Smuel's good morning extravaganza

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Smuel, May 3, 2012.

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  1. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    Oh em gee
    Finally summer is over!!
    I couldn't stand it any longer
    Good morning.
     
  2. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    Today was a bad day
    Almost crushed my feet with a book shelf at work, anxiety attack afterward, then when I was on the bus on my way home not only I was in need of a bathroom but the kid next to me smelled really bad.
    What else could happen in the afternoon?
    Good morning (if it's possible....)
     
  3. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Public Service Announcement: Did you know that if you book a return airplane ticket, and then you don't show up for the outbound flight, the airline automatically cancels the return as well? If you manage to get to your destination by some other means, thinking that you can still use the return part of the ticket, and then you show up to the airport on the return ticket date, they'll be like "Nope, sorry. We've already sold your seat to someone else and are going to keep your money. Sucks to be you."

    Apparently this is entirely legal behaviour and all airlines do it as standard policy. So, if you are going to miss an outbound flight, make sure you contact the airline beforehand and beg and plead with them not to give you a huge middle finger for the return flight too.

    Anyway, I've been away but now I'm back.

    Good morning.
     
  4. Virgils Staff

    Virgils Staff New Member

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    Terrible conduct but I can see the logic. Surely they should make some kind of effort to at least check if you still want the return flight? Airlines are such greedy bastards. My fantastic news is that both of my removal vans have been stolen overnight and as such, my business is likely to close for a while. Just what I'm after at this, very busy time of year.
    Good morning.
     
  5. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    I'm glad you're back Smuel, and I'm sorry for Virgils Staff to hear such bad news.

    Today I'm taking a short vacation, hope everything went allright

    Good morning.
     
  6. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Okay, Virgils Staff wins the "who has it worse right now" competition. Congrats on achieving the lofty heights of suckitude.

    A friend of mine had her phone snatched recently, and the police were like "Eh, they'll have already given it a new identity so it can't be tracked. There is zero chance we'll get it back, sorry." But I expect that it would be more of a challenge to do the equivalent thing with removal vans. Are the police being any help?

    Good morning.
     
  7. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    Brace yourself, Christmas is coming and we haven't yet had Halloween.

    Good morning.
     
  8. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    What's the earliest in the year that you've seen a Christmas themed advert? For me it's... (checks date) 24th October. Ugh.

    Good morning.
     
  9. Virgils Staff

    Virgils Staff New Member

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    The police did nothing originally. They only came out to see me after I emailed suggesting that if I find the people responsible before they did, I would burn them alive in their sleep.

    Good morning.
     
  10. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    Have some respect for Halloween, jeez!

    Regarding the theft, that's brutal. Approved.

    And good night.
     
  11. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    If I've learned anything from RPGs, it's that you get the most XP by solving problems using violence rather than the "talk it out" route, so that fits.

    Good morning.
     
  12. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    Christmas? Humbug. It's keep on coming earlier and earlier. Heck. I even saw last year that someone had already a Christmas tree in their living room in the middle of October. Even worse. My father told me some days ago when we left my home that he saw that some people already decorated their homes. And it is still October.
     
  13. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    So, which of you pervs are doing no-nut November this year?

    Mind you, I gather most of you are married with kids now, so not nutting is the default, right? Hey-yo!

    Good morning.
     
  14. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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  15. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Unbelievable.

    I'm referring to recent world news, not your post, which I didn't really understand.

    Good mo... uh... I guess I can't really say that today.

    Morning everyone.
     
  16. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    Yeah. Its unbelievable. Even worse. People would say that they see it now as the light at the end of the tunnel. Too bad they confused it with an oncoming train. Ready to run them over while they feel safe. Oh well. Humanity is doomed anyway.

    Morning.
     
  17. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Actually, in the cold light of day, it's highly believable.

    Trump successfully pushed a narrative that the Democrats are letting in millions of immigrants, who are raping and committing other crimes and who would also vote Democrat themselves in order to perpetuate the cycle. Drastic action is needed now to stop this from reaching the point of no return, and Trump is the man to do it. The Democrats failed to counter this narrative.

    If you were an ordinary American, worried about immigration, and you saw a video clip of Trump saying "It's a huge problem! They're coming over here and eating the dogs! They're eating the cats!" and then next to him there is Harris, laughing and downplaying it, who would you vote for?

    Still, over the next few months be prepared for a slew of talking heads completely missing the point and droning on about how the US is sexist and racist.

    Good morning.
     
  18. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    -1 day to what I feared it could have happened

    Brace yourself, the shit show is coming....
     
  19. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    I've just come up with a crazy theory, and I want it recorded for posterity. I'm completely serious about this. I know there are probably better ways of going about this than posting it on an obscure gaming forum, but my options are limited, so here we go:

    Migraines are caused because your brain is too big to fit inside your head

    Most of your body is unconstrained. If you do some bicep curls at the gym, blood rushes to your bicep muscle and it expands - fit peeps know this as "getting a pump". If you eat too much, your waistline expands. If you sit in an airplane without moving for a while, your feet swell up. And so on.

    The brain is unique in this aspect, since it is surrounded by a hard shell of fixed size. If your brain tries to expand, the outer membranes get squeezed up against your skull. This is a bad feeling, leading to nausea and a throbbing sensation as if your heartbeat is trying to push your brain out through your eye sockets. Because it is.

    No, seriously, hear me out.

    Let's go over what we know about migraines.

    Fact - women are more prone to migraines than men. On average, women have smaller skulls than men. Women's cognitive capabilities are on a par with men's. Conclusion - all other things being equal, women's brains are stuffed into their skulls more efficiently and therefore with less margin for expansion. Therefore, they are more prone to migraines.

    Fact - migraines decline with age. Brain matter also declines with age. Skull sizes do not decline with age. Conclusion - as you age, your brain shrinks, and there is more room for it to expand under conditions that would otherwise give you a migraine.

    Fact - a migraine feels like your heartbeat is trying to push your brain out through your eye sockets. Conclusion - it feels like this, because that's literally what is happening. Your eyes are famously "the only part of your brain that is visible". Your eye sockets are the only opening in your skull. I can't believe nobody thought of this before.

    Fact - one of the symptoms of increased intracranial pressure is a headache. So, obviously, increasing pressure on your brain can cause headaches. This wouldn't happen if your skull was more like a balloon, since it would just expand. Conclusion - okay, you get the picture.

    Fact - one of the symptoms of high blood pressure is frequent headaches. Need I go on?

    Fact - no, I need not go on, all the evidence supports this bizarre theory.

    Now, just to be clear, I'm not suggesting that when someone has a migraine their brain is literally under pressure, like their head could explode if you pop it with a pin. Under normal conditions, internal skull pressure is probably normal. However, whatever layers of padding lie between the brain and the skull might be thinner, so there is less room for small amounts of expansion. A change in blood sodium levels, that a normal looking brain/skull combo could handle, will be just slightly too much for a migraine-prone brain/skull combo, leading to slight pressure on the brain surface, slight pressure behind the eyes, and a literal headache for the person inhabiting that combo.

    Final fact: I get migraines. My mother often had them when I was a child. I recently asked her if she still gets them, and she said "Oh, no, they stopped after menopause".

    "the postmenopausal period is associated with smaller volumes of brain regions" - Brain volumetric changes in menopausal women and its association with cognitive function: a structured review

    Boom! Fact!


    Anyway, I hope you're all doing well. Also, and I mean this in the best possible way, I hope you all have nice small brains. Because let me tell you, migraines suck.

    Good morning.
     
  20. DarkFool

    DarkFool Nemesis of the Ancients

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    Found out I'm losing my job. So far this has been a wonderful winter. I'm expecting massive flooding, next, since bad things always come in threes.

    Good night.
     
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