Nearly fucking crippled myself today.

I'm an idiot, and I'll explain why.

But since I suck at explaining stuff, I will show you a picture instead.



Take a long good look at that kind of machine.

Now, monday is leg day at the gym. Squats and all that glory for the stumps that protrude under one's belly. My brother and I always finish these sessions off by training our calves, and we do it in a machine like the one above.

Now, we've always done this with the belly to the backrest. That makes a whole lot of things much less complicated but it's a bitch on the back, so out of the blue we decided to stand like the guy in the pic above when we did the calves.

When you do calves in this machine, you need a board or something to put your feet on. This is a bit more complicated if you have your back to the backrest because it will slide down and generally make a hassle, but we decided to have a go at it anyway.

Anyway, the first reps went superb. It was nice to do calves without killing the back as it usually does. So for my next set of reps, I loaded the machine with what I usually press and went ahead.

Apparently, the board I was standing on wasn't were it should be when I did the lift. My brother, always the one to display mastery of timing, yelled "WAIT WAIT WAIT" just as I lifted the shit up. Now, I don't exactly remember what happened here. Either the board slid away from under my feet, or my brother's yelling somehow made me relax every single muscle in my body after I'd lifted the weight off the security hinges.

This is generally considered a bad move when you have 300 kg's resting on your shoulders.

Needless to say, the machine clapped together like a fucking mousetrap. All I remember is being forced extremely fast towards the ground, before I was somehow twisted out of the machine and landed on the floor. The sound from my knees reminded me a good deal of wooden boards being slowly twisted in two.

So I sat there on the floor, my legs completely numb. I was positively in a chock (heart throbbing, hands shaking, that sort of deal), and rather convinced that I had destroyed my knees for all eternity and would never be able to walk again.

I realised rather quickly however that my toes were working like they should, and lo and behold, I could even stand up on the first attempt. If I'm lucky, I have no serious injuries but got away with being chocked only.

My knees and ankles don't exactly hurt, but I walk like a limp goose and if things haven't improved tomorrow, I might have to pay a doctor money I don't have to look at my knees. I really don't want to end up a cripple, especially if it's on behalf of my own stupidity.

Just to add insult to injury, the gym was crowded like a water melon sale in Harlem when this happened. Seems like I have a knack for making a fool out of myself in public.

 

Well, it's not like it's possible to make a fool of yourself in private, now is it?

 

Only problem with that is that I hate running. If I absolutely must, running is for short distances, like in brännboll (and if my knees are badly damaged, I might even miss out on the World Cup). Otherwise I prefer walking like any sane individual would.

 

If you managed to walk home and didn't shit yourself (badly) then at worst you'll be walking funny for a month and hurting for two.

Also, you really shouldn't need anything more then dumbbells to train effectively. Gyms are overrated.

 

I'm thinking about going to the doctor anyway. Sleeping was hell tonight, I awoke in pain every time I wanted to roll around in bed, which I do all the fucking time. When I woke up this morning, my knees were in such pain that I actually sat in my bed and hesitated for about 10 minutes before attempting to stand up.

Something may be fucked up, and the quicker I get it checked, the better I suppose.

 

See, it all depends on how you got crippled. Bullet wounds, bomb shrapnel, knife stabs and chainsaw massacres are all acceptable, if not damn stylish, ways of ruining your limbs. Stupidity, on the hand, is not.

 

I've been saying for years that exercise is bad for you.

 

This.

Yes I know this post is on the verge of being spam. Now what the hell are you going to do about it?

 

Exercise is a damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of deal really. You end up fucked no matter what.

 

So why bother?

 

Don't you just shoot people you don't like?

 

They're called "women".

Anyway, I went to the doctor. Nothing is broken, and all the sinews and what have you inside the knee seem to be OK. It's probably just the muscular attachments at the inside of the knee that's been overstressed or hammered in some way (might be that I slammed my knees together during the fall).

In case there are any cracks in the bones and whatnot, I also got myself a referral to the radiologist, but the doctor told me to wait a few days before going there. If things get better, I need no x-rays. Having legs like redwood trunks is a good thing sometimes.

So despite the fact that I can barely walk, things appear to have turned out OK this time around.

Still a bit pissed that I can't train aikido this evening though.

 

Women?

So thats why you havn't been online.

You went and got a life didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!