Yeah so erm... My parnter is bipolar and I wanted a seemingly inocuous title that she wouldn’t check too much into - I've been playing on Plants vs. Zombies recently and she wouldn't know a pickle isn't a plant. Where do I begin? Basically I'm in need of help, recently I've developed OCD with the specific obsession of breaking my partner's neck. For all you people who think I'm a danger... SNAP! OCD people won't ever harm people and if you still don't believe me I've been diagnosed since my March and not harmed my partner, also I've had thoughts along these lines and never acted on them since early childhood; so what does that tell you? So yeah, fuck yeah, I'm in need of help. I'll start from the beginning: My partner started off 6 years ago perfectly happy and normal. 5 years ago-ish she told me she had had depression before. By this time I'd fallen in love and would do anything for her. She started cutting herself, and it took me some time to convince her not to. She told me she would kill herself if I ever told anyone about her problems, and then when I told her she needed to relax a bit she said in response she would leave me. Of course I said I had to tell people if she was suicidal and she didn't really have a response - she went for a meal with her family which I wasn't aware of and in the process, thinking she killed herself, I told most of my family what had happened thinking the worst. Afterwards she told me this whole situation was my fault. Skip forward a few years and we had quite a night. She was depressed, as you would imagine bipolar people are from time to time, and she asked me to suffocate her. She’s still alive so you can imagine my response. Suffice to say if you’ve ever been in love and had your partner ask you to kill them there’s nothing worse. So she improved, but not entirely. She only got diagnosed with bipolar before last Christmas, so imagine my anguish with having to deal with someone like this till them. She’s on Seroquel at the minute but it’s not entirely affective; she’ll probably be transitioning onto a lithium based drug by the end of this month but the point is before that and for years she was still a fucking arsehole. On a daily basis she has called me “fat, an idiot, a moron, a retard, ugly, a spastic” etc. for the last 3 years at least. She’ll also tell me “no wonder no one likes me”, that “my family are all against me” and worst of all (which I find it hard to ignore) “ that I mutter all the time.” Of course there’s more importantly looks she gives me - every time I’m talking about a detail she finds boring - that say to me more than words “move the fucking conversation along.” I’ve developed significant social anxiety as a consequence, sometimes when I’m speaking to people telling a prolonged story I feel like I’m being choked, but what can you do? I’m human, I lose my rag some of the time. I’ve never hit her but god have I wrecked my house as a consequence of how incredibly angry she’s made me. I will say that my experiences with her have made me emotionally wooden - how could you not be? - but to someone with such variant emotions she doesn’t understand. So there you go, help me! Tell me you’ve also had similar experiences, or at least tell me “dude that shit is whack!” Or just enjoy a person’s stupid worries. Hopefully in few weeks time when she’s on lithium she’ll be sorted, but till then my god am I going crazy. Gross I’m sure you said before you had schizoaffective disorder and you’ve been on seroquel - your advice on these matters would be most welcome. For the record she’s got pyschlophemia if that makes things clearer - and yes that does mean she hallucinates from time to time. Why am I posting this here? Well no forums have topics which contain OCD person with bipolar partner. I also thought people are intelligent here, and seeing as I’m engaged I don’t want to relay these specific worries to my friends/family. In the most part given my social anxiety the friends I already have are usually her friends anyway. In any case I thought this might be like a free soap opera for people after a laugh, if not than your advice is most welcome. If you have anymore questions about my past with her as well, shoot. Edit: People have viewed and no one's answered! Don't be shy. I think I'm going to go and pick up some beer for the time being anyway, after all my partner is on a tranquilizer.