Live in the US? Think your kids aren't fat enough? Well...

You no longer need to worry.
Thanks to the congress overturning the USDA's requests for healthier lunches to be served in public schools, pizza is now a vegetable. You know, in the same way that 31% of one ingredient on an entire food item makes it a vegetable, even if that one thing is made from fruit.
Their reasoning? 1/8th of a cup of tomato paste is as nutritious as half a cup of vegetables. By adding water, more of a vegetable is created. You know who directly opposed the USDA's suggestion? People who sell food in this country. Guess who lobbied congress.
Might as well get this out of the way;
Vodka is made from potato starch. It's a vegetable.
Funyuns kinda taste like onion rings (and are made out of corn!). They must be vegetables.
Filet mignon with kale as a garnish = vegetable.

 

I'm sorry, what? I lost concentration when you listed my favourite vegetables.

 

It's a good thing tooth fillings are there to save the day with their radio signals, yes.

 

Well, duh. How else would I have gotten this information had the CIA not been foolish enough to broadcast it on AM frequencies near my house? Oh, wait...no it's national news.