I've Got a Confession...

Last night I succeeded in giving myself oral sex.

Only joking - a confession implies guilt and regret. No my real confession is that sometimes... occasionally... I trawl through old general discussion threads for my own entertainment. I know, I need to get a life.

Still I thought it might be fun to dredge up old threads (obviously not gravedigging, just listing them to read through for amusement) and reminisce for the older members or give newer members a look at something odd and humorous. I will say that I'm not implying HoL is so bereft of things to talk about that this is necessary, I just thought it might be entertaining, and if this thread just crashes and burns it's no great loss. So is there a particular thread that you can remember that you thought was pretty hilarious or generally worth reading, or as is my case have you stumbled upon one that was before your time that you found worthwhile?

Here's one I found to be pretty funny and informative; in fact it was very informative...

 

Hahaha. Yeah. I can remember that topic very well. Does anyone have better ideas these days?

 

<object width="420" height="315"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zSTEqHxh3fI?version=3&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zSTEqHxh3fI?version=3&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

I know a few more ways, I think.

Volcano deposit, or anything involving a lava floe.

Pigs.

Ah, Tasmanian Devils.

Pigs may have been mentioned in the last thread, but it's a good idea to not piss off a pig farmer, making the possible double-mention more imperative.

 

Hey I'm no phony! Read what I put again...

And yeah pigs and lava flows both got covered; the thread gets pretty inventive!

I was actually going to post a thread by DE about an addictive music tone thing he posted a few years back that I noticed a few months ago, but sadly now it's not working even though it was till recently. Still, in case anyone managed to find a mirror.

 

On a related topic, I'm so pissed off at the ghoulish spate of funeral insurance commercials on tv lately that I just hope that, when I go, my body is eaten entirely.

Funeral Insurance: We bet you that you'll live long enough to pay us more than the cost of disposing of your body. If you die too soon, then you win.

It must be a combination of the ageing demographic plus the recent shakedown in the financial sector, but baby Jesus weeps!

Finance is like slight of hand but with invisible tokens. When the revolution comes, we should dispose of their bodies by sticking them on spikes as a warning to others.

 

Got any examples? Fortunately there doesn't seem to be the same morbid fascination in the UK so I'm intrigued!

 

Australian TV is swamped with them. Doesn't matter if you watch free to air or pay TV, during the day it is just aimed at house wives suckering them into forcing their husbands to get life insurance and funeral cost insurance.

 

Okay wait, I'm having an idea, *grunt*push*grunt*

Ah, okay. The rising cost of capital in the globalised finance market coupled with the high value of the australian dollar means that *grunt*strain* uh, um, the goddamned motherfucking fatcats are farming the fears of australian baby-boomers for capital to exchange and loan at higher rates overseas *plop*.

Goddamn I hate macroeconomics. Baby Jesus weeps.

 

Quality forums for quality people

 

You are a cinema, I could watch you forever.

 

Nah, you're just TiVo.

 

That's what I try for every time I get a call from a telemarketer/random person promoting a political official. It's funnier in the moment, though I might add you sound as though you're not getting enough fiber, my good chum.

 

The cognition constipation is because finance depends upon deception and my autism keeps trying to short-circuit it into honest-to-goodness maths, which just won't add up!

The *plop* at the end signifies my opinion of such things.

Ultimately though, the moral of the story is: One shouldn't publish online while very stoned.

 

Yes, I can agree with the last part of your post with no apprehension. I'm willing to try it while getting a BJ, however...wait. I think that's some really sad fantasy I've revealed.

Curse you Jojobobo!

 

How flattering to the woman that would be - "Yeah of course I'm enjoying it baby, just give me a moment to post my witty remark and then you can have my full attention."

 

Oh - he wants a BJ while posting on this board? I thought he meant he wanted one while taking a dump.

Though frankly, if you can find a woman willing to give you one while you do either of those things, you're basically set for life.

 

Much more impressing would be posting while giving a BJ.

 

Urban dictionary has a word for getting a bj while sitting on a toilet. The bj under those circumstances is called a "plumpkin," but don't ask me why.

It would be very impressive to post while giving a bj, but I'm not about to try.