Poetry

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blinky969, Mar 6, 2008.

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  1. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Some of you have requested it, and I want to back some of it up in case of a hard drive issue. *knocks on wood*

    Here's the first one:
    Beautiful Knight
    (The numbers are syllable counts, it's a work in progress)
    My head sometimes is splitting, - 7
    It almost splits in two, - 6
    Most often when I think, - 6
    For I often think of you, - 7

    My love and yet my comrade, - 7
    My backup for this fight, - 6
    That we are both like soldiers, - 7
    Makes me much less a knight. - 6

    Were you a simple princess, - 7
    Locked tight in tower high, - 6
    And were there twenty dragons, - 7
    Raging cross the sky, - 5

    I would not know a fear, - 6
    As I charged to where you were, - 7
    And battled back whatever - 7
    Dared try my path deter, - 6

    They’d rain their fires downwards, - 7
    Yet I would not move an inch, - 7
    Except to fight on further, - 7
    For none could force me flinch, - 6

    I’d storm right up the tower, - 7
    And rescue thee from there, - 6
    Then thunder through the doorway, - 6
    And safe home we would tear, - 6

    No drake could ever hold me, - 7
    If ever you did need, - 6
    A knight to stand beside you - 7
    With sword and shield and steed. - 6

    Yet you are not a princess, - 7
    And you’d kill me if you knew, - 7
    That private in my mind - 6
    That’s how I think of you, - 6

    You carry quite a sword, - 6
    As deadly as my own, - 6
    And standing fast beside me, - 7
    Fear rips me to the bone, - 6


    We battle both together, - 7
    Souls blazing fires bright, - 6
    To drive the darkness further, - 7
    And turn sad nights to light, - 6

    Yet in my heart I love you, - 7
    And fear does strike me cold, - 6
    That my precious sweetheart, - 6
    Is like me just as bold, - 6

    And set to stand for right-ness, - 7
    Unto her very death; - 6
    A thought I cannot process; - 7
    It steals away my breath, - 6

    And so my mind bends forward, - 7
    And back and side to side, - 6
    Twisting in tight circles, - 6
    That may never subside. - 6

    An irony existing, - 7
    In everything I say, - 6
    That even though it scares me, - 7
    It ‘tis the only way, - 6

    For if you were a princess, - 6
    And fled from battles fierce, - 6
    I would have never known you; - 7
    You’d not my heart so pierce, - 6

    I would not know your courage, - 7
    Or even think it true, - 6
    A girl could so much valor, - 8
    Nat’rally accrue, - 5

    The heart of a lover, - 6
    Mixed with a child, - 4
    With a dash of a soldier’s - 7
    At those times you get riled. - 6

    How I wish in some way, - 6
    That you’d call a retreat - 6
    Lay down your blade, - 4
    Leave them me to defeat, - 6


    Because you know that they wouldn’t, - 8
    You know I won’t fall, - 5
    But that I’m in terror, - 6
    Knowing you’re in this squall, - 6

    Yet I know that you’d stop, - 6
    No sooner than I, - 5
    No sooner than pigs - 5
    Do stand up and fly, - 5

    No sooner than that - 5
    Which we fight for is won; - 6
    We fight for the right - 5
    And we’ll fight til its done. - 6

    And so speak me a word, - 6
    Calm these foolish of fears, - 6
    For well do I know - 5
    We’ll not fall to their spears, - 6

    For we both fight for justice, - 7
    We both fight for belief, - 6
    And we’re bolstered by love, - 6
    Which provides our relief. - 6

    All the blows that could rain, - 6
    From our terrible foe, - 6
    Are paid back with int-rest, - 6
    By our swords, quid pro quo, - 6

    So speak me a word, - 5
    And let my mind rested be, - 7
    For falter I won’t, - 5
    With you beside me. - 6

    ------------
    I don't forsee ever telling you who that's dedicated to. :)
    The second is far less sappy, a little more my typical style.
    ------------
    Beer Cans
    Bud cans are red,
    Naties are blue,
    But neither hits me,
    Quite like you.
    Drunk off a vision,
    Of you looking fair,
    Intoxicating,
    From your feet to your hair,
    You’re cool and refreshing,
    Like the greatest of drink,
    So shoot me a smile,
    Maybe a wink,
    Some method confirming
    That you’re set to get drunk,
    Set to get soused up
    With me in ma bunk,
    I’ve been a little bit tipsy,
    Just from being around you,
    And if you were a beer, girl,
    You be damn sure I’d pound you.
     
  2. wobbler

    wobbler Well-Known Member

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    Quite good acutally.
    mezza likes?
     
  3. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    If it weren't for this stanza:

    ... my sluggish analytical skills would have immediately jumped at the conclusion that the poem was about a gay dude expressing his forbidden love for one of his friends, lamenting the hardships of breaking convention (saving princesses being more socially acceptable than for a soldier to fall in love with his comrade etc), ... why does everything I think of always end up being so gay?

    And the second poem rocks. Reminds me of the one I wrote concerning viagra in 8th or 9th grade.
     
  4. GrimmHatter

    GrimmHatter Active Member

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    Great poem. A possible epic maybe?
    The second one is more to my liking just because of the topic.

    I'm confused why this line is 8 syllables. I'm counting 7.
     
  5. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    You know what it is, I think I edited that line and forgot to change the syllable count.

    I like number 1 as a piece, but I think I could make it flow better. I'll be putting more up here as a means of getto-backing up my computer.

    EDIT: In fact, you guys might like this one. It's called Busted, and it's about a boy and a girl.

    Busted

    I swear I didn’t mean it,
    I just didn’t think,
    You know what I get like,
    Nine-thirds through a drink.

    She’s no one important,
    We just met at the bar,
    We barely got started’
    It didn’t go very far,

    So please, please my baby,
    Just try to calm down,
    And don’t key up my car,
    It’s the newest in town,

    Oh now don’t throw that out,
    It’s the pictures of us,
    Just calm down sweetheart,
    Stop making a fuss,

    I told you I’m sorry,
    I said that already,
    Now don’t act naïve,
    I saw you with Eddie,

    Hey, you brought it up,
    Don’t give me that lip,
    I said shut the hell up,
    Now it’s my turn the flip,

    Stop acting upset,
    Bitch, it’s my turn to yell!
    Oh, shit, baby don’t!
    Don’t go through my cell,

    No, no, I can explain,
    She works at the mall,
    I was finding a present,
    For you (quick, just try to stall),

    Oh, that’s her home phone,
    I had hardly a clue,
    Of course I didn’t call her,
    Cuz I only need you,


    I never called her,
    Just wrote down the thing
    In case I needed help,
    Buying your… ring.

    No! That’s not what I meant,
    (Dude, man, back up, back up)
    No, I would, I just mean,
    Yes! No! (fucking schlup).

    I just don’t want to rush it,
    I mean we’re only nineteen,
    Aren’t we happy like this?
    What the fuck does that mean?

    And who the fuck’s Julie?
    (How drunk was I last night?)
    That’s so totally wrong!
    (Fuck, she’s so right.)

    Baby, just listen,
    I don’t know how to lie,
    Not to you honey, honest,
    Fuck, I hate when you cry,

    Just trust me on this one,
    It’s all misunderstood,
    I don’t wanna lose you,
    We’re just too good,

    That’s right, calm down,
    Let’s all be rational,
    There’s no reason to blow this,
    From state-wide to national,

    I got drunk and got reckless,
    But that’s all in the past,
    That trick didn’t mean anything,
    Becky, we’re going to last. 

    (Oh fuck, wrong name!)
    (Backpedel, man, faster)
    (You know that she’s bi,)
    (You should have just asked her)


    No baby, don’t do this,
    No, I’m better off dead…
    Well I guess that that’s it then.
    (You’re so not getting head.) 
     
  6. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I might like it. If it wasn't poetry. And I actually bothered to read it.
     
  7. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Only readable for about a third of our active members but here I go:

    Konstiga tider vi lever i
    Folk flänger runt och står i
    Prestationsångest som aldrig förr
    Springer till apotekets dörr
    Köper tabletter i desperation
    För att dom inte kan få erektion

    And that folks, was pretty much my poetic peak.
     
  8. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    'erektion' is truly universal.

    Come on Japes, give it a shot, I guarantee it's not as bad as you're assuming. I don't rhyme about butterflies; love poems are actually few and far between on my computer.
     
  9. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    Okay, I read it and it's not bad. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it, but it didn't make me cringe, so good job.
     
  10. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    I'll take that as a compliment, try this one:

    Let your pen’s ink flow,
    Let them scribble to and fro,
    You can write about a pimp,
    You can write about a ho,
    You can let the rhymes get bolder
    As your jokes keep getting colder,
    Let your pen’s – ink – flow.

    Let you rhyme scheme flow,
    Let the flow produce you dough,
    Use your dough to get a chick,
    Use your chick to get a blow,
    You’ll be comfy when you’re older,
    If you let your schema smolder,
    Let you rhyme – scheme – flow.
     
  11. wobbler

    wobbler Well-Known Member

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    I acutally liked that one. Ok, I have to admit I havn't read the other ones through, but I don't have so much time that I would like.

    And remember kids, getting an erection is only half the story.
     
  12. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    I like it! Could you write an alternative version without reiterating the first line at the end of the stanza though? I don't know, I know it's a common procedure to add emphasis to your point of your poem and all but... I can't help but to feel that it nagged me.
     
  13. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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  14. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    Now finally one of my own work:

    O Lord of Demons, with a heart so black as coal
    Fulfill the wish of this humble soul

    Rejoice! For He has fulfilled the wish of this humble soul
    O Bless thee Lord Of Demons, with your heart so black as coal
     
  15. wobbler

    wobbler Well-Known Member

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    This is shit. Seriously. You have written two lines of crap, than you reversed them, getting a pile of crap instead.

    A monkey randomly hitting the keyboard could probaly do something better.
     
  16. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    I know, I am not that good with poetry. Also wobbler, you have not even post one poetry in this thread.
     
  17. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    I knew I'd find it eventually! I wrote this shortly after I decided to forgo tan lines one year. It's short, but might get a laugh or two.


    I fell asleep. God damn, this burns!
    I hope no one can see this.
    What's this now? A freckle? No...
    A mole upon my penis.
     
  18. wobbler

    wobbler Well-Known Member

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    The denial of one,
    The despair of two
    The hatred of three
    The spam of Arthgon


    Written in three seconds and dedicated to Arthgon since all the poetry I have are ether at my computer or at my girlfriends house.
    Might put up something that is more thought through.
     
  19. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    I've got the cure for all known disease
    I can make money grow on trees
    All the deserts I could irrigate
    All the poor I could emancipate
    But that's not what motivates me
    I'm interested in apathy

    Old, but it deserves a mention.
     
  20. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Mention provided, tip of the hat.

    This one I posted before, but I can't find that thread anymore so...

    Puff

    Puff, puff, prohibition,
    Toke, toke, don’t smoke,
    Little bit a hypocrite
    From a nigga on coke,

    They say don’t smoke,
    Say we’re all crooks,
    While the President’s got
    More lines than books.

    That fucker snorts yay,
    And he’s the God damn Chief,
    Yet the cops get pissed
    When I smoke that reef,

    Well fuck all a’ that,
    I ain’t got the time,
    To justify myself
    Or justify my rhymes,

    Or justify my right
    To sit and smoke some blunts
    To a fascist regime
    Or their pork-filled grunts.

    I say fuck the Man,
    Till he change his ways,
    An’ let us fine good people,
    ‘joy our fine good haze.

    How you trust the Man,
    Got his shit on point,
    When all he can seem to do,
    Is to dis-a-ppoint?

    Aids, crack, an’ Katrina,
    They’re battin’ a G,
    They steal yo’ cash
    To steal trees from me,

    And you think Social Security
    Can’t be fixed
    They just don’t give a fuck,
    They want that shit nixed.

    That’s da gov’ment man,
    Get used to that shit;
    Or get loud and get proud,
    And change it a bit,

    Twenty damn years old,
    If I’ve learned one thing,
    It’s that ya know the bitch,
    Before you buy that ring,

    And you don’t judge a book
    By the words on the front,
    And you remember a Bush,
    Is the same as a cunt.

    They say reefer madness,
    How you buy that crap?
    More distortion in that
    Than in Japanese rap.

    So let me lay down the truth,
    When in come to the pot,
    So you can know what it is,
    And you can know what it’s not.

    Just look at the web,
    At About.com,
    The way they talk,
    Might as well be a bomb,

    They act like we think
    We smoke Robitussin,
    Like you take two hits
    And you cure a concussion,

    Well, no, we aint stupid,
    This aint fucking magic,
    That anyone thinks that
    Is itself fucking tragic.

    Fuck with the proof,
    Tamper with studies,
    The D-E-to-the-A,
    The feds and they buddies,

    They lyin’ like rugs,
    Then denyin’ like thugs,
    They like addicts yo,
    They minds bent by the drugs

    Somehow a doc’s
    Grant money get spent,
    How the fucker gon’ work,
    No emol-u-ment,

    So the doc, he can’t learn,
    He can’t find out the truths,
    So y’all mis-edu-cated,
    When y’all go to the booths,

    Man says smoking gives you
    Just cons but no gain,
    Well I heard a bit different
    From over in Spain,

    Two, double-oh four,
    August I think,
    A report saying pot,
    Makes brain tumors shrink,

    It aint different here,
    It aint like it changed,
    Symptoms aint money,
    They just don’t get exchanged.

    And so I call to the people,
    To the fair and the free,
    To those lovers of love,
    I sound a decree.

    The wool lays thick,
    Over our eyes,
    So we can’t see
    As they criminalize,

    Everything we hold dear,
    This aint just about weed,
    It’s about you, ya’ li-brary
    And the books that you read,

    Or that chat on the phone,
    Wi-tcha girl or ya boy,
    And the NSA checking
    On what words you employ,

    It’s about being free
    From a sneaking oppression,
    From retrograde motion
    To tyrannic repression,

    So my bad if I lose you,
    In all the symbolics,
    And my bad if my rhyme,
    Gets long-winded and prolix,

    But it’s a point on the final,
    Too important to lose,
    Kinda like freedom:
    Our mind’s right to choose.
     
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