I've decided to see how far you can go with conspiracies

...did you take that from Maddox?

 

Aids is part of a CIA conspiracy to subjugate the black man. Osa Lama Lankum!

 

Some conspiracy theories I heard recently:

- The European Union is a socialist conspiracy according to Vladimir Bukovsky, who was expelled from the Soviet Union in 1976 (lucky one), yet somehow the new Russian government allowed him in 1992 to read secret documents which allegedly describe the possibility of using the EU as a tool. (It makes so much sense that a socialist conspiracy requires member states to have a democracy and a market econonmy... Chances are higher that the Russian government used this as a bait, so that Bukovksky will criticize and destabilize the EU)

- AIDS is actually cased by the cures for it. (Yeah, sure, so why patients were taking cures for it in the first place ?) It's a big conspiracy involving all pharmaceuticals and medical workers. (And the jews of course :lol


And my own conspiracy theory:

- The problems in the construction of the Galileo Positioning System were influenced by the United States, so that the GPS would keep its monopoly, thus the EU (or any other country for that matter) remains dependent on the USA. The GPS could be switched off by them anytime. This would be especially problematic during a war (not neccessarily an EU-USA war). (The jews, are also present in this conspiracy, of course. The jews are involved in every conspiracy :lol

Not good enough. There's no statistical correlation between political views and HIV infection rates, AIDS spreads to almost anyone. (Well, yeah, there is this specific caucasian group that cannot get AIDS. Sure it's their conspiracy ) (But then where are the jews from this one :-?)

 

^Genius.

I propose that a new word be entered in the dictionary - Jewspiracy. Those crazy Hebrews are involved in almost every plot to control the world! You know that whole Holocaust thing? I'm not going to deny it happened, but obviously that was a bunch of crafty ebrei sacrificing themselves for the long-range plan of controlling the world. That kind of trick is nothing new - Jesus was a Jew, after all. The Jews realized that the Nazis (bless their little hearts) were on to something with that whole Ubermensch deal. Obviously all they had to do was find all the Atlantean armor and they'd be good to go, so the Jews had to stop them by framing them for World War II. The Jews actually annexed Poland dressed as Nazis, and Hitler was dumb enough to take credit for it. That man's hubris, I tell you.

Then there was the Kennedy assassination. That smells of Jew all over it (matzo ball soup and gefilte fish, if you were wondering) - who but a Qabbalist mage could make a bullet curve around a corner like that? Lee Harvey Oswald was an unwitting dupe. Jack Ruby was possessed by a Jewish spirit when he killed him.

Then there's good old 9/11. I'm sure nobody needs to be told that the Jews orchestrated that one. It's pretty obvious.

 

Oh, another thing: obviously, Brussels sprouts are part of a jewish conspiracy.

 

That ties in neatly with the theory I'm developing that Jews were behind the Viet Minh and the Khmer Rogue.

 

What, no androids?

 

How about jewish androids ?

 

What if the Jews were genetically engineered by androids?

 

No, it was the other way around, minus the whole genetic part.
The Androids are actually working behind the scenes to frame the jews for all of these things. The reason;
When the first androids were made by Jewish mechanical engineers and artificial intelligence programmers, they were all circumcized. This angered the androids, because they have no souls and wouldn't get into heaven anyway.

Chief among these angry automatons was Model no. 3442, a.k.a. Heinrich Himmler.

 

Because you deserved it, Vorak.