Stop Uwe Boll

I like the approach I took to the game: Kill Virgil, right off the bat.

 

Well, if we were to do that in-movie, he'd've to be both black and've a humorous death.

 

Geoffry should be played by Tim Curry. Ignore the Rocky Horror Picture Show gay shit, and remember him from the Disney movie "The Three Musketeers." He was damn evil in that movie, and his accent might not be perfect, but I think it'd be suitable.

 

Tim Curry is too old for the role. Pity. He plays a snotty bastard to perfection.

 

Oh yeah, I forgot that Taralond-Ashe just got done with studies and is young.....

Damn.

 

What if we had him played by John Krasinski? He's young looking, and I bet he could do a good job of acting like he's better than everyone else. Also, if we're doing a human male lead, I'm voting for Lewis Black.

 

Ryan Philippe to play Taralond-Ashe.

Look at him in Cruel Intentions and tell him to work on his british accent.

 

I suppose. Then again, Cruel Intentions came out 10 years ago so that would make Phillippe 10 years older than the age I had in mind when suggesting him. A little make-up and latex will do wonders.

 

How can we work Vince Vaughn in?

 

We could use CGI to make him small enough to be the gnome-leader of Tarant... that'd be humourous. Also, I've changed my mind. Lewis Black should be Gilbert Bates.

 

I don't think so. I'm sticking to Patrick Stewart. He has the look AND sound of Bates and comes off as more distinguished than Black.

 

No... Vince Vaughn as the half-orc leading the riots, and Lewis Black as Arronax.

 

Gary Coleman is Tollo Underhill.

He adds two levels of PC to the movie, because he's short and black.
On second thought, I'd never be able to take him seriously because he's such a little douche.


Vince Vaughn could be a great Don Throgg. Either Vince or Dennis Leary, since they both happen to have pretty good angry faces, as well as making sense in a fevered, "I just snorted a big line of coke" kinda way.

Lewis Black could be the original form of Kraka-tur.

 

Have we thought of who would play Capt Teach? Maybe Mel Gibson or Russel Crowe or another rugged Australian actor. I always picture Teach with an Australian accent whenever I come across him in game. Paul Logan maybe?

 

Paul Logan would be pretty good as Teach, but I get the feeling that he may be a bit too old for it.

Russel Crowe has my vote.