Ranking

Not true...but you do have to be at least a charismatic nice guy, which I, unfortunately, am not.

I also have a reputation as King of the Bastards from certain people...which I'm kind of confused about...

 

Are you kidding chicks dig guys who damage their self esteem. It's called dependence syndrome or something. Are you even a nice guy?

 

I'm a nice guy. I rarely get the chance to show it.

And by that, I mean I'm too shy and self-conscious for my true personality to come out. Let me tell you, that's incredibly frustrating and incredibly depressing.

 

Jar: Checking. All I see now is spam.... and that fucker has nearly 2000 posts .

Sigurd: I don't feel too proud of being compared to someone who singlehandedly filled half of the Vault but that's the kindest thing I've seen you say in the several weeks I've been here so I take it as a compliment.
As for the dictionary, after you learn five languages and forget at least one of them, only then you could bitch about my grammar, bitch.

Twilight'sHammer: I'd flame you if it wasn't too easy.

Settler: Thanks.


And yes, I am very rarely offended. In fact, the only thing which could offend me is genuine stupidity which I haven't seen for a rather long time (if you want to know what I mean, go to www.somethingawful.com ).

 

hey Matt, since light travels faster than sound, is that why you appear bright until we hear you speak?

 

I'm sure I've read more hypocritical things in my life before, but I can't remember them right now. This would be in the top 10 though, so well done for that Matt.

I happen to be quite the fan of Something Awful, so if you're saying what I think you're saying (that you hate SA) well, apparently everyone is allowed their own opinion but that won't stop me thinking yours still blows and you had your sense of humour surgically excised as a child.

 

No, I meant I love SA. I mean that to see some REAL stupidity, check SA's Weekend Web.

The only article I don't like on SA is the article about Tool, yet there are bits of truth there.

 

I personally think that you and Wolf could have a beautiful relationship on this forum: the two juvenile assholes that everyone loves to hate.

Really? I'm actually pretty sure I can say whatever the fuck I want about your grammar with only my exquisite mastery of the English language at my command. And your superior "I read books and you read TV guide" attitude just invites criticism of your own poor English skills. Pull the log out of your own eye before pointing out the splinter in another's, especially when you know fuck-all about that person and his reading ability.

Do it anyway. And I think you meant weren't too easy.

You could swear at me in thirty languages, and it wouldn't make you the least bit more effective. The blood you share with Wolf is beginning to show. I had thought better of you.

 

Where is Wolf now? Haven't seen him for a while.

 

Ah, that is more than okay then. Weekend Web is great, but I'd say State Og is my favourite feature. Cliff would be, but his site isn't updated anymore.

 

Jar: I liked Comedy Goldmine with the UPS poster .

Sigurd:
Why should I flame Twilight's Hammer if I have a nice, arrogant know-it-fucking-all?
Let's say that if my dog had a face like yours, I'd shave his ass and teach him walk backwards. You say you could've done better than Icarius yet all you can do is bloat about your "exquisite mastery of the English language".
Your imagination is as limited as your brain, which is flat like tundra. Calling you a 'retard' would be a terrible insult to all the retards in the world. You are so weak that you could've never fought your way out of a wet paper bag. In fact, even at this exact moment I feel that flaming you is like kicking a small puppy. Nevertheless, I should give you a lesson you should've gotten in your youth. You weren't trashed enough at home, I suppose?

Admit it, you have no guts to reply. You have just enough guts to wrap them arround your index finger and run home cry to mom.

You should get out more often. I was told that staying at home all day makes one dumb and angry. I presume you never went outside the rest of your life? Can you still go trough the doorway or you need to 'renovate' the house? If you go to a movie theatre, do you need to order a row or to isolate the whole room? Did you know that because you live in the USA, the average american IQ dropped by 124 points and the average male weight increased by 10283 pounds?
I opened a dictionary to look for your name and found it under the picture of a cunt.

Go on, try and bite me. You have no teeth. I bet you'll try to check this post for spelling mistakes. Admit it, you are a failure.

 

Quite possibly because Matt is a sensitive little bitch who likes the cock, long hard and thick. Which would make you a perfect partner, except long hard and thick can only apply to your spine.

That would be convenient, because he could then walk his asshole right into your cock when you call him. Of course, such an encounter would be akin to tossing a sausage down a hallway.

You mention spelling errors (or the lack thereof) later in this post. Yet you misspell Icairus, a word that could be checked simply by scrolling down on the Topic Review.

Well, there goes your first brilliant theory. As for the "run home cry to mom (which, unsurprisingly, is another beautiful peace of grammatical ignorance)" bit, that would be a rather effective tactic, since my mom could bitch-slap you with one hand while making dinner with the other. But she's a busy woman, so I won't make her go the trouble. Speaking of mothers, how is yours doing? Has she recovered from that night I took turns gang-raping her with the help of my gay black friend and my castrated horse? I must say I couldn't imagine that she would be that tight, having been worked over so many times, but then again I also had a hard time understanding the small dick that seems to run so strongly in your family. What a time that was!

I believe I already pointed the spelling error out, Russiky. Now, how does it feel to be a native of the country that failed at a governmental-economical system that even the Chinks are still succeeding at? Mongoloids: 1, dick-sucking Muscovites 0. No wonder you left, who could stand to stay in such a place? But, being a babbling simp, an utter moron, you decided to move to a great country like...Canada? What a great decision! Have fun living with the worst drivers on the face of the planet, brain-dead hockey fans with three teeth each, liquor-guzzling red trash, and Islamic terrorists. It was probably the encroaching socialism that drew your bright red, freedom-hating soul to the Great White North.

What's next? Some more clever quotes from Terry Pratchett, or perhaps another claim of your superior wit and intelligence? Next time you should try such mind-numbing drivel on an easier target, e.g. a deaf-mute Downs child.

 

Gang-banging would have been better. That would imply complicity on her part.

 

What do I have here? Hmm...let's see...a great big Fuck-You for Jarinor!

 

Your mama's gotta wooden leg with a kickstand.

I just masturbated.

Is that spam?

 

Didn't your mom tell you "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything?". Probably not, otherwise you wouldn't say anything at all. There are two kinds of people in this world: smart ones and dumb ones. You, though, are even too dumb to decide. It's like you got fucked in the ear and your brain leaked from your nose. If anybody plays tam-tam on your head, I know I'll hear it up here in Canada.

Tell me, how is it to be a fatass, retard yankee? I mean, fuck this: half of the population is eating their hearts off in McDonalds whereas the other half has enough grease to feed China for ten years.
Do you roll yourself or you need somebody to kick you? If the latter, call me, I'll be happy to help. You are one cock-sucking, shit-eating, piss drinking, bastard son of a five-legged shemale. Heard the song "Missing Time" by MDFMK? "What I don't know will never hurt me"? You must be invulnerable according to it.

How can you write if you have a chicken bone for imagination and a dog biscuit for skill, grammar-whore?
Oh! I get it! Aren't you one of those ancient Microsoft Office Assistant AI which turned out to be a disaster?
You are beyond any professional help so seek a dark alley, somewhere in Brooklyn, where a kind band of cut-throats would gladly dispose of your pitful self for the mere sum of everything you have in your pockets.

 

The funny thing is, the most offensive thing in the above post was calling retard a Yankee. Bad, bad move.

 

why do i get the feeling death has never partaken of a flame war?

 

Maybe because it's true?
I mean I flamed someone here and there but it never grew into a flame war.

And what I said above relates to Sigurd and not Retard.

 

be careful with the use of the word retard. you can't really use it as an insult here, unless you add an -ed to the end.