Smuel's good morning extravaganza

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Smuel, May 3, 2012.

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  1. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    The Weeknd sucks too.

    Good morning.
     
  2. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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  3. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    *Notices the missing "e"*

    Some Ethiopian rap artist, eh?
     
  4. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that after I swapped my underwear and sock drawer a couple of months ago, I now no longer open the wrong one when looking for underwear or socks.

    Good morning.
     
  5. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    I needed to do lots of cool stuff this summer.

    But.

    Missed one concert because my brother, who said he could have took me there, was ill that evening.
    Missed another one because my friend, who was going to play, couldn't take me with him.
    Missed the beginning of the third one (it was also good) but I couldn't talk to the other friend who was singing that night.
    Missed the forth one because there was no parkings available.
    Was also going to see another friend, who we didn't saw each other in a while, but at the last minute she couldn't make it.

    ***** fuck

    And good morning.
     
  6. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Do you ever get the feeling that other people's lives are much better than yours? I mean, just compare the last two posts.

    Barabbah clearly needs to step his game up in order to get to my level.

    Good morning.
     
  7. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    So, Yuki, what do you think of Mount & Blade II?

    Good morning.
     
  8. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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  9. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    I have a beef with the barista at work. He takes all the large mugs in the morning, and if he runs out of hot chocolate he takes that too, for his little barista station, so he can serve coffee to people. Meanwhile I'm just trying to make some hot chocolate for myself in a large mug. I have to go to one of the other kitchens to get one. And sometimes to get hot chocolate too. Recently one morning the kitchen had run out of milk. But do you know who had enough milk that morning? The barista! Serving coffee in his little barista station! This will not stand!

    One time in the evening after he'd left I went to take back the hot chocolate, and one of the building staff saw me and said "Excuse me! That's for the barista. Put it back please." But it's not! I've seen him take it from the kitchen! I've even started marking the hot chocolate jars so I can track when he takes them, and he definitely takes them!

    Thus, he is now my sworn enemy. And so is the busybody building staff member who interfered with my rightful claim to the spoils of war.

    Good morning.
     
  10. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like society is punishing you for drinking hot chocolate at work like a manchild, and for that I'm grateful that the world is still just.

    You should be drinking Bovril mixed with hot tears like rest of us. Good morning.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2023
  11. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    Time for payback!
    In your place I would plan some villainous revenge plot....
    Good morning
     
  12. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    Also, why I can't see the devil emoji I've added to my previous post?
     
  13. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Probably something to do with the greatest trick the devil ever pulled.

    Good morning.
     
  14. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    So what I heard was:
    And then in response:
    And then after you Beetlejuiced me and I provided further clarifications on my departure, and I had a triumphant, indelible, iridescent return, I hear:
    And so quite crisply I respond:
    And then, and then... I'm fucking ignored. The fucking cheek of it! Smuel, toxic masculinity was the bedrock of this place, and I make an on point joke - in fact you could call it a self-reverential magnum opus given my cry-baby status before - and you just pass it by.

    Well fuck you! I'm looking forward to the 6.0 of this forum where we ceaselessly talk about your ability to make hot chocolate.

    I sometimes wonder, as the great Taylor Swift says, maybe that generally the problem is:

    Me, Hi, I'm the problem it's me.

    I also strongly identify with:

    Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
    And I'm a monster on the hill


    Good morning.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2023
  15. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    The TL-DR of all of this is, in appropriate British parlance:

    You're a bumhole.

    Good morning.
     
  16. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    If it's any consolation, I recently got kicked out of a Slack group for defending Jordan Peterson.

    Good morning.
     
    Jojobobo likes this.
  17. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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  18. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Pfft, you would say that, you... you... bumhole!

    Good morning.
     
  19. Barabbah

    Barabbah Member

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    You.... you.... Nincompoop! (citation for very few)

    Good morning.
     
  20. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    As Wordsworth once said, better to be a bumhole than a gaping bumhole - like you (I believe he was addressing Samuel Taylor Coleridge at the time...).

    You know, people really don't give Wordsworth enough credit. Good morning.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2023
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