Quotes and sayingS

Ok i know im not supposed to post any new topics but im bored and thought that just one wouldnt hurt.

Anyway, post any Cool quotes or sayings you have come up with.
"A Real Genious Would Post All About Chuck the Lame Shit Norris"

Ill make the first one so you dont all feel shy
This aint a quote or saying its a pug gag i came up with. but you get the picture...

Three blokes go into a pub. Well, I say three; could have been four or five. Could have been nine or ten, doesn't matter. Could have been fifteen, twenty - fifty. Round it up. Hundred. Let's go mad, eh - two-fifty. Tell you what, double it up - five hundred. Thousand! Oh, I've gone mad! Two thousand! Five thousand! (adopting auctioneer persona) anyone five thousand, six thou, six thousand, ten thousand! Small town in Hertfordshire goes into a pub! Fifteen thousand blokes! Alright, let's go - population of Rotterdam. The Hague. Whole of Northern Holland. Mainland U.K. Let's go all the way to the top - Europe, alright? Whole of Europe goes - I say Europe. Could be Eurasia. Not the band, obviously, that's just two of them. Alright, continents - North America! Plus South America! Plus Antartica - that's just eight blokes in a weather station. Not a good example. Alright, make it a lot simpler, all the blokes on the planet go into the pub, right? And the first bloke goes up to the bar and he says "I'll get these in." What an idiot!

Yep... Thats about as good as i get pub gag wise...

 

I thought that was pretty funny actually.