a year as well, provided you don't crash it."

While I waited for the Sheriff to think my proposal over, I turned to Andrew.

"Yes, I think I will join on your quest...our purpose seems to be common, at least for now..."

So saying, I turned and began to gather the items of value from my pie stand. Finally, a plausible reason to leave the Culinary Arts Exhibit without blowing my cover...

 

Mollified a little by Feldon accurately recalling my past successes, and knowing that without repairs, the Locomunator would - strictly speaking - only be more useful than two mages in that it wouldn't whine so much as I hauled it along, I determined the old girl probably could do with a holiday.

This fellow Luden, despite being a bit touchy about being asked to bend over, sounded like he had some wits. Not that it took a degree in therapeutics to see that Cedric needed a brain tonic. I did wonder somewhat at his eagerness to get his hands on my equipment.

"Oh very well, I'll put the Locomunator in storage, and if your friend agrees to the usual paper work recogonising my patent, I'll leave it where you suggest. Feldon's insight is uncommonly accurate in his assessment of my abilities, so you probably need me along.

"Speaking of which, I couldn't help noticing your little trick with the knife earlier, Luden. Have you ever considered the merits of a carefully placed large spring to ... ah ... velocitate the process ...?"

While talking, I began emptying the Locomunator's paniers, stashing the accrutements of my profession into the various pockets of my great coat. The process was only a little hampered by the need to avoid disrupting the network of fine golden wire lining it, and I congratulated myself on the wire-efficient redesign I had recently made. That done I turned back to my new companions to see if they were as ready to move along as me.

 

"Yes, I tried that once. I ended up with my knife going wildly out of control with every swing. Rest assured, my friend will recognise your patent. Perhaps he might even be able to improve upon your machine, free of charge...If you want, we can take it to him now, and meet Feldon and Andrew back at Madam Lil's when the clock strikes 12. No doubt you know where it is Feldon?"

 

Well Sheriff your masheen would become a dust pile if I'd cast a disintegrate on it.Should I demonstrate?And right now it really looks as a pile of junk.Don't your ever try insulting me again because my temper is not unlimited.Of course now you'll say something like you aren't scared of me but I advise you not to try your luck.I think we can go with you on the quest but you'll have to stop talking nonsense like that.Agreed?

If the quest wouldn't require so much people you'd be a small pile of dust right now.

 

Little did the fellow realise how truly scared of him I was: reckless bravado always makes nervous. Of course, needing the cash to fix my pride and joy, I wasn't about to let on.

"Fine, fine, let's get on with it. Noone likes to listen to a load of nonsense, I'll agree. Should we depart?" I asked Luden, looking forward to the prospect of getting away from the twitchy magic-user. Once again I thanked my stars that my mother didn't raise any mages.

 

*Hehe those technologist are sooo predictible you can just see in hteir eyes what they think.Hmm he thinks I am stupid or something.It seems master was right really fogs the mind*
"Ok we should set off.First we need to go to Ashbury because it seems there is a PERSON in our party with whom I shouldn't go to Tulla.Then in Ashbury we should go to the haunted castle and seek out some ancient books about scrolls.Come on,Feldon I'll hire a girl or two there."

*I started walking away not looking behind me 'cause I was tired of those stupid ramblings of Sheriff.Sigh.Those simple-minded technologists.Well at least Luden and Feldon are smart fellows*

 

I could tell by the expression on his face that my platitudes and natural charm had finally won the mage over. It was heartening to have made a new friend.

As he turned to go, I began dragging the Locomunator into an upright position. "Give us a hand, Luden old boy. The artichoke fumbler I installed last week is made of lead and weighs a ton."

 

Wohoo I am a master !

So Feldon tell me of yourself but if you don't want to I'll understand.

 

It had been over an hour since I'd last visited Madame Lil's, and the very thought of returning there made me drool.
"Leg of lamb. Ohhhh. Rack of lamb...Why, yes, that sounds like an excellent idea! We shall meet you fellows at Lil's."
I caught up with Andrew, who began asking about my past. Well, I have my secrets, just like the next man, but there were a few kernels of truth I could share.

"I was born in a stable in a village I'd rather not name. My mother died during childbirth when a good-luck horseshoe hanging from a rafter fell on her. My father was killed a week later in a yak accident.
And so I was raised by my dear Nana, Candy Kane. She was a good woman who raised me on sheep's milk and kindness. Ah, how I remember the milk of my youth, fresh from the sheep. In later days we bought a cup, and I drank it that way.
Nana taught me to use a sword, and a bit of magick, then apprenticed me to the local sheepman, Rodrigo Ewestalker. He taught me to break the untamed, bucking sheep.
Many lads dream of one day becoming a sheepboy, but I was unfulfilled, so I began wandering. I have wandered ever since. And ewe?"

 

I helped the Sheriff pick up his Locomunator. He was right, that artichoke fumbler was heavy. Once we'd gathered the pieces together, I led him through the streets of Tarant...

 

I thought I knew my Tarant, in the same way I thought I knew my mother; she'd birthed me, raised me, seen to my education then sent me out into the world feeling a little superior. Five minutes with Luden showed me a side of her I hadn't seen - dirty, smelly and dangerous to unwary men. Tarant, that is, not my mother.

I puzzled over my new companion as he led me towards an uncertain destination. He claimed to be a man of science, and he'd certainly known what he was seeing as he looked at the Locomunator, but his manner seemed more that of a footpad. He surely was an unlikely composite, but not an unfriendly one, fortunately.

"So, tell me about these 'friends' of yours, Luden. Do you think they'll offer us a sherry? I'm rather parched"

 

"Of course he will have sherry. He has anything you desire...we are going this way to attract less attention, both to him and us. There are unfriendly eyes about, and we would do well to avoid them as best as possible."

I led the Sheriff towards the richer suburbs of town. I thought about blindfolding him, but he probably wouldn't consent. Besides, the fellow seemed honourable and honest enough. As we wound our way through the side streets, we came to a door cunningly disguised in the wall.

"Breathe a word of this entrance to anyone, and I will slit your throat" I warned him. I opened the door and led the way into Gilbert Bates' estate...

_________________
"Some things in life you can't help, the rest you can avoid"

"We will either find a way or make one" - Hannibal

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Jarinor on 2001-12-06 05:53 ]</font>

 

..........
"Hm it seems we're already at Madam's.I am going to hire Bunny.MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..... Oh...sorry.Will you hire a girl?"I was so eager so I didn't wait for an answer.I walked right in front of Madam Lil.
"Hello Andrew!Are you here today to do some shopping?"
"Of course!I'll go with Bunny as usual"I gave Madam the coins and went to my hot girlie.
"Hi Andrew!Let's go to my room!Come quickly!I missed you so much!"
"Ok baby.Well see you after an hour or two Feldon"

 

"Baaah!"

***CENSORED***

 

I went to Bunny's room and...
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And now


CENSORED!

 

"Don't worry, Luden. As the Babsy - the enthusiastic new initiate of Geshtianna - said upon misunderstanding the purpose of devotional candles: 'My lips are sealed'

"Now, let's get the old girl into the shop, knock back a sherry and get to the meeting point. If I know my old friend Feldon, we won't want to leave him too long in Belle's company - for both their sakes."

 

As was my wont when at Madame Lil's, I took a little nap, and awoke to the sound of the clock striking twelve. I was all fuzzy-headed, so I splashed some water on myself. Oops, that was the thunderjug.
I looked at my quietly snoring bedmate. How I adored her soft, liquid eyes; her pouting lips; her moist nostrils.
I leaned over and whispered into her ear, "I love ewe."
Then I climbed into my britches and went out to the lobby to see if my traveling companions had arrived.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Feldon Kane on 2001-12-06 15:30 ]</font>

 

"Come. We will take the locomunator to a shed, then I will go to see Gilbert."

We took the machine to a shed full of brand new tools - this was where Gilbert Bates himself tinkered away on his latest inventions. I left the Sheriff, and entered the house.

A short while later, I exited with Gilbert Bates and several servants carrying food and drink...