The League of Extraordinarily Mundane Gentlemen

I posted this in the joke thread, and the more I think about it, the more I love it. So I'm making this a continuing series, unless I get banned or run out of celebrities to insult.

My first post is was...

There were three guys walking down the street. The first guy was talking on his cell phone and walked into a bar. The second guy was just fucking retarded and also walked into the bar. Both passed out and were dragged into the sewers to be raped by the evil sewer midgets.

The third man, henceforth Third Guy, ducked. A magic fairy that looked like Richard Simmons rewarded him by granting him the psychic powers and the ability to feel warm and fuzzy even if he gains 350 pounds. Then the Richard Simmons fairy started to dance aerobically, and Third Guy picked up the bar and beat him to death with it.

The next day Third Guy woke up, and went to another bar. This was the Magic Whiskey-Oozing Bar. It was oozing rum today because Ted Kennedy had showed up earlier that week and drank all the whiskey. So for a few minutes Third Guy and a few other dudes licked the pole. Then Third Guy realized that they were licking a long, hard, shaft-like object that oozed fluid. He told the other guys. They all stopped and looked at each other very uncomfortably for a minute or two.

After that they decided Third Guy would be their leader, and that they would try to take over the world. Two small mouse came out and cursed that he now had competition. A cat chased the mice away, and one kept yelling "Narf" all the way down the block. Then Third Guy got a telepathic message from a Haliburton representative. Haliburton was trying to take over the world and had purchased a patent for the concept. They wanted royalties. Third Guy then sent him an image of the Bill of Rights and the Haliburton company policy, and the contradictions made the representative's head explode.

Then one of the other guys, there were three, started vibrating. He reached into his ass and came out with a phone. It was his mother, and after he promised that he would be home for Thanksgiving and that he was wearing clean underwear, she hung up. Third guy looked at him curiously.

"Dude, why the fuck do you have a phone in your ass?"

"My last girlfriend was pretty possessive, and also a witch. So she stuck a magic phone in my ass. That's why the call me Magic Ass Phone Man."

"Oh, that has to suck."

"Tell me about it, it's a rotary phone."

All the men collectively cringed. A few minutes later Magic Ass Phone Man got another phone call. It was his spy friend at National Geographic, codename "Lionfucker". Lionfucker told him that the Keys to the World, required to start the World Domination Engine, we're locked in the Car of the World, also known as a Hummer. The Car of the World was parked inside the Cleavage of Hercules' Wife.

After relaying this info to the group they decided they would need to invade the On-Star, now available in all GM vehicles, building to unlock the doors of the car, then go get the keys. Another guy suggested that they just break the window, but he was silenced and henceforth named Shotgun Dick Asshole, because his penis had been amputated, and he had a 12-gauge attached instead. The girls usually enjoyed it until he blew his load, that was not as pleasant, and he hadn't had a girlfriend since the first Bush administration. That was why he was such an asshole.

Before they went to On-Star headquarters, Third Guy, being the leader that he is, remembered to stop at Gary Coleman's house.

"Yo Gary, he have a group, but we don't have a black man, or a midget."

"You stupid fuck, you can't have a group without a black dude or a midget! Let me get my damn coat."

Gary came out with several women following him. He was mumbling about stupid crackers and not representing.

"Look bitch, I even brought the bitches. Now let's bounce."

So off the merry band went to On-Star headquarters. Once they arrived they were greeted by a customer service representative. After trying to talk to them for two hours and only being told to please hold, they went outside to regroup. They decided that there was only one thing to do.

The last guy, known as Ultraman, who's power was being multi-orgasmic and being able to burp all 50 states names in reverse alphabetical order, went to a local pizza place and got a pie. He then beat the shit out of a delivery boy and took his uniform. Coming back to the On-Star building he walked in with the pizza.

"Did someone order sausage with their pizza?"

The entire place immediately devolved into one giant orgy and the team was able to pass by. But then they were stopped by a large women with a club. Shotgun Dick Asshole pulled out his shotgun dick and whacked off until he shot her in the face, which killed her almost instantly. Then they all got into an elevator and rode to the 617th floor.

They stepped out and realized that Jesus and God were sitting twenty feet in front of them playing strip poker with some super models. Quite surprisingly, God sucks at card games, although Jesus was managing to keep the ladies naked.

"Uh, what's up Jesus?"

"Nothing much guys. You wanted floor 616."

"Thanks man. What's up Gary, been awhile."

"Hell's yea, yo dudes, I'm gonna chill here."

Gary Coleman and his bitches left to hang out with Jesus, and the remaining crew went down one level to face the board of directors for On-Star. Exiting the elevator they were attacked by forty ninjas wielding nunchuks. Third Guy defeated all of them by holding up a bar and having them all run into it. They where then taken by the cousins of the evil sewer midgets, the deleterious office gnomes into the air vents and forced to watch a Survivor marathon.

Surging onward the burst into the board room and met their enemies, the five board members of On-Star.

"Now, we fight to avenge our friend's death."

"None of us have died."

"Oh, can we kick the shit out of them anyway?"

The first board member was a master of air, and attacked Third Guy with a tornado attack. Third Guy merely stood there in that pose people do so their hair looks really cool in the wind. The first board member was bald so this shocked and confused him, and Third Guy then beat him to death with his own cane.

The second board member was the master of water, and tried to drown Magic Ass Phone Man. Magic Ass Phone Man was about to go under when he called his witch ex-girlfriend. She showed up and removed the water. Then she gave him a magic blowjob.

"Dude, so that's why you stayed with her..."

Magically invigorated, Magic Ass Phone Man pulled some judo move that somehow lodged the man's ear in his other ear and his nose in his belly button. Then he cracked his neck.

"Couldn't you have just killed him to begin with?"

"Yea, but then I wouldn't have gotten a blow job. Plus I like that move."

He then took his now-girlfriend again to another room where they had make up sex for the remainder of the fight. The third member was a master of earth. He however, was in a building that is apparently 617 stories, so his powers could do nothing, and Ultraman stabbed him in the eye with a pen.

The fourth member was the master of fire. He tried to incinerate Shotgun Dick Asshole, but set off the emergency sprinklers. He then melted like the Wicked Witch of the West.

The last member was Bill Gates, far too powerful to be hurt by any of the four, or even the now trembling witch in the other room. So all the guys joined hands, and summoned Howard Stern, who then used his King of All Media powers to make the Microsoft stock drop. The loss of cash drove Bill Gates into a rage and he started rampaging the office. There was little they could do to stop him, until Third Guy, there really IS a reason he's leader, thought of something.

"Shotgun Dick, that petite little nerd gets laid more times a day then you have since Cobain died."

Shotgun Dick Asshole realized this and then, in a really rage-like rage, beat Bill Gates with a stapler until it broke, then moved on to the pencil sharpener. After other several broken office appliances, Bill Gates died.

They then opened the doors to the Car of all Worlds, using On-Star's Smart Key Technology. Howard Stern then offered to fly them to the Cleavage of Hercules' Wife if they agreed to destroy the FCC. To do so they needed to break Timothy McVeigh out of jail.

Magic Ass Phone Man called Lionfucker again, and learned that McVeigh was staying at a prison that was in the third circle of Hell.

So after they all got ready, they went to Barnes and Noble and bought a copy of Dante's Inferno. Shotgun Dick Asshole had to pay, because he's, well, an asshole.

The witch, henceforth Hot BJ Witch, opened a portal to the third circle and started throwing people in. Howard Stern went to have sex with Jenna Jameson. After they all got into the third circle, which is almost as rainy as Honolulu, although they get nice rain. This was shitty, NYC, acid rain. After trudging along for a little while, and making fun of the lost souls, they got to the prison, guarded by Cerberus. A few cans of Alpo bought his assistance and they got Timothy McVeigh.

Hot BJ Witch shoved some napalm up his ass, she must have a fetish or something, and teleported him to the FCC building. Then she tried to teleport all of them out, but when she rolled her d20 she only got a 3, and couldn't use any more spells per day. So they took the stairs.

After like 6 hours of climbing, and Ultraman bitching the entire time, they reached the Gates of Hell, a Starbucks in Hoboken New Jersey. After grabbing frapachinos, they headed off to the Howard Stern Building, where Howard greeted them, and let all of them except Shotgun Dick Asshole have sex with porn stars, because he is an asshole and Howard didn't want to have him shoot any of his porn stars.

Then they all flew to the Cleavage of Hercules' Wife. Third Guy reached into her blouse and pulled out the car, which grew to normal proportions. Hercules, a fifty something Greek guy who barely broke four feet, was mad about it, especially when Ultraman had sex with his wife in the back of the car, but Howard gave him a job as one of the freaks on his show, so everyone was happy.

They got the keys and headed for the World Domination Engine, which was under Santa's house. So Howard flew them all to the North Pole, and brought a camera crew so people could view at home on channel 51 at 11:00 p.m. They tried to enter to get to the machine but were beset by Santa's Ultimate Fighter Ninja Elf Brigade. They were too short to run into Third Guy's pole, and too fast for Shotgun Dick to shoot, no matter how hard he whacked. It looked bleak.

Until a very stoned Jesus popped up with an only moderately high Gary Coleman.

"Yo, sorry bout that, let me handle this."

"Yo man, that was like, good shit man."

"Shut up Jesus, and hold my hat."

Jesus held Gary's pimp hat while Gary used the cane on the elves. After about two minutes all the elves were dead and Gary only had dirt on his shoulder, which he brushed off in true JZ fashion. Then he got his hat back and Jesus went back to floor 617 to spend more time with the Coleman bitches.

They went towards the machine again, but just before they reached it they were stopped by Santa, who shot Shotgun Dick in the head with a magnum.

"Oh.... fuck."

"Now can we avenge him?"

"I guess...."

Ultraman then fought Santa hand to hand, although Santa had a gun and could have easily shot him. He almost won, but then Santa punched him in the nuts. His power of multiorgasmicness made him vulnerable, like Superman to kryptonite. So Magic Ass Phone Man took over, with Hot BJ Witch magically sucking him off throughout the match. They were perfectly matched, but then Santa went Super Saiyan and defeated him.

Howard Stern, who had once again gone to have sex with Jenna Jameson, this time bringing Gary Coleman, fucking slackers, being gone, only Third Guy was left. He threw down his bar and ripped off his shirt, for no reason but dramatic effect. Of course, he also magically conjured a giant fighting robot, which he then entered.

Super Saiyan Santa and Third Guy in the giant fighting robot fought for two hours until they were both very tired. By then Howard Stern had brought Jenna back, who, with Hot BJ Witch, transmitted their sexual energy to Santa, making him very distracted. Third Guy seized the opportunity and used his psychic power to make Santa's stomach shake like jelly so much he blew up.

Then they all went and started the engine and took over the world. Then they had a victory orgy.

The End.

Give me some PMs, episode two is coming tomorrow.

 

I think I speak for us all when I say what the fuck?

 

I posted this in the joke thread, and I feel like making a series out of it.

Episode Two: You wish that last line were true.

Our triumphant heroes persisted in that orgy until they all passed out. Ultraman, being the most sexually resilient, was the first to wake up. It was he that noticed that the World Domination Engine was peculiarly quiet. In other words, it wasn't doing jack shit.

"Dude, don't even fucking tell me this damn thing doesn't work."

Ultraman then heard some very mystic, sagelike laughter from behind the engine. It woke the others up, except Hot BJ Witch, she was particularly tired.

"Holy shit," said Ultraman, "why the fuck is Yoda here?"

"Yea, I thought you only lived in swamps and shit?"

Yoda looked at them rather sternly.

"A Jedi master I am. Live wherever the fuck I want, can I."

"But aren't you cold blooded, like an alligator or something?"

"You're ass you wish me to kick?"

"Um... no."

"Shut up you then will, continue I will the story."

They all nodded, as Yoda could easily kick all their asses.

"No power bears this machine, you in which lies the power. Here getting the quest proof be of which that you the world can take."

Third Guy wrote this down on a piece of paper and after about a minute of rearranging the words all the guys let out a collective gasp of understanding. Yoda had gotten distracted by something shiny in the meantime.

"Oh, I get it Yoda.... Yoda.... Hey... Yoda, Jesus Christ."

"It you want what do is?"

Blank stares.

"Forget this shit, thanks Yoda. See ya in Episode 3."

"Be will I there."

Our intrepid heroes left for the Howard's chopper and once they were all strapped in, they started to discuss this turn of events. Thankfully, they all stayed optimistic.

"Yo man, this fucking sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"Now how are we going to take over the world?"

"I guess we'll have to work for it like everyone else..."

"Dude, that fucking blows."

"Hey, a lot of fine people have worked to take over the world. Napoleon. Caesar. Genghis. Alex."

"Alex? You mean the Great?"

"No, Tribec you stupid douche. That evil Canadian bastard..."

So they all swore an oath that they would take over the world, even if it meant putting in effort. Hot BJ Witch had woken up and also swore support. Howard agreed to lend his support on the condition that he would get a completely uncensored show on the public access channel. Such was agreed and duly noted and so the Coalition of the New World Domination League for Extraordinarily Mundane Gentlemen was formed. The Coalition, or CNWDLEMG, don't try to say it, it physically hurts, then landed in Bangor, Maine.

After laughing for a few minutes about the fact the name of the town had bang in it, they settled on a plan. They would need to take over several dozen countries individually until they all started falling into line. They would start with the Australia, because they have good beer, and securing that supply ensures many drunken nights of reveling and revealing.

Howard Stern had to go to Las Vegas for the weekend to do some shows, but he left them with a dildo that could inflate up to 75 feet long. Magic Ass Phone Man went inside a shop and came out with an outboard motor. They then set up and built the world's second motorized dildoboat. The first is in museum in Amsterdam, it dates back to the 70s.

After getting all their food and shit they got on the dildoboat and headed to Australia. Along the way Ultraman built a small shack on top of it so they could have a place to sleep, piss, and jack off without worrying about getting a sunburn.

They reached Australia after about two weeks of traveling. That dildo shape is surprisingly aerodynamic; it penetrates through the air like it penetrates... other things.

So they reach Melbourne and all get out. Then they all split up and went out have fun separately, since none of them felt like seeing each other after two straight weeks.

By noon the next day they met at an aussie bar and got ready to take over the country. After a few lap dances and beers they decided that the majority of Australians would be spared.

Third Guy then used his On-Star clearance, which he swiped back in part one, to get the Hummer that Hercules’ wife had down there. It would take three days. So for day one they all got drunk. They decided to ride around town for a bit.

“Hey dude, watch my back.�

Ultraman stepped out of their cab and ran up to a random house with a cherry bomb. He stuffed it in the mailbox and ran back to the cab. It blew up, with a big puff of smoke from whatever was inside. Then a 75 year old man came wobbling out screaming.

“You gosh-darn fucktards! I’ll ban you for this you fucking rapscallions!�

The cad sped away, and they all laughed their asses off. Suddenly they all disappeared.

From somewhere in the gloomy haze:

“Dude, that sucked.�

“Yea, tell me about it.�

“We all need new names now…�

“Does that mean the story needs to start over?�

“Oh, dear god, don’t even joke like that.�

Suddenly, 4 people appeared in the back of a cab in Melbourne. The first guy, who kept looking at the other three and saying inspirational crap, like “Well team, are we ready?�, was named Two-thirds Guy. Then there was this hot girl who kept either sucking off the third guy, named Modem, or shooting pigeons with incantations. Her name was Sabrina. Then there was the last guy, who’s name was Sir Fuckalot. He was just staring out the window looking for hot girls. Of course, in Australia it’s impossible to find them outside of the beach or a bar, so he had little luck.

Then they all went back to their hotel and passed out.

The next day Sabrina went with Shotgun Dick’s credit card, she figured he wouldn’t be using them, and bout some bean bag chairs to throw in the Hummer when they got it. Two-thirds spent the day studying regional maps of Australia. Modem had to follow Sabrina around all day and carry her shit. Sir Fuckalot went down to the beach and sowed enough wild oats to feed a small cavalry division.

On the third day tensions were mounting. Two-thirds and our trusty knight got into a fight over which one would get the love interest.

“Yo, fuck you. I’m the leader, I get the chick. Don’t you watch TV?�

“What fucking show are you watching? If you get Sabrina she’ll just die, like always. When the plucky sidekick gets the girl she stays around.�

“Um, guys I’m already going out with…�

“Shut up honey.�

“Don’t call her honey, she’s ending up with me you dumb shit.�

“Dude, what are you talking about, why is she going to die? Enlighten me fuck face.�

“The main heroes’ chick always dies. It’s one of those motivational devices or some shit like that.�

“Yo, fuck that shit.�

Sabrina and Modem stared at each other while the fight continued.

“Dudes…�

“Modem, shut up, you’re not getting her. And neither is fucking hero boy.�

This escalated into a fist fight very rapidly.

“You boys…�

Suddenly feeling horny Sabrina and Modem started making out on the bed. The rest of the day was spent with Two-Thirds and Sir Fuckalot beating the shit out of each other while Modem hammered Sabrina like a nail on the bed.

Tune in next time for the answers to all your burning questions…
How are they going to take over Australia?
What color are the Hummer’s rims?
Are those two blind, deaf, or just stupid?

 

Yeah, and I actually read it all, that's the sad part.

 

I find this ridiculous story intriguing, and I want to see more.

 

The real sad part is that I already read the first part of it in the joke thread. I better go buy another processor right quick, it's been 5 minutes!

 

That was, suprisingly funny.

 

i'm strangely entranced by your story... i breathlessly await the next installment.

 

This was not so subtle.

Also, huzzah to me for my 6000th post!

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!1111one arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty:arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty:arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty:arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty:arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty: arty:

I actually read it all too, but didn't find myself in there.

<-----I actually have custom avatar so I should be there!

 

You are so screwed. Now you can't edit your post you dipshit.

 

Not only that, but why would you be included in the story? Unless I'm not observant enough, Jarinor is the only forum member with a cameo appearance.

 

Who's included in the story?

 

I was referring to Mathboy, because he asked why he wasn't included in the story. I don't think anyone was, except for Jarinor as the old man who banned the heroes and made them change their names.

 

I just had to write something in my post, to make it not seem totally meaningless.

 

You failed.

Don't worry, just wait until I hit Scandinavia... fyi this post is probably starting about 2 hours before it says, I'm doing chapter 3 now.

I'll be more subtle next time Jar Jar.

*clears throat*


Chapter three: Koalas, Chrome, and the Latter.

They woke early the next morning, mostly because they we’re all still on Eastern Standard Time, and headed outside. Two-thirds and Sir we’re a little slower than normal. They had been fighting until long after both Modem and Sabrina passed out, and they finally called a truce at like 4 in the morning.

They hung out until like 9 am, aussie time, which of course is approximately two weeks in the future Eastern Time. Then they went down to the airport and picked up their Hummer.

“Dude, this is gonna rock.�

After driving it through a few chain link fences they parked near their hotel.

“Ok leader boy, now what.�

“Will you stop calling me boy you prick…? Now, in order to take over Australia we need a tank and an army.�

“Dude, what are we driving again?�

“Oh yea, so one down.�

They were about to get in the car when they heard a crash. Turning around they noticed that the hotel was gone. Godzilla had picked it up and was eating it.

“Isn’t he Japanese?�

“Or Korean or something.�

Godzilla finished eating the hotel when Sir Fuckalot realized something horrible.

“Oh no, that’s horrible!!�

He got into a fighting stance ready to try to take on Godzilla. Everyone followed along.

“Shouldn’t we have done this before it ate all the people?�

“Fuck those aussies, all our beer and money was still in the room.�

“Oh…. motherfucker….�

They all fanned out and came in at Godzilla using a technique Sabrina had scene in the Powerpuff Girls. Surprisingly it took the giant lizard a few minutes before it was able to bitchslap all of them to the ground.

Godzilla was about to step on all of our obviously retarded heroes, when he heard something very peculiar behind him.

“Now ‘ere we can see the rare an’ reclusive Godzilla. She look like she mighty mad right now, I s’pose I shouldn’t jump up on ‘er face an start whacking ‘er with me belt.�

It was Steve Irwin. He then jumped a good 300 vertical feet and whapped Godzilla right in the eye with his belt. Then Godzilla ran away screaming like a giant, scaly bitch.

“As ye can see, she really dint like dat. Ain she a beauty tho’, I almost wish we din ave ta go. See ya next time folks.�

Steve Irwin started waving at the air like there was actually a camera crew anywhere near him.

“So, Two-thirds…�

“Yea Modem.�

“What the fuck just happened?�

“Who fucking knows…?�

They all got up and hobbled over to Steve Irwin. They asked him if he could help them get up north to the outback. He said sure. They all hopped in the Hummer and drove off. Along the way Modem noticed something odd.

“Hey Steve, why are those sheep doing tied to that lamppost?�

“Ach, well mate…�

“Dudes. Don’t go into it. Just don’t.�

Modem shrugged and they all sped on up to a forest north of Melbourne.

“So here we are. Koalas or kangaroos first?�

“Kangaroos, their bigger. They can fuck more things up.�

“Mates, ye go nave a problem dere. All the roos got round up last week by some lady up yond.�

They asked Steve Irwin who she was, but he didn’t know. So they all got back in the car and drove into the outback. Modem called Lionfucker and asked him for directions to any large houses in the outback. Luckily, there is only one house in the outback. They reached it in about 3 hours, during which time, Steve repeatedly had them stop so he could molest some of the smaller local fauna.

When they reached the house they realized almost immediately who they were dealing with. The entire front porch was made from recycled newspaper.

Sabrina had hopped out of the window before they even parked and ran around back.

“There you are you stupid blonde bitch!�

There she stood, facing her arch nemesis, Martha Stewart.

“Who are you again?�

“Sabrina you dumb bitch!�

“Who?�

“Oh yea, Hot BJ Witch used to be my name.�

“Oh! You look different…�

“Shut up god dammit! Why aren’t you in prison?�

“Because I’m famous… duh!�

“Give us the kangaroos!�

“No.�

“Dammit…�

Sabrina turned to the guys confused. Modem mouthed that now she kicks her ass.

“Oh…�

Sabrina leapt into the air and landed on a cloud surfboard she had conjured. Then she rode straight towards Martha. Martha countered with a volley of doily throwing stars. Sabrina jumped over them and landed on the ground about five feet from Martha. Then they just started hauling on each other. The guys, not wanting to get too close, just stood on the sidelines, offering insightful advice like, “Hit her again.�, “Watch out for her nails�, and “Would it hurt if you gave her a purple nurple?�

Eventually Sabrina had to back up.

“Do you surrender you little whore?�

“Hell no. Modem, shotgun.�

Modem ran back to the car and came back with a 12 gauge and tossed it to her.

“Dude, where…?�

“Dude, you really need to read that special features list some time.�

“I know we have an X-box somewhere in there, it might be behind the mini-fridge.�

“And some poor Greek guy who owned a deli had this damn thing?�

“Shut up dickhead, I need to shoot my arch nemesis.�

“Oh, sorry.�

The boys went back to cheering, which this time included references to beating Martha with a spoon and duck taping things. Sabrina shot Martha in the foot, and then started beating her to death with the butt of the shotgun. After that they all went and freed all to free all the kangaroos. Unfortunately the kangaroos were mightily pissed off at humans, having spent the last few weeks with one who thought that a show about confetti placemats was worthy of national syndication.

As they entered the kangaroo pen they all fell into a pit trap and we’re basically stuck.

“Well blimey, I ain ever seen roos do this fore.�

“Dear god Steve, shut up…�

“I guess we’re stuck here until next episode.�

“Surprising lack of sex this time, maybe he’s maturing.�

“Or maybe he’s tired.�

“Well, we cood ave stopped with thoe sheep don by Melbourne, but…�

“Steve. No. Just…. no.�

 

Hold up, heyyyyyyyy
For my niggaz who be actin too bold
Take a, seeaaaaaat
Hope you ready for the next episode
Heyyyeyyyeeyeyyyyeyyyy....

Who's ready for the next episode?

Heyyyeyyyeeyeyyyyeyyyy....

 

What I'm wondering right now is this: Since when did you turn ghetto-ass on me?

 

Blinky, that is a surprisingly good characterisation of Steve Irwin. That guy can piss me off so much, and I would hate his guts if he wasn't actually doing something good for the world at large every once in a while.