Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Smuel, May 3, 2012.
Don't worry, I can ask your mom to remind you.
I never really ruled out the possibility.
I guess we'll all truly never know.
Someone just come and finish this. Once and for all.
Talking of finishing things, I have finally finished that 2kg back of unappetising protein powder, and I'm back on the good stuff, since it was in stock this time.
Yo, Dark Elf, wanna go for a farmer's walk with me?
A clown and a kid are walking in the forest. The kid says the place it's too scary. The clown replies with "you think it's scary now, I'll have to do the way back alone"
So, to sustain a half-effort after years' of neglect, and the most sincerest of ways without making a thing about about it - what's shakin'?
I feel like what really added the genial and informal tone here has the apostrophe on shakin'. I mean, up until that point I think my sincerity was questionable - but it's really the apostrophe which drove it home.
You have a better chance getting a response from a volleyball these days.
Is this your way of telling us that you have kids now?
No, I wouldn't want to have kids while having a mortgage that means I'm kept in jobs which work me into the ground and would prevent me from being at attentive father. So I'm currently at an impasse of no kids, no house and a tiring job that slowly accumulates me more money - but not at a rate that achieves anything useful.
I suspect that most people are in a similar situation, they just go ahead and have the kids anyway.
Plus, from what I've heard, it's rare to actually feel ready. If you want kids, then the best time to have them is right now. Children are very durable and don't require much space, especially at first. The amount of resources that society implies you need to lavish on them is unnecessarily overblown - companies just want you to spend money, and other parents want you to feel like you're not doing enough so that they feel better about themselves. In fact, our ancestors survived as children for generations without much more than bread to eat and sticks to play with, and for all that previous generations had problems, approximately zero of them were a result of "my dad is always tired".
So basically, I don't think it would be a mistake to have children now, if having children is something you want, and either way you have my support*.
* My support consists of endless mockery and derision, and is not redeemable for any cash value.
Happy International Women's Day to all the ladies. Both the ladies and ironically the gentlemen here
I think it's that balance of, given people get ridiculously gouged on childcare early years with a kid (usually £10k+ a year, from multiple people), it being sustainable without having a terrible lifestyle that makes you miserable (and this is coming from me who has never led nor will ever lead a lavish lifestyle in the first place, but I think it's more just a sign of the times with how much it costs to basically exist and not do very much - and like it or not it's money that affords people the opportunity to blow off steam "better" than other people). I appreciate that kids don't die if their dad is always tired, but I guess it's more about what kind of father you would want to be. And I know most people go ahead and have kids anyway, but the majority of 20 or 30-somethings sole purpose in life is to have kids it seems - and I'm not like that.
So for now it will just be more of the burgeoning lack of fulfillment and more existing.
You mean that a little speech I wrote on the internet didn't change someone's mind? I'm shocked. Shocked!
No wait, what is it the kids say these days? I'm shookt.
You remind me of my friend Chris. Fantastic guy, has a wonderful girlfriend, they have a mortgage and even a dog. Yet he refuses to marry her "yet" as work is still his priority. Same goes with having kids with her as they don't want children out of wedlock.
So when? Since I met him he's been promoted 2 times, can basically work his own schedule and has enough free time to play cod and fifa most nights.
I agree with Smuel. If it's something you want, now is the time. Besides, you might be lucky like me. I got married when I was poor and a slight twist of fate, and a blessing from lady luck, I'm now running my own business that I enjoy. Own a house mortgage free and have more than enough time to play divinity original sin and or any other game I see fit at any point. Oh and also I get time with the kids which is nice. And the wife. Which is, good aswell.
Work definitely isn't my priority, however when you've built up credibility in a certain sector there's definitely a barrier to extricating yourself from current work and finding that sweet spot of fulfilling/well-paid/not working overtime all the time (which I am casually trying to do) - particularly if you lack a lot of tangible professional skills. It becomes trapping, because you're more likely to have success in the field you're currently in - and to look elsewhere to other sectors (unless you get very lucky) requires a huge amount of time and effort which you don't currently have because your job is so demanding. I think if I was comfortably in a position to be playing CoD and FIFA most nights I wouldn't have these concerns, as I would by definition have adequate free time.
Literally today there's a BBC news story on how having a kid in full-time nursery costs £15k a year (not the £10k estimate I had), so if you're throwing that on top of a heavy mortgage the amount of money you have to do anything else other than subsist isn't there. Obviously one of you can stop working, but then you're living on ~half your income stream, or they can go down to part time - but they're all a blend of compromise. I guess if I was looking at a redo of life, realistically I'd get into a well paid profession rather than something which superficially feels more vocational where the balance (of pay vs. free time vs. fulfillment) isn't there.
Honestly I find the commonly held opinion out there to be strange - that the norm is to dump some kids out and figure it out after the fact. There's nothing wrong with making things a bit conditional, so you feel like you're in a position to best care for them rather than struggle.
Likely I will pull the trigger on a house soon, but some of my savings are invested so there's a balance of waiting until that situation is settled (for better, or for worse) in which case I may be in a position to buy a house mortgage free and dial my job down to something more reasonable - or just pull my money out sooner and buy a house now with a big mortgage/go for a smaller house. Arbitrarily I could put a timer on what I'm doing - "if I don't get my investment back by X, then I will pull it out and move forward with life anyway" - but doing things arbitrarily IMO is a recipe for poor outcomes (if that isn't coming across already). So, until then it's the same holding pattern.
TBH, if the world ran in such a way that having a moderately alright existence wasn't such a chore I wouldn't have invested money in the first place - as I would have just been able to buy a house with an okay mortgage without being worked into the ground. But that's not how the world works, so that 'rational' response (for me at least) becomes to risk money on an investment because I have nothing to lose relative to my current lifestyle - i.e. if I hadn't had invested money I would have bought a slightly bigger house with a mortgage, whereas if I lose money I'm still buying a house with a mortgage (I never have been particularly picky where I live, so these situations are effectively equivalent to me).
Perhaps I'm just greedy, entitled and have unrealistic expectations of life - but in equal measure it's surprising that shit is always so hard all the time (and not in a good way). The other quite real side of things is I have little or no time or motivation to keep in shape (I was in relatively okay shape pre-pandemic, so I do have the capacity to get there under normal circumstances), so with the job and the creeping poor health if I stay like this definitely something like a heart attack isn't out of the realms of possibility in 10 years or so.
So my analysis of modern living is - it sucks (even if it is the best time to be alive compared to all of the rest of history). Clearly, I've grown cheerier in my absence from this place.
Your friend Chris, eh? I can't tell if that's a forum history Easter Egg or not...
You should never do this.
Well, okay, not never, but if you have any income at all you're better off getting a mortgage and using the income to pay it off, compared to not having a mortgage. The reason is that property prices always go up, while the mortgage stays the same. Even if the property itself doesn't increase in value, inflation will cause the numerical value to increase, while the numerical value of the mortgage stays the same.
You buy a $100k house using $100k, and after 10 years prices have doubled. Now you own a $200k house.
You buy a $200k house using $100k of money and $100k of mortgage. 10 years later prices have doubled. Now you own a $400k house - still with a $100k mortgage.
If at this point you sell the house, in Scenario 1 you walk away with $200k, while in Scenario 2 you get $300k net. So you've made an extra $100k by basically doing nothing.
Alternatively, you don't sell, just keep living there. In Scenario 1 you've been living for 10 years in a nice house, but in Scenario 2 you're living in a house that costs twice as much. It may not be twice as good, but it will certainly be better.
"But Smuel, what if there's a housing crash?"
Sure, let's say that prices halve instead of doubling. In the first scenario you own a $50k house outright, and in the second one you own a $100k house with a $100k mortgage. You're worse off if you sell in the second scenario, but you can just... not do that, and wait for prices to recover, which historically they always have. The chances of you buying somewhere that drops in value and then never recovers are pretty slim. And this isn't even taking inflation into account.
"But Smuel, if I don't have to pay the mortgage, I can invest the money in other investments. Maybe I'll even make more than $100k!"
Sure, if you're Warren Buffet, I might buy this argument. But you're not Warren Buffet. Also, you're not investing $100k in stocks and waiting 10 years, because at the beginning of both scenarios you're putting all your money into the house. So after the first year in Scenario 1 you only have a year's worth of unspent mortgage payments to invest. In these scenarios that's only ~$6k. And you're not going to turn $6k per year into more than $100k in 10 years.
"But Smuel, I like not having to worry about mortgage payments."
I can't argue with this one. If it's your true objection, then more power to you. Go and live your relaxed lifestyle with my blessing. But from a strict financial perspective, you should always aim to have a mortgage of some description, at least until you retire. It's the most cost effective way to grow wealth.
Good morning, and prosper.
Thanks for the advice, I'll take in into consideration. I guess I'm not looking to grow my wealth massively long term, just get myself into a position which is more sustainable in the near term - which not worrying about mortgage payments or rent while having a lower paying/part time job would achieve (if I could get the money to get a house outright), but I do appreciate the point on inflation-proofing investments in property. I think it's more around cutting overheads that I'm keen on rather than maximising wealth generally (so I can get by on less and more easily).
Probably the better solution is "find a better job", so I should probably stop wallowing and just do that (and then likely follow the advice you've mentioned around mortgages). Either that or hope the current job improves (I did change jobs since I was last here, but it's the same organisation), but there's several issues with it which currently feel irreconcilable so I can't see it balancing out to where I would want it to be in the near term.
Just throwing it out there, I love my kids and I wouldn't be without them for any reason. But generally speaking if you haven't experienced the beautiful moments that occur between you and them, you don't really know what your missing. And that's not really a bad thing. I don't miss being a millionaire because I've never been one.
The only honest advise I could give, for what it's worth, which is probably nothing, just try to do what makes you happy. But maybe lay off KFC.
Recently my brother died and the ever present doomsday clock in my head has been ticking louder and louder as time goes by. So Jan 1st this year I was 295 pounds at 5 ft 10 aged 34. Not exactly a healthy individual. That day I quit smoking tobacco and weed, drinking, occasional recreational drug use, gambling and have been eating very healthy food whilst drinking 3 litres of water a day.I'm down to 260 pounds now. Work helps as I run a removal company so it's quite physical. Why did I make this about me? Sorry.
Good luck with your problems.
Thanks, you too - though it sounds like you've got most things how you like them anyway. Sorry to hear about your brother.
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