Hello there

Me neither.

 

I took the Magic the Gathering 'What colour are you?' test today, and that it was black. Surprised?

 

We all seem to be one of three things...

*Sylvester McCoy voice* 'EVIL FROM THE DAWN OF TIME!!'

or...

*The New Master voice* 'Oh, the mask? It's for the gas.' 'What gas?' 'That gas!' *everyone else dies*

or...

*Xzar voice* 'Ah! Burn it! BURN IT! ... You're in league with the RABBITS!'

What a lovely dysfunctional family we are.

 

It looks like I am almost the polar opposite to this whole forum. Thank God there is Arcanum to keep us all together. Sorry if you thought I was just bumping threads before Xiao.

 

Oh, I almost forgot. The token...

*Anomen voice* 'For the ORDER!'

There's always one innocent amongst the psychos.

*cough* YOU! You're in league with the RABBITS! *insane giggle*

 

Or these three things...

'My heart is black, and I am proud of it!'

Or...

'Am I Evil?' Yes I am!'

or...

'I have a heart? Oh, I left it in my other jacket'

 

Aw, c'mon. Remember, there's lots of blues *blek* and reds *wheeeee!* here, and I needed to bring them in too.

Is it wrong that I'm now considering myself the 'Xzar' of the forum? Frequently random, often outright insane, occasionally all too lucid... Yeah, sounds about right...

 

Okay, let's see:

'Knowledge is power'

'Divide and conquer!'

'I shall wade into the sea of blood of my dead enemies!'

'Destroy everything in your path!'

No, it is okay be insane.

 

Oh god... mental image of some of us, BG-style... Please bear with me...

Zanza (LG Paladin): For JUSTICE! *brandishes sword*
Arthgon (NE Assassin): One stab in the back, that's all I ask...
Yuki (N Druid): No, we still need him. Meatshield, remember?
Arthgon: As soon as we find a new meatshield, he's going to suddenly appear in some Kobold's cookpot...
Vorak (LE or NE Fighter/Necromancer): He doesn't need to be breathing to be a meatshield.
Puppy (N Werewolf): Can I have his femur?
Xiao (CN Evoker): Why hello there Mr. Shop of the Books! What do you... have... AIYA! DIE FOUL SPARKLEPIRE! *incinerates bookstore* YOU! You're one of SMeyer's mindless pawns! DIE! *incinerates some poor innocent bystander*

...This fills me with joy.

 

Oh oh... Do the romances and storyline interactions next please!

 

... Okay, I'll try... Assuming that Arthgon is the Bhaalspawn and Yuki the voice of reason (a.k.a. Jaheira)... *ahems* Please don't kill me Zanza, but you're the only good character amongst sociopaths and lunatics.

There Will Be No Romance Here
A random forest somewhere. Yuki sits on a fallen tree. Arthgon approaches.
Arthgon: So, uh, Yuki...
Yuki: Creeping Doom. Boxer shorts.
Arthgon: *wince* Never mind...

So This Bhaalspawn Walks Into A Bard...
Some insane mage's hidey-hole. There's a certain odeur de sewer about the place. The party has just slaughtered said insane mage and freed a Tiefling Bard. He's a very pretty man.
Arthgon: *interrupting* Yeah, yeah, Sparrow, flying, I dig. Can we just get out of here now?
Xiao: *wide-eyed* Sooooo pretty... *pounces Haer'Dalis from behind, and ends up hanging from his shoulders and giggling madly. She's so tiny he's not even unbalanced* You're gonna be my snuggle-kitten!
Puppy: Don't mind me, I'm just going to dig a new hole out back of the Copper Coronet.
Zanza: What for?
Puppy: ...Paladins.
Arthgon: Can we at least wait until Raelis pays us?
Puppy: ...Fine. But I get his liver.
Haer'Dalis: I think I'd be safer in prison.

Seriously. No Romance Here.
A walkway at the top of Waukeen's Promenade. Xiao's watching the people go by with a less demented than usual expression on her face. Arthgon appears just as she casts a spell.
Arthgon: So, Xiao, I was wondering...
Xiao: SHHH! Wait wait wait wait!
Arthgon: Huh?
Xiao: 3... 2... 1... *some unfortunate passer-by explodes into flame* Eragon goes BOOM!
Arthgon: You know what, it's not important. *flees*

Necromancy versus Evocation
The bottom of the secondary thieves guild in the Docks district. The party, joined by Vorak in a fetching blood-red robe, has just put down the former leader and are happily looting the bodies. Well, some of them are anyways.
Vorak: Explosions are all well and good, foolish girl, but nothing holds a candle to the power to leech a man's soul out through his mouth.
Xiao: But I can set people on fire!
Vorak: I can bring them back from the dead when you're done and make them into my slaves.
Xiao: >_< I can kill them again!

The Danger Of Third-Party Romances
A ruined temple somewhere in the middle of 'Deliverance' nowhere. The party is set up around a fire. Vorak is sitting slightly apart from the rest, sharpening his sword methodically. Arthgon wanders over.
Arthgon: Um, Vorak, I...
Vorak: No.
Arthgon: *blinks and shakes his head a bit* Oh god! What was I doing?!?!
Disembodied Voice: *giggles*
Arthgon: Oh, fuck you! You promised me no mods!
Disembodied Voice: I'm trying to get you laid!
Arthgon: *gags*
Vorak: *raises a hand and casts a spell*
Disembodied Voice: *hurk*
Arthgon: Did you just kill the...?
Vorak: Yup.
Arthgon: That's hardcore!

All Tooled Up And No Wrongs To Avenge
The Copper Coronet, late evening. Puppy wanders back in, splattered with dirt and mud and looking very pleased with himself. He sits himself down at the same table as Yuki and orders an ale. Zanza approaches.
Zanza: Master Puppy...
Puppy: *snigger*
Zanza: *gamely pushing on* I cannot help but notice that you spend an inordinate amount of time digging holes behind this inn.
Puppy: Well...
Zanza: And that every time you dig a hole, someone disappears.
Puppy: Yeah, but...
Yuki: He's a werewolf, Zanza. It's in his nature to dig holes.
Zanza: But that does...
Yuki: And where did you hear this nonsense about people disappearing? From these greasy barflies?
Zanza: *sheepish* Yes mi'lady.
Yuki: You'd believe the words of some drunken louts over the word of your loyal travelling companions?
Zanza: *ashamed* No, I would not. Sir Puppy, I apologise profusely. I will go and repent my sins. *leaves*
Puppy: Yuki, you're awesome.
Yuki: Damn straight.

Random shit is fun to write!

 

I'll second that motion!

Loved reading these snippets.

 

A third vote from me. That was highly entertaining (just what I needed to take my mind off exams) thank-you. Also, I'd love to see more members in cameo roles.



That doesn't address my manic streak, or my obsession with books.

 

I'll third that motion!

I always pictured my Paladins to be a little more like Keldorn, you know, sending your wife to the stockades when you find out she has been cheating on you. None of that forgive me I'll hang up my Warhammer now rubbish, that is something I always pictured Anomen to do the little pretty boy.

 

I find it amusing that this thread has once again degenerated into mindless spam.

Oh, and I turned out blue. Not at all surprising.

 

Well at least we have one green person. Philes, after all this time, would you expect any less of us?


Oh, and back on topic: I'm going to start concocting a zombie deck this weekend.

 

I love the part where I'm awesome. :lol:

 

I love the part where we will show up one day outside your house/school and save you from the demonish hell you live in ^^