Going feral

Wilderness? Australia?

Hope ytzk is enjoying his new life as a breathing cocoon for giant spider offspring.

 

No, I mean silicosis.

Pneumonoultlramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconeosis is a form of silicosis caused by even smaller silica particles that are launched from a volcano, and not something I'd regularly come into contact with while using power tools on steatite.

An asthma attack can be triggered by silica, but asthma itself isn't caused by inhaling silica.

 

Still, the word was long and had volcano in the middle. I'm easily amused.

 

About 15 years ago I tried to use it as one of my self-chosen vocabulary words. My teacher said no.

Hydroinframacroscopicaluminacrevasseohypoxia.

A disease you get from choking on lumps of aluminum you find in water that's in a valley.

 

The giant spiders are okay.

They at least keep the deadly snakes under control.

Besides, it's all about the environment to which you're are adapted. I doubt I'd have the software necessary to safely negotiate the streets of london, let alone a pub in wales. Now that's wilderness!

As it is, rule (1), (2) and (3) is Watch Your Step, and you're okay.

The real buggers around here are the paralysis ticks but, lucky me, I have developed enough of an allergic reaction that I can sense them as soon as they try to dig in, rather than hours or days later when they are entrenched and you're sick with toxins.

It's no different to walking down a busy street, really, if you know the rules by which everyone is playing.

 

I have to say, you're not really selling me on your new lifestyle.

Then again, if we all turned up, it wouldn't really be the wilderness any more. Good job.

 

Paralysis ticks? That sounds terrible. And the onset of symptoms looks eerily like a rapid-onset muscular dystrophy.

 

The ticks tend to affect our pets more than people but still nasty either way.

 

Well, if statistically there's a 1/75 chance of being bitten by one of those ticks (given only the amount of tick species known in Australia and an {unlikely} equivalent distribution of all of them), I'd still like to be less than 5 days away from a good hospital.

I'd also leave sausage casings full of warm blood out to distract them.

It's like all the continents drew lots in a "Get the most dangerous animals" contest, and Australia won.

Bulldog ants, paralysis ticks, box jellyfish, tiger snakes...and you even have poisonous snails in the ocean, plus poisonous octopuses. What the hell, guys?

 

And we know how to sink a beer!

 

It's awesome, isn't it?

You have no idea how many ticks and bullants there are here where I'm staying. It's near a remnant of gondwana rainforest and the invertebrate diversity is fantastic.

My favouritest monster evar is Myrmecia nigrocinta, aka Jumping ant, aka Jumper, aka Giant Jumping Ant of Doom.

They are like The Bullant, a close cousin, but slightly smaller, only slightly. Their real distinguishing feature is their acrobatics. Basically they are the ninjas to the samurai that is the bullant.

Walking down the laneway once I came upon a big, red, solitary bull ant, walking the other way. I stepped aside to let it pass and bowed to it. It seemed to size me up and then walked on by.

Jumping ants, on the other hand are not so easily dealt with. They travel in packs, and leap from trees. Walking down a path I was stabbed in the throat by a ninja attack jumping ant. It feels like several paper-wasp stings at once. I ripped it off (they grip with pincers, stab with stinger) and threw it to the ground. It landed on its feet and did a quick jump back into ready position facing me. I ran away with my hands in the air.

After I got my breath back I wondered, "Has the world gone topsy-turvy, that a man should be bested by an ant?" And the answer of course is yes. Australia.

 

See, now, if you were permanently in a state of semi-arousal, like Grossenschwamm, you could have slapped it to death with your sausage casing full of warm blood.

 

Run into any hoop-snakes or drop bears? I used to love explaining what they were every six months to the new batch of American Uni Students we would get.

 

Agreed, but this was brought up in such a leading way that I am tempted not to encourage the passive nature of the introduction with an actual request for clarification.

 

I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered.

 

That's what your mom said.

 

What.

 

That's what I said after she said what she said.

 

That actually made me laugh out loud.