I hope you Aussies are enjoying this!

Study reveals Australia suffering from 'man drought

I hope all you TA Australian douchebags are enjoying this! There's plenty of room in my shitty one room apartment if you wanna send any of the attractive ones to the US...

That explains why most of you are still there.

 

Oh, that entire article is Grade-A unadulterated BULLSHIT. According to the latest census, the gender balance here is about 51-49, men-women. The problem is that all the good men are pissing off.

 

Orright, here goes nothing:

1. There is more money to be made in the rural and mining towns. Single men move there because they are unattached and can rake in the money, becoming millionares before they are thirty. Billionare if you stick on till forty.

2. There seems to be a myth that these towns do not have the 'basic amenities' that family orientated women desire - eg hospitals and schools - where the truth is, they are actually dying out because there aren't any elderly to treat, or children to school.

3. Women of the city tend to be more comfortable there, and would prefer not to give up their careers for a rural lifestyle. The majority of women here value their independence more than family, and therefore cannot see themselves allowing the men to bring home the bacon for them.

4. The men, having already adapted to the rural lifestyle, don't see why they have to move back into the city to raise a family, where there's already a decent town with a decent community they can live with.

5. EVERYONE forgets how big Australia is. You can drive through ten different countries in Europe (more, depending which direction you go) in the time it takes to travel from Perth to Sydney (west to east). Rural towns are quite literally in fact in the middle of no-where - putting off said career women.

6. The young men and women who aren't working full time are spending more time at university or TAFE learning a trade - with undergraduates allowed to take up to ten years, none of these people have the need to move out and find a stable career, preferring learning over money for the time being.

7. By the time they do enter the workforce, the women can't find the millionares they want, because they are in said rural towns, away from everyone else.

8. Said millionare families can therefore move out of Australia, bringing their children with them, leaving a very large gap in the workforce. However, the number of migrants moving in far outweighs the people moving out - and the people coming in do not have the skills or qualifications to make up the gap.

9. We are exporting more of our goods than importing. We buy Chinese beef because Australian beef would bring in more money from the Chinese, for one example.

Simple demographics. Women want comfort, Men want the money. When both have their desires fulfilled, neither want to move in together to have both desires. 97% of the population live in cities, leaving the remaining 3% to occupy the 99.5% of space we've got.

 

What she said. :thumbup: Have you people seen outback Australia? It is fuck-off levels of huge. It takes something like six-eight hours to get from Melbourne to Sydney, and that's just from one state to another. It's obscenely big.

Of course, I live in Tasmania, where it takes two hours to get to Hobart from Launceston and most of the land is green and lush. Unfortunately, there are far too many mutants...

'He's Tasmanian born and bred,
Long in the leg and thick in the head.'
- Me (Melbourne girl) to my friend David (Sydney boy) regarding Simon (a resident Tasmanian boy who was tall as a tree and half as smart)

 

On a global scale, women outnumber men 51-49%. At least they did the last time I bothered to check...I guess what I'm saying is any fact can be exaggerated to the point of absurdity. It might be a marketing ploy to get more people to travel to Australia.

 

100% of all statistics can be made to show anything, 50% of the time. :???:

 

The solution is obvious: basements.

 

*insert witty private joke*

It's actually a bit of an issue in Australia. The women are complaining there aren't enough men in the city, and the men are complaining there aren't enough women in town. Thus, the effect is that towns are dwindling to about 200 or so. Below that, and they will have to disband because the town isn't viable enough to sustain itself.

My partner and I would happily move into the country, except that we have quite a bit of family here that need constant medical attention, which they can only get in the city (yes, I know this goes against my previous argument about medical facilities, but seriously, not all hospitals can afford the equipment, anyway). If, however, we can move said family members into town, we'd be there in a flash.

For pete's sake, if these rural towns are giving five by three's away for a buck, why the hell not?

 

What in hells bells is a five by three?

 

Metric equivalent of a 2x4?

 

I think it's an apartment.

 

I live in Australia and I've never heard of a five by three in a context that doesn't incluse bizzarre sexual practices.

 

You all wanna know wut happened to all the "men" in Australia? I'll tell you. I know this because I saw with my own two eyes.

They pissed off Mad Max so he killed them all. Lesson learned. Don't take the piss with the Road Warrior.

K, bye.

 

So it's not a piece of wood?
Or a flat (apartment)?
Or a flat piece of wood?

 

Five bedrooms, three bathrooms?

 

... That's a big fuckin' house. Seriously, I've never heard that terminology used before.

 

Ah, well. I've been reading the papers quite a bit trying to find a place. The more common 'large house' for sale is a four bed two bath.

But seriously. If you want to find a cheap place to live, head to town. Like I said, they're practically giving the land away. We have heaps of plans in place, but unfortunately for the country folk, we're only going to town if the city can't provide.