How the FUCK did this make it past the U.S. Censors?

It's a TENTACLE touching her butt! *twitch* Gray is human, confused, and the poor recipient of Sarisa's bad mood. (Plus he has an awesomescarf.)

 

As promised, more Sarisa-and-Octo-Diablo-WTFery.

Devilish Return
Sarisa: I read in a book once... well, maybe we could knot up its tentacles so it gets all trussed up. Or maybe... *screen shakes* Cut it out, Lena! Quit poking me!
Me: I didn't touch you!
Sarisa: You really didn't tap me? What, did I just imagine it? It felt too real for that... Ew. I'm having a deja vu. I can't stop shivering.

***

Sarisa: The giant octopus sightings all came from around here. But there doesn't seem to be anything out of place. Is it lurking underwater or something? Hm, where could it be? That way? Or over this way?
*noises*
Me: Octopus!
Sarisa: Huh? Wha...? Yikes! Tentacles on my leg! You slimy mollusc, let me go! This situation... it's the same as before. So it wasn't deja vu!
*screen starts shaking*
Sarisa: Urk! Whoa, hold it. Let me go! Don't touch me there! No! Stop! Cut it out! Pfft... A ha ha ha! N-Nooo! I'm ticklish! A ha ha ha ha! I c-can't breathe! Lena, help me!

*cue player facepalm and a boss fight*

*back at the guild, gettin' paid...*

Gray: By the way, what's with the glum look, chum?
Sarisa: Oh... Don't worry about it.
Fray: Your clothes are all filthy, too. What, did that octopus get frisky with you or something?
Sarisa: *screams* Just drop it, okay?
Gray: Uh, sorry. I didn't realise it was such a personal question.

*Xiao facepalms and demands her money*

Mayor's Quest

(I know I said it was Mayor's Mission, but that's the name of the previous quest in the string.)

Sarisa: Ewww, that octopus! I can't take that grotesque form. I feel faint...

(Bonus points for using grotesque in the proper context, I guess...)

Sarisa: Wah! Don't you dare! Quit pointing those squirmy tentacles at me! I never knew I could come to hate something so intensely. I just can't take this! I'm not going to be sick. My knees aren't going to shake. I won't run away.

*bossfight, facepalm, the Mayor sent us here to - get this - steal slime from the raping octopus to use as hair restoration, and so a thousand Rule 34 images were born. So very NSFW!*

And now, I'm out of here. I will get the fucking Reve ending to this game or die trying.

 

This thread reminded me of a game I played way back in the dark ages: Wizards & Warriors. There was a point in the game where you encounter a succubus, and she sends you on a side quest to find some kind of horn or tusk thingy. Well, when you find it, you may notice it has a distinctly phallic shape, and when you bring it back to her, she tells you to use it... on her. So you can equip it from your inventory and click on her with it and she starts making orgasmic moaning sounds.

Best side quest ever. Lousy game though.

 

Do you mean the original for the nintendo or the fagfastic 3D rip off of Wizardry? They both sucked, I never got past the raped-by-goblins part at the relative beginning of the 2000 version.

If it's the original, then the orgasmic moaning is probably 8-bit MIDI at which point I'm not gonna fuck about with finding it...

 

It was the 2000 version. And yeah, the difficulty on that game was wack.

 

Wrong. Only one of them did.

 

The original sucking was implied when they developed it for the Nintendo...

 

That's the one that didn't suck. Don't know about the other one though.

 

Minor update on the sheer WTFery of the original subject. I thought the game was PG. I was wrong. It's rated... E for Everybody.

What. The. FUCK.

 

Alzheimer's.

 

I think the revelation happened before she created the thread. =p

 

...FUCK. I apparently need to get more sleep before I post here. I could have SWORN I wrote PG in the original post...

Fuck.

 

PG isn't a North American standard for video games.

 

I'm from Australia. I only ordered PSZero from the U.S. because it's looking increasingly unlikely that it's gonna get released here. (And because it's a fuckload cheaper...)