Please, attempt to explain this;

I used to put the plastic bags full of my dog's shit in a box outside of my house.

A few days ago, I go outside to see the box isn't there, but the poop is. All of the bags were handle side up, and placed neatly next to each other - much more organized than how they were in the box.

The bags were removed, by hand, and the box itself was stolen.

 

Was the box itself jewelled or ornamented in some way? If so there would be your answer.

 

Gnomes. Try setting up a small device triggered by heat movement that will launch a volley of poisonous darts (some snake have poison that can paralyse) on the area around the shit-bags. You're bound to get at least one of them disabled and then use him for further interrogation.

 

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

 

I heard a story of a man who having acquired a new refrigerator deigned to rid himself of the old one so he placed it along the street outside of his residence with a sign on it reading "FREE." Some days afterward the refrigerator remained there along the road. The man removed the "FREE" sign, replacing it with a sign that read "$50."

It was stolen the next day.

 

Sign that says "Free dung" may just do the job.

 

I'll have to use that trick if I don't feel like bringing the shit to the dump.

 

Is that what you say when you crap your pants?

 

Actually, I say "I have to throw out these boxers."

 

Simple, a little girl took the box.

// Teens and adults know better than to steal & when they disregard morals and the law, they also tend to disregard orderliness. Kids, however, don't always know better and can be respectful in one regard (the orderliness of the bags) while disrespectful in others (the theft) because they don't realize that their actions might be taken as an act of disrespect. Furthermore, girls tend to be more orderly than boys.

// So unless there is an orderly boy, or a simple-minded & orderly adult that lives near you, I would suspect a young girl of about age 8. (Old enough to want, not necessarily old enough to realize that there are consequences to actions.)

// (Also consider the mysteriousness of the female gender.)

 

A little girl took my shit box between the hours of 12 AM and 4 AM? I know the time frame because I dropped one bag into it at midnight and my fiancee left for work at four.

 

Aha! It was the fiancée! Now you just need to work out why she took it. My guess is - domestic terrorism. She's probably setting you up for the fall, too. Tread carefully, my friend.

Speaking of friends, hey Xyle - have you been lurking this whole time, or did you just get back from converting unbelievers in a far away land?

 

You all heard it from Xyle, 8 year old girls are old enough to want it.

 

Personally, I'd use a different word to describe someone who steals shit containers than "mysterious".

That word would be "attractive".

 

Xyle's right: it was a little girl or it was someone else.

 

You all heard it from Jojobobo, 8 year old girls are attractive.

 

No, I said 8 year old girls who steal containers that used to store shit are attractive. I have some standards.

 

Ah, you're only interested in an 8 year old girl's shit box. Yes, that's much better.