The Punisher

A new game is coming out based on the Punisher comics (thank God not the movie), and it looks like it's going to be pretty cool. The core game is straight action, but there's also an interrogation ability that's unique and looks to be fun. Excerpt from the Gamespot preview found here:

Damn, I want to play this game so bad. You can do the wood chipper killing from Fargo! THE WOOD CHIPPER MURDER!

 

Looks great but when's it coming out? And wha'ts the basic story for "the Punisher"?

 

AND the American History X one. Both are great. That Fargo one is hilarious though - Dammit, it won't fit! Oh shit, the cops! pretty much sums it up.

I'm also assuming from your post that the movie is terrible?

 

No, it's not terrible, as far as the movie itself goes, the storyline is the problem. It's not really that bad in and of itself, but it sucks ass compared to the comic.
Comic storyline: Franco Castellini is an ex-Mafia assassin who sang to the feds, and got put in the WPP as Frank Castle. He and his family were then gunned down in Central Park (I think) by Mafia hitmen who caught up with him. Only Frank survives. He dons a costume and goes out hunting Mafiosi. Every so often he turns to killing 'spanic drug runners or other such scum, but in general he's knocking off wise guys. The current artist draws him with distinctly Italian, even Sicilain features: prominent Roman nose, olive skin, deep-set brown eyes, black hair. He looks for all the world like a comic-book version of Sylvester Stallone.
Movie Storyline: Frank Castle (no name change) is a DEA assassin, and he is involved in the killing of Bobby Saint, the son of Howard Saint, an organized crime figure of unexplained origin. It's not even certain what Saint actually does, except handle coke money for some Cubans. Thus, Howard wants to kill Frank, and his wife (some hot package named Livia) tells him to kill his whole family, too. Howard does it, and Frank is left for dead. So he becomes the Punisher and spends the rest of the movie gunning for Saint.
Now, how much easier would it have been to stick to the original storyline? They wouldn't have had to have all the complicated DEA crap, and John Travolta is FUCKING ITALIAN ANYWAY, so why not make him a Mafia Don? No, because Hollywood is queer. So the Saint syndicate is just some random Anglo crime gang, which, last I heard isn't very common. Contrary to what the "official word" is, the Italian (and specifically Sicilian) Mafia still has a stronghold in America. They are just better about keeping it quiet. The Five Families are still alive and well in New York, and we even have a small (and apparently fairly weak) family up here in Binghamton, based out of Endicott's Little Italy.
Most of Saint's guys looked relatively Italian anyway, and had Brooklyn accidents, even though it was based in Miami. That's another thing. Which is cooler and a better atmosphere for a gritty revenge saga, sunny Miami or harsh, cloudy New York? It was all bullshit, but it didn't stop me from enjoying the movie, even though it felt like enjoying rape.

 

Rape takes two people, one of them usually winds up enjoying it.

 

I felt like I was enjoying BEING RAPED. Happy now?

 

Happy enough.

<edit>
I dont mean to derail the thread, but this is why I'm happy:

I'm almost to kentucky, and I'm in a Best Western, because we decided we wanted to sleep inside tonight instead of in someone's backyard. I've seen some really cool shit so far and I'm not even out of Virginia. Last night my rear wheel got all fucked up (just the spokes, and for reasons I wont bore you with) and I had to hitch hike to the city park we were allowed the luxury of sleeping in. It was so awesome, I hitched a ride in the back of a truck, slept outside on a bench, and took a bath in a sink in a park restroom. It was a small town and a well kept park though, so it was all good.

 

If you'd gotten some hot chick to give you a sponge bath, that would have been better.

 

Are you suggesting that the town drunk giving the sponge bath isn't good enough? What more do you want? What more could you possibly need?

 

Sleek stop over in Australia (I don't care if you can't ride your bike here that just isn't good enough) and I'll give you a sponge bath.

 

As I said; what more could you want than a sponge bath given by the town drunk?

Here's your big chance, Sleek.

 

I'm closer to being "some hot chick" than the town drunk unfortunately.

Speaking of being drunk, I wish alcohol was more accessable. I have to go to parties and parties aren't cool most of the time.

 

You're obviously going to the wrong sort of parties. What you need to do is wait about a decade, until you're in your mid 20's, then travel back in time to the 80's, and go along with the yuppie crowd. They had coke parties all the time, and if there's anything better than a drunk chick, it's a drugged chick.

 

Really? Does noone have parents they can steal a twelve-pack from?

Oh, the world is a hard, cruel place¹.


¹ And it's all your fault, Jar.

 

you're just not being creative enough. we used to go pay the homeless guy in the park to buy us cheap vodka. then we'd mix it with gatorade so it would get us drunk faster. worked like a charm.

 

Two words: Taka Vodka.

 

Sounds like South Park.

 

What you guys need to learn to do is make your own wine. It's not hard, and you can order all the stuff you need (jugs, bleeder valves, yeast, etc) over the internet. Also, recipes are readily available. Just pick your own fruit, and viola.

The dad and I currently have blueberry, pear, fig, persimmon, grape (of course), strawberry, peach, and huckleberry wines at various stages of the process. Some is bottled, some still fermenting..

And it's legal. I think the current law is you can make no more than 1200 gallons a year for personal use. (I do realize that some here probably drink more than that in six months.)

Apart from that, learn how to make moonshine, aka corn squeezin's, aka white lightning. Goes down smooth, and proceeds to whip ass from there.

 

I dunno, making your own booze takes time. More money could be earnt in that same time period, more booze acquired (and much sooner) and thus the ultimate objective of getting hammered is reached with as little delay as possible.

 

My nipples are hard.