Panhandling, is it or is it not a job?

Personally I think panhandling and vagrancy are god given rights, not crimes.

On that note, I just got fired, got my river's license suspended, and I'm broke.

On top of that, my ass hole dad wants me to pay him 600 dollars a month to live in the basement. The kicker about that one is its not like he even needs the money... I mean jesus christ, VP of national engineering in <big company, trust me> and he feels the need to put the fear of god in me.

I mean, I have nothing against "growing up" blah blah blah, but I mean, this sucks.

Did I mention I'm broke?

Oh well, I guess I'll ebay my guitar.

Feel free to make fun of me, I think its pretty hilarious.

On the bright side i still have a bicycle, and I'm not a hardcore unemployable... may be I can get a job shoveling stables or something...

 

Silly elf, i was joking about the panhandling thing.

Then again, all i really want out of life are a box, a couple secondhand blankets, and a 40 oz.

 

So, Sleek, it sounds like your dad is none other than The Green Goblin! Evil, rich executive with no repect for his son. Does he have a, how you say, anger problem? A pumpkin obsession? Wait, does that mean you're next?

No really, what did you do? Drunk driving on the job? Underage drinking on the job? Pot bust? Sounds like one of those.

Sucks, man. Aren't you like 20? And in school? That's a bit early to do the rent in dad's house thing.

 

I'm 19, getting fired and losing my driver's license were unrelated incidents that just happened to occur at the same time.

I lost my job because I didnt show up one day, why didnt i show up? Because I was asleep at 5pm, why was I asleep at 5pm? Because I didnt fall asleep until 630 am. Why didnt I sleep until 6 am? Beets me, i got in bed at midnight, and just rolled around for 6 hours. Oh well.

I got my license taken away because on november 8th I decided to test out my new car at around 1 am on my way home from work, I went 88mph in a 50mph zone past a cop, and got pulled over. So basically I lost my license because I'm an idiot.

I'm going to apply for a restricted license in 2 weeks though, so I'll still be able to drive myself to work, and school and back etc. Not that I'm not going to be driving between now and then just because the government says I can't.

 

Sleek, I can't help but feel a sudden surge of respect for you. $600 a month for living in the basement. What a pain in the ass.

 

Well its a nice basement...

I mean, wall to wall carpeting and theres a living room with a big screen tv, but its not mine, etc. Plus there are windows, and its a walk out basement so theres an exit to the pateo in the back yard...

But forget about all that, Mr. Wolf's desciption makes it sound a lot more tragically poetic, and makes me feel a lot more self righteous!

 

Wolf, you are an idiot, as usual. How does the fact that someone has to pay excessive rent raise your respect? A person's situation should have nothing to do with your respect for them, unless the person is dealing with it in a noble or respectable way. For example, if Sleek became an underground street fighter to pay off his rent, or got himself a new job, that would raise my respect for him. The fact that he whines and bitches about it does not.

 

Well, I have snatched a few purses... no street fighting though...

But purse snatcher is a highly respectable job if you ask me. Its what I spent all those years in cross country and track training for.

 

Well, I hope you feel the same when someone snatches yours.

 

Dude, purse snatching is a very ineffective and uneconomical way of obtaining money illegaly. No woman carries very much in her purse, doing it in broad daylight is very risky, and it's just not cool. Try weapons smuggling, or protection rackets.

"I'm an illegal arms dealer. I sell assault weapons and explosives to shady characters out of a basement in Little Italy."

"I'm a purse-snatcher. I steal pocket-books from middle-aged shoppers at the Garden State Plaza."

Which one sounds more badass?

 

Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er . . . I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!



PS - You lost your license for a 33mph over? Did you fight the ticket or plead guilty? You should've at least got out of it with a provisional work/school license.

 

You dont understand, I'm in that demographic where you put a big spoiler on your car and take the muffler out, and race around being a jack ass. I wasnt doing that, but i have long sideburns and a fashionable haircut, and i'm white, and I look like the kind of kid who might care about that sort of thing. Plus the judge looked like santa claus, probably assumed i live at college or something. Either way I motioned for a provisional license and took my seat at the back of the court and when he got the memo he called me up to the stand and told me "Listen Mr. You can appeal your case if you dont like my decision, but I hope you dont get Judge so and so when your case gets sent upstairs, blah blah blah. I dont take peoples licenses away just to give them right back, I take them away so punks like you wont try stunts like this again! I'm not giving you a restricted license, I'm giving you a suspended one!"

But anyway, with an attitude like this the government is lucky I dont bomb the court house! (did you get that one flink?) Its not like I care what this ass hole judge's decision was, I drove to school today, and I'm going to drive myself to school until they throw me in jail.

But in 2 weeks I'm going to motion for a restriced license again, and hopefully this ass hole will have cooled his temper by then.May be i'll right a nice essay on why i absolutely require a driver's license in order to function. Oh well. Fuck the system, its all a bureaucratic sophist lie anyway.

There was a lady whose case came before mine and she needed a walker to get to the front because she was so fat, and she needed a translator to go from speach to sign language for her, and she had gotten caught going 85 in a 50 mph zone and she only got her license suspended for 20 days and a 100 dollar fine. Sometimes i wish i was crippled and deaf too.

 

$600 US a month for a basement? Where the fuck do you live? The absolute centre of New York? Do you know what kind of place you could get here for that much? You could get a 3 bedroom house less than 30 minutes drive from the CBD, not just a fucking basement. Granted, your basement comes furnished, but holy shit.

I'd also like to know what job you could possibly hold that would allow you, at 19, to afford $600/month and still make a profit.

 

When I waited tables I could bring in at least 350 a week.

But then Americans dont really know the value of money, so how am I supposed to learn from this?

 

$350 a week as a waiter? Shit, why aren't more people waiters then? Oh, and how much of that comes froms tips?

 

Sigurd, Sleek did not win my respect for being charged $600 for the basement but for the other stuff in his post. I can see how you got confused, thoug.

 

Being a waiter at the right restaurant can make you tons of money in tips. Even more if your female. The tips some times come out to the same as your paycheck if your lucky. The people who work at Olive Garden make the amount Mr. Sleek suggested above. Sadly I had to work as a pizza delivery boy, even though I made about $250 a week in tips, 40-50% of that goes into gasoline.

And 600$ for a basement. Fuck that sucks. You can find something better than that. Hell id pay 600$ to live in a bathroom at the gas station just so my dad never got the money.

 

Ask you Dad very poliutely how money should you charge him 15 years later for the service of you letting him see his granchildren ( your children)

Disclaimer. Do this only if you are 100 % sure that you are a real sun of his not adopted or well the other cause.

 

I made 100% of my money from tips. The paycheck (less than half of minimum wage) just went towards paying my taxes on my tips. That's pretty standard. Which is why American waiters will spit in your food if you tip like a foreigner. I used to refuse to serve Aussies on principle. Worst tippers in the world. "Yeah if I save this, that's another day of walkabout, mate." Fuck that.

That said, being a waiter in the states is a good gig.At one job, I made upwards of $800 a week. As a bartender, it was even more.

And really, 600 isn't really that much for a big basement. Maybe it's too much for a dad to charge, but rents are damned high in US cities. My place in Boston was a one-bedroom for 1000 a month. And that was considered cheap. Thus the need for my bartender's salary.