Original Black Isle/Troika team united again?!

Nothing. The simple fact that they'd try is a tad disturbing, but not at all scary.

 

.....I retract my last statement.

 

After all, there's meat-eating plants, so tighten your belts and prepare to fight or starve.

 

I'll fight any damn animal that tries to evade my plate!

Take no prisoners!

 

Maybe that's your problem, Spuddy. You don't kill things before you try eating them.

 

I like the feeling of them struggling as they go down my esophagus. It adds some much needed drama to the simplest of meals.

 

Blah, it's not so good when you try to put a struggling cow in your esophagus...

 

How the hell does a potato eat meat?

 

Meat and potatoes, the staple of life! We go together like a house on fire (which is a saying I still don't understand).

 

That's not potato, Tel, that's Veneral fly-catching plant, but I'm sure it will avenge for its brethren (potatoes too...)

 

Ah, but spuds can "eat" most anything. Due to their location and prodigious root system, they can sap all vital nutrients (as opposed to non-vital nutrients) from the soil adjacent to their tubers. If meat was placed in the ground with a potato, the potato would draw from it. Now, as for swallowing something...I was lead to believe that most cellular effusion in plants was a direct result of osmosis.
As for me, the few things that manage to survive my personal food preparations have been a goldfish and some flies (I don't wear a face mask when I ride a bike).
The goldfish was not fun. When I found out the fish had actually eaten not minutes before I ate it, I was thoroughly disgusted.
Fucking fish poop.

 

I am mightily impressed by the (apparent?) support emanating from the mighty Grossenschwamm (sic) whenever spuds are mentioned.

I would be honoured if you, Good Sir, would accept the Kartoffeler Kross with Gold Ribbon as a small token of gratitude for everything you have done in the cause of potato protection.

Also, Sofokl is hereby awarded the Kartoffeler Kross for his rousing speech about the day the Venus Flytraps of the world will rise and avenge their fallen brethren, "potatoes too." Sofokl, too, is a mighty warrior for the cause.

(You best accept the medals now before I get any drunker and forget about them...)

 

Spuddy, what Gross was basically saying is thaat you are a like a leech, sucking the nutrients from things too stupid to realise they are being eaten. That makes me more angry at your brethren. It was my 89 year old grandmother that could not walk and she seemed lifeless. Damn potatoes in her garden....

 

No, he can't be like a leech, because he doesn't have a mouth.

I accept the medal and wear it with pride!!

As for your grandma...are you saying she was too stupid to get out of her garden to avoid being eaten by potatoes?

 

Well we just thought she really enjoyes gardening. REALLY enjoyed it in fact....

 

You should've rescued her from the obsession. Leaving her to die by spudulation in such a way is like cutting off your skin to keep it from itching.

 

Maybe that was a symbiosis? Potato roots got nutrients for Tel's grandma and she managed to pour water on those plants sometimes.

 

Let me tell you, Tel's grandma was really fulfilling, satiating even. *burp*