Smuel's good morning extravaganza

If a slightly improved intention to set a date is congratulations-worthy then I'll take it!

Good morning.

 

This did not provide the rich vein of mockability that I was hoping for.

Pfft, stupid gamers having their dumb personal shit together.

Good morning, noobs.

 

First of all, congrats Jungle Japs and Jojobo (or good luck?) with getting married. Secondly. Today I have seen the bands Queensrÿche and Testament live and it was glorious!

Good morning!

 

I did see a good Jeffrey Epstein joke on Reddit earlier:

If you're surprised that Jeffrey Epstein killed himself last week...

Just imagine how surprised he must have been.

Good morning!

 

I was just in the kitchen at work and some guy came up to me and said, in a foreign accent, "Are you German?" and I was like, "No", because I'm not, and then he said "You look exactly like someone I was at school with."

Brexit can't happen soon enough if you ask me.

Good morning.

 

Well I do like cool sounds.

I'm in, let's remain. As I have it on good authority that this forum is at the cutting edge of UK political punditry, watched closely by MPs to decide the fate of the country, I expect this to be enacted forthwith.

Good morning.

 

Dark Elf brings all the boys to the yard.

Good morning.

 

Well as the only people who have been milkshaked are wankers, I will take that as a compliment.

Good day sir! And, good morning.

 

Today on Fun Stories From Smuel's Workplace...

I had just got to work at around 08:45, and made a cup of hot chocolate for myself in the kitchen. I was walking back towards my desk heading towards a door, when a man hurried past me, reaching the door just before I did. At the moment he reached the door, a woman approached it from the other side (it's a glass door, so you can see who is coming). She opened it, and they started having a conversation right in the doorway.

So I waited for a few seconds, because clearly they were in a hurry over something, and I'm not an asshole. (Or am I? Stay tuned...)

Eventually I had enough, and pushed between them. I mean, not making contact, but encroaching on their personal space until they moved apart. I had just successfully got past them when they finished their conversation, and the woman headed in the direction of the kitchen, while the man carried on hurrying in the same direction as me.

However, just after the door, the corridor splits. I took the right-angled direction, while the man went in the straight-ahead direction. And of course because he was turning around from talking to the woman, he didn't know I was doing that and bumped into me, causing me to spill some of my hot chocolate.

Now, I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, and Monday morning at 08:45 is not exactly my least grumpy time of day, so I didn't feel like interacting with this person. So this is what happened next:

Me: <sigh>
Him: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Me: <silence, walking away>
Him: Well, have a nice day.
Me: <silence, walking away>
Him: Asshole!

Then, having put the remaining cup of hot chocolate on my desk, I went and got some paper towels and cleaned up the spillage.

Anyway, I thought it was quite funny how quickly he went from "I should apologise" to "No, this other guy is the asshole!"

Good morning.

 

I usually avoid conflict, but I'm not shy about letting people know when they're congesting a through way. It's rude, and it's unsafe.

 

<Joins the army, travels to a warzone>
<Comes home and plans to get married>
<Posts on a board that's exclusively trolls trolling each other>
"I usually avoid conflict"

Hmm...

Good morning.

 

The UK Government, stooping ever lower.

What annoys me is Leave voters, with all their lofty idealism around sovereignty and democracy, are almost sure to use a false equivalency along the lines of, "The UK Government is a democracy, and proroguing Parliament is constitutionally legal, therefore proroguing Parliament is democratic." It's fucking not.

Overall it's a bad morning. I tried to say good morning, but sometimes you've got to face facts and admit it's just a bad morning.