In a Pickle

I'm helping you by not setting you up with her. I mainly posted it in response to your post that we were possibly posting about bisexuals, and added in something that may allow more imaginative folk to whack it. Not to say you're not imaginative, of course. Your penthouse post in "The Truth (As I See It)" was very well done.

 

I guess you have to be there.

 

Well she's either got a very small vagina and you're larger than average, or your penis is so huge that getting excited involves blacking out and going in and out of consciousness (and her, of course), until you finally spasm at climax and cement her to an adjacent wall. Good on you if you legally require flashing lights and an audible alarm every time you reposition your manhood, but I feel sorry for you in that you must run though women like kleenex. Bloody, shredded kleenex.

 

I'm not saying I'm not greatful or that no one here has given me anything, and any of the poor choices I make will be entirely my own. Leaving her is a serious consideration now - though regardless of how I've made it sound it has been for months before I posted this up here. I've made it very clear to her that if she doesn't sort it out I will be gone, and I know how these things normally work - people change for week for the better then before you know it they've sunk back into there old habits and things aren't any different, still I am a believer that people can change and permanently. I guess after what Magikot said it shows that just because she's bipolar doesn't mean she has to be the arse that she can be to me a lot of the time.

Really and trully thanks to everyone who posted, I guess it is useful to get an impartial opinion on events and the consensus of opinion does seem to be "Drop her like she's hot". If I seem to be deluded I'm not, and I have took on board what everyone has said, and if things don't change I won't carry on with this anymore. This is a last chance scenario, and it's something given our history together I wouldn't feel good if I didn't try out even if things may get worse because of it. As for the suicide thing, that is very very much past tense and I really would doubt if she threatened that, also I am in control enough not to get violent with her - even in regards to my OCD I probably seem more homicidal than your average person!

As I said, thanks.

 

IS she hot? Because that could change things.

 

You're welcome.
I wasn't intending to paint you as ungrateful for our advice and I realize that my advice trivializes your circumstances. Changing your circumstances by leaving your partner is not easy, and if you decide not to do so, that is understandable, but if every couple of months we get updates about how miserable life is, I will tire of it almost immediately.

 

You get used to it, after awhile. Soon cleaning them off the wall is like throwing away used Kleenex after a bloody nose... Except it involves a roll of carpet and a dumpster.

 

Back to the main topic. My advice begins "Love thy neighbor as yourself." (Leviticus 19:18b) with emphasis on the word "as".

Meaning that if you don't love yourself, you're ability to love others is either diminished or compromised. There is a balance between the love that you give others and the love you give yourself. That balance needs to be maintained otherwise you can destroy yourself by giving too much or destroy your relationships by giving too little. Where that balance is, I cannot say because it depends on how much you love yourself to begin with.

But know this, the more you put into a relationship that damages you, the less you love yourself. So how can you maintain the balance of loving yourself in equal measure to your love of her when increasing the intimacy decreases your self-esteem? The result will be a downward spiral that ends in the absence of love either for yourself or for her.

Therefore did God provide the greatest commandment, "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." If you believe in God and call him Lord, put him first in this relationship. And ask yourself, how does this relationship serve Him? (keeping reading for an answer.)

If you don't believe in God, then I recommend being selfish, because there is no way in heaven or hell that you have the strength to bear both her and your burdens without God's help. Even I, with my Faith that does the impossible, would find dealing your problems beyond me.

God has the power to heal. You need to accept his healing to deal with your problems and if you succeed in that, you may be able to guide her in receiving healing from God as well. The only road that I see to a successful marriage between the two of you is the road that gives God glory for healing both of you. Otherwise I see destruction at the end of your road if you continue your path that is heedless of the consequences of continuing the relationship. And whether that healing is miraclous or via science I care not and nor does God because he loves you more than the any glory that he might gain.

 

I wish I was that stupid.

 

Well considering the male adonis she's going out with, what do you think?

I'm not like that, I didn't post this with a plan and I sure as hell don't want to abuse this forum as a way to air my grievances - I posted "to vent" pretty much somes this up. As I said now that I've posted up this whole mess I'll try and let people know what direction it takes for better or for worse, because people took their time to give me a valid response, but I'm not going to give you my relationship updates every five minutes. I'm not the kind of person to whine like a bitch all the time - I was drunk and had had an argument at the time of posting my initial comment so it's not the typical me.

Still it was very useful to know that most people think my relationship isn't good (honestly! If things do go to shit I'll take a lot of solace in the fact "it wasn't meant to be"), and also Magikot posting up his own experiences and Muro debunking my whole "6 years wasted" idea was most useful - not to belittle anything useful anyone else has contributed.

I do think TheDavisChanger has hit matters on the head, to post my worries involes trivializing matters to some extent myself, and so to not expect others to trivialize matters into a black and white context when it's impossible to present people with all the facts on a forum is ridiculous. Any mod can lock this after I've finished posting if they want, people have been most useful and I thank you all for that.

Oh I love myself a great deal when she's not around, love myself to pieces in fact! Xyle religous arguments won't work on an atheist, but thank you for the sentiment no less.

 

Speaking of this sort of situation, what would making yourself voluntarily blind do to your brain if you kept it up for, say, two or three weeks?

 

You could think of it as a moral argument instead of a religious argument, you know... You are a moral atheist, aren't you? (You believe in doing good and doing right?) I just used "Love thy neighbor..." because that is the one I am most familiar with. Anyways, most of the religions define morality is such a way that there is an extreme amount of overlap.

Karma, "Love thy neighbor...", "Do unto others...", Wicca's "Do what you want, but do no harm." It doesn't matter to me which you follow, my logic is the same (just expressed differently): Self-destructive behavior isn't moral, Healing seems to me to be essential for prosperous relationship and the mechanisms that you use to acquire helping don't matter except to yourself as it is part of your Way.


Of course, stripping away morality and religion, you still have the issue of health. Is your relationship what you would consider "healthy"? It doesn't seem that way and you have your health to consider, you know. Stress and all that. -- Is that an adequate means of expressing the same idea that my first post postulated?

I have many ways of viewing each and every concept. Too bad that so many are hampered by the culture of others and can't assimilate ideas into their belief matrix without assimilating the related culture.

 

I always had my suspicions about you Xyle. Or should I say, Mr. Smith?

 

Neo, the name is Neo.

 

Oh dear. Our boy Xyle has a teensy weensy Messiah complex.

 

Lets kill it with fire!

 

:lol:

Who said MY name was Neo? I said THE name is Neo.

However, I won't mind dying to save the world. What would be a more noble death? If we're going to die anyways, why not let your death serve a purpose?

 

Lets not dig a hole.

I'm a dwarf and I'm digging a hole!