Smuel's good morning extravaganza

The vulgar limerick is within factory parameters.

I've read worse in the archives.

Good morning.

p.s., NO URS

 

Haha, smuel has diabetes!

Nah, I'm just joshing. But you're for sure going to have kidney stones. Drink some water bruh.

 

The thing is, I don't really like the taste of water.

I am not joshing.

Good morning.

 

That's... absurd.

It's water. It's not supposed to taste and, if it did, your enjoyment of the flavour would still be completely irrelevant.

If you won't drink water than at least hydrate via enema bruh.

Good morning.

 

Hah.

Yes, I've been expecting some push-back on this one, and so I've been thinking about exactly what it is that I don't like about water. I've decided that specifically it's the mouthfeel, rather than the taste itself. Though it's difficult to disentangle the two, so I could be wrong.

Either way, there's definitely something about the sensation that I don't like. Hot water is worse. I can drink cold water without too much fuss, but the warmer it is the more I have to force myself to do it.

For me, milk is the neutral drink. Obviously it has a taste, and that taste also varies from country to country, but it's what I would always choose to drink if I had the choice (sadly I rarely have that option anywhere except in my own kitchen), being pleasantly refreshing while also inoffensive. Any flavoured milk-based drink is then in the "nice" category, e.g. hot chocolate, latte, milkshake. Any non-milk based drink is in the "I have to hydrate myself and I suppose this will do" category, although fruit juice is preferable to plain water. Soy milk and its brethren are pretty good, though I'd prefer the bovine kind.

Not sure where "it's not supposed to taste" comes from though. It's a substance, and the receptors in my mouth can react to the presence of that substance. Why shouldn't it have a taste?

Good morning.

 

I never realised there was any other way to hydrate.

Good morning!

 

Think I might be in agreement with you there. Also, on the varying taste thing, the fucking milk in the US is sweet. Not sweet as in good; but sweet as in sugar. Or probably corn syrup come to think of it.

 

You're the first person over the age of 12 who I've ever had agree with me that milk is great. And since I never talk to children, that makes you the first person ever.

I honestly don't understand why the rest of the adult world treats milk like a child's drink. Does everyone else lose their taste for it somehow? Or is it just one of those things where everyone pretends they've grown out of it because everyone else is pretending they've grown out of it, but if it somehow became socially acceptable they'd all be like "Fuck yeah, milk!"

They do add vitamin D to their milk in the US, so I wouldn't put it past them to sneak in other stuff while they're at it. I don't remember it being sweet in particular, I thought it tasted like it had a higher fat content, but taste isn't one of my better senses. Given that the taste varies in other countries too, I'm not convinced that it isn't just general regional variation in either grass or cow or both.

Actually, I suspect that there is a lower percentage of grass-fed cattle in the US. I bet they feed them left-overs from industrial grain processing instead or something.

(Checks Wikipedia)

Huh, well I didn't really get any hard numbers from that. The US does have a pasture based diet for a lot of cattle, or for most cattle at various stages in their lifecycle or something. Rather than investigate further I'll fall back to the "regional variation" theory and call it a day.

Or rather a morning.

A good morning.

 

Well Smuel I'm joining your little wagon too. I only drink plain water if I really need to drink something and I've nothing else and anyone who tells me water doesn't taste anything can go and drink from my town's river.
Milk is so much better. It taste better, it gives me that damn water for hydration plus other goodies which are good for me! It's also a great drink if you're eating something spicy.

Think one reason why many don't drink it as adults and sees it as a "child's drink" is either because; a lot of people are lactose intolerant. Or sensitive towards it to some degree. But I may also be biased being a scandinavian and we do drink milk a lot.

 

I love the milk, but the milk don't love me. Or rather, the lactose. I haven't had real ice cream in like 4 years, which is really heart breaking given my intense love for the stuff.

Water does have flavor, and some of it is pretty disgusting. But it is also vital and life-sustaining, so find a source that tastes okay or suffer the consequences.

Also, welcome to the HoL Ilaria. I would admonish you to follow the rules, but I don't know that we have rules anymore. So, I guess just follow your heart.

 

I think milk has real life version of Extreme Personality background. Or bodies either hates it, or loves it.

Or drink or eat something which contains it. Me I go with milk or tea. Tea is pretty much 99% water anyways, the last 1% is leaf/plant juice.

Thank you sir-of-questionable-knight-profile-picture. I shall ignore your advice and follow my brain instead, it's usually the wiser choice of the two. Not always, but...Usually.

 

I usually go a milkshake over a coffee. Always funny seeing a bunch of cops with a coffee in one hand and then the one guy with a milkshake instead.

 

Eventually you may realise that while tastes vary, it is universally true that noone gives a shit about your daily struggle against self-induced dehydration.

Nor the mouthfeel, nor the health affects, nor the flavour, nor the popularity of your favorite beverage.

Except your mother when you're a toddler.

I mean, obviously there's an element of infantile reversion in these grown-ups craving the mouthfeel of milk, and it supports a diagnosis of narcissism when you frame such a banal preference in such precious tones.

To be clear, I get it, but it's still dumb.

Good morning.

 

Christ, I've started a movement. What do we want? Milk for adults! When do we want it? With meals and also at other ad hoc times during the day!

This kind of backs up my suspicion that loads of people like milk, but that then the likes of ytzk come along and spoil the party by going "Haha, only children like milk! I'm therefore better than you because I don't drink milk any more, I only consume fine wines from the south of France and sparkling water drawn from the foothills of the Himalayas, like a normal sophisticated adult." So then everyone plays along and looks at you weird if you ask for a glass of milk when you're in a restaurant.

I don't think lactose intolerance can explain it. That's pretty rare in the west, and it's perfectly normal to have a bowl of milk and cereal for breakfast, not to mention the general popularity of ice cream, lattes, hot chocolate, milkshakes, and a whole host of other milk-derived products. You're just not allowed to drink it neat, unless there's also a plate of cookies in the vicinity, so you can claim you're being momentarily nostalgic for your childhood when ytzk inevitably casts his beady eye upon you.

So have a cookie and calm down, old bean. And maybe try some milk - civilization won't end just because you stop being pretentious for a moment.

Good morning.

 

To get to the other side?

Good morning.

 

You still don't get it.

It's not that I care, it's that I don't. I drink milk, abhor tepid tapwater and default onto too much coffee as well. But, you know, I'm not complaining.

I don't care if you suck your thumb or wear a diaper for fun, old chap, or only drink warm heartsblood from atop a mountain of your enemies.

Bitching about it makes you childish, and the fact that - yeah - it's infantile, is just a happy coincidence.

I BID YOU GOOD MORNING.

 

Right, but why do people like you think it is infantile? I mean, aside from the obvious answer that infants drink milk. Perhaps it would be infantile if I wanted to suckle the milk directly from a lactating woman, but I prefer to take advantage of the massive industrialised process that we've engineered specifically to produce vast quantities of cow's milk to consume. There doesn't seem to be anything infantile about that to me.

Good morning.

 

Yeah, obviously, right? No need to think any harder about that.

 

Be. Cause. Milk. Is. For. Infants. Bio. Logic. Ally. Bitches.