The Brick Testament

It's dumbasses like Sigurd who make me want to read the bible so that I can poke holes in their arguments, based on sources from the bible.

Edit: And did you know we share about 50% of the gentic makeup of a banana. Of course, it doesn't really mean much, just that you're not as special you thought you were.

 

Ahh... It seems nothing has changed since I left.

The Brick Testament is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. That guy had way too much time on his hands. But it rules anyway.

Go ahead make my day. That's the same thing C.S. Lewis said and in the process of trying to prove the bible wrong, he converted to Christianity.

 

Don't you know?
William Jennings Bryan told us the earth was created in six days, but not of 24 hours.
Those who can say when he told us this get a point.
Those who can say what character in the wizard of Oz represents WJB, and why gets 50 points.

Those who can give an accurately say what happened on the day of easter without being contradicted by the bible receive aleph-5 points. (aleph system is a measure of size of infinity, and I think there really only is aleph-0 and aleph-1)

 

I'm going away for some tests for week, but will leave you some things ponder. Have fun


How long is god's day?:/

If 100,000,000 human years = 1 God Day, would eveloution fit?:/

If this is so, are humans days numbered?

What happens on the 8th day? :???:

 

This is what kills me. Where, pray tell, does it say that "one week" or "seven days" is equal to our 24 hour days? What's not to say that a day, as used in Genesis wasn't thousands or millions of years?

Oh, and why is everyone busting Sigurd's balls? Shit, he linked us to a page just as a goof, to make us chuckle, now we argue like infants with him on the validity of the Bible.

No one here should expect that their arguments is gonna change the other person's mind. I've seen many a flame war here, and I've yet to see someone reply, "By the powers, you're right! I was a dumbass to have ever believed such!"

Sigurd and Icairus are both intelligent, (in my opinion) valuable members of our little community here. I'd hate to see us lose one or both just because of a difference of opinion. So, debate each other if you will, but let's leave off the insults, mmmkay?

Else I'll ass fuck you all.

 

Yeah, almost everything seems to be an excuse to jump on someone for their beliefs. What a happy community.

How do you like this sig, retard?

 

If the Bible constantly changes the meanings of the measurements of time used, then how the hell are we supposed to take anything in it seriously?

Edit - Thought of this after I posted...

Your argument, Retard, hasn't stopped the Church from taking the words from the Bible literally in the past and present. The whole "do not work on Sunday" thing used to be adhered to pretty seriously, and as far as I know hasn't stopped the various churches around the world repeating the story of Genesis in the whole '7 days of 24 hours' format.

I think I had something else to say (in fact I'm pretty sure I did) but I forgot it as I was writing the above paragraph. Dangnabbit.

 

MC, I'd never convert to Christianity. First of all, because I don't believe in God. Secondly, because if he exists, he's an oppressive asshole. Also, the bible contradicts itself too many times, and like some people have said before, people are too willing to disregard the parts of it that aren't nice.

 

You are falling victim to the same thing a lot of churches are. They are using the Bible as a history book. A holy history book. It's more than that. If you want to scour over dates, and inconsistencies, than you are looking at nothing more than a history book, however accurate it may or may not be or seem.

I regard it as holy writings by men lead by God Almighty, and I profess that I understand very little in the Bible. I have faith that all will be revealed to me in due time, but in the Lord's time, not mine. The Bible serves, for me, as a constant reminder of a Being that is greater than I, and One whose name I should fear. I don't feel the need to pick apart dates and passages of time, looking for a loophole. If you trust that an Almighty God, in His great Wisdom formed this Book, than how can any of it be wrong? By that same token, how can I, a mere mortal, hope to understand one fraction of what is written?

The Bible is just a deeper Word to me than just a glorified history lesson. Which, I'll agree with you, some churches and their members seem to have forgotten, and all they'll due is argue the validity of the Bible, word for word, and fail to take into account, that maybe this part or that part is not for them to understand, or that they don't understand entirely.

 

alot of churches seem to forget that parts of the Bible are meant to be allegories... while i believe the Book was divinely inspired, it was still written by men, thus there's room for error. i think the purpose of the Word is to spread the good news... and you can't take it literally. concentrate on the message, not on how the message was written.

 

If the bible doesn't speak the truth, why chose Christianity over any other religion?

 

*sneeks inside with a huge keg of gasoline*

http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/ ... cies.shtml

*runs of and wait for the fire to catch*

 

If you can't understand the slightest bit of what's being said, and don't think you are ever capable of doing so, then why believe in it? It's like saying "Well, I believe people can fly. I don't know how they can, if they ever have or if they ever will, but I believe in it."

From what you've said, you've just basically latched on to a convenient and popular religion because you believe it's the right, all-American thing to do, not because you actually believe or understand it.

 

I'd like to see you try, you dickless piece of shit. Dark Elf, I'd love to see the "long list of them." If it exists, why don't you link us to it to back up your bullshit arguments? But then again, you are descended from the Vikings, so we can't expect a great deal of intelligence.

And Icairus, I'm itrigued by your apparent rage here. What brought all this on? You already know your flaming attempts are innefective and childish, so why continue? I've never responded well to your nonsense, because your insults have no basis in reality and therefore slide off with ease. Try to pick on one of my weaknesses (if you can find any) if you want to piss me off. I'm more just amused by your sputtering wrath and juvenile use of a Thesaurus. In addition, if you actually had anything meaningful to argue against me, you would have said it, instead of just turning the debate into a useless, one-sided flame war.

 

The guy who wrote A List of Biblical Contradictions could be lying about the Bible, and you wouldn't know, because you haven't read it. It just so happens that the qoutes he gives are from the Bible, but that doesn't make them any more useful. For example:
PSA 145:9 The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.

JER 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.

There is no context for either one of these verses, making them both totally useless as far as proving contradictions. The quotations don't indicate what groups God is talking about here. I'll give them some context:

PSALM 145:8-9 The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, Slow to anger and great in mercy. The LORD is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.

Did you notice "slow to anger?" So obviously God gets angry, but his patience is long. He does have patience with humankind, however, so in general he is "good to all." But that patience does run out, and then shit hits the fan. This is reflected all over the Bible; Sodom & Gommorah is just one example. He waited quite a while to take down the city, and even would have let it survive if there were enough righteous men there (which there weren't). As for the other verse, God is speaking to Jeremiah specifically about the sinful nation of Israel, wich was turning away from God again (you'd think they'd learn eventually), so He was going to punish them. That's what the verse is about, but you'd never know it because Mr. Atheist Scholar didn't say that.

The "empty tomb contradiction" is pretty shitty as well. There's no real contradictions there, just three different apostles mentioning more or less people there. All three mention Maria Magdalena, Matthew and Mark felt it important to mention the other women.
Overall, this guy is taking scripture out of context and then claiming it contradicts. None of the supposed "contradictions" are even important anyway. Who gives a damn whether the father of Joseph was Jacob or Heli, anyway? I have to look into that one more, but I think that it may be the use of two different languages. These men were writing in Aramaic, later translated into Greek, so some names were left in Aramaic and some were translated. That's not so hard to understand.

 

The purpose of the flaming was an add-on to show how innefective and childish debating theology is.
If I had complete, absolute proof that the entire Bible was wrong and self-contradictory, and I posted it here, it wouldn't change anyone's views.

The truth is that the bible does contain some contradictions, although they are all fairly minor. The bible should be viewed as a collection of stories with good moral basis that people should learn from, instead of as the uber-holy book written by god.

Oh, and I haven't used any form of thesaurus in a long time.

 

Okay i have but one question?

As all christians have told me:
God is all good, he created everything, nothing God creates can turn into evil.
Then where does the Evilness come from?

This is a major contradiction right?

Now enough trolling from me.

*Runs over and starts to passionatly spank nobodie with spaghetti*