Fucking reindeer

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005.

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  1. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    #1
    Yesterday, your deer Dark Elf managed to ram into a reindeer with his car. He was driving from Botsmark to Umeå when he met with a car. When the meeting car had passed by and DE could turn his main beams on again there suddenly were a legion of reindeer on the road. There was no way DE could had avoided the critters, nor did he have any chance to bring his vehicle to a halt. Consequently, DE's car suffered a direct hit with one of the reindeer, and both car and Sami livestock ended up in the ditch. Fortunately enough for DE, a trucker came and dragged his car up on the road again. Said trucker also provided DE with a big fat wrench with which he could take revenge on the reindeer (the fucker had refused to die, probably out of spite).
    DE's car was still working, so he could drive back to Botsmark. However, his lights are all broken, his grill is in pieces and the hood of the car is severely dented. DE now hates the Sami more than ever before. Fortunately enough though, a brother-in-law of DE has got lots and lots of Mercedes parts lying around, so perhaps things will work out for him anyway.

    Disclaimer: No DE's were hurt during the production of this car accident.
     
    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    #1
  2. Sofokl

    Sofokl New Member

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    Sofokl, Dec 14, 2005
    Sofokl, Dec 14, 2005
    #2
    If you would drive a "KAMAZ" truck, reindeers would become a bloodporridge.
     
    Sofokl, Dec 14, 2005
    Sofokl, Dec 14, 2005
    #2
  3. Xiao_Caity

    Xiao_Caity New Member

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    Xiao_Caity, Dec 14, 2005
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 14, 2005
    #3
    Dude. A fucking REINDEER?? Holy shit.
     
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 14, 2005
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 14, 2005
    #3
  4. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    Wolfsbane, Dec 14, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 14, 2005
    #4
    Yes. And as you all know, polarbears walk the streets of Stockholm. But that's just some basic information.
     
    Wolfsbane, Dec 14, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 14, 2005
    #4
  5. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    #5
    Well, we used to, then we realized Stockholm sucks.
     
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    #5
  6. mathboy

    mathboy New Member

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    mathboy, Dec 14, 2005
    mathboy, Dec 14, 2005
    #6
    I think you forgot to write about the fucking. It should probably be after you hit it, I've "heard" reindeers are pretty wild so the hit probably slowed him down enough so you were able to do it.
     
    mathboy, Dec 14, 2005
    mathboy, Dec 14, 2005
    #6
  7. Vyenna

    Vyenna New Member

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    Vyenna, Dec 14, 2005
    Vyenna, Dec 14, 2005
    #7
    Shit! you killed Rudolf? Waaaah! :cry:
     
    Vyenna, Dec 14, 2005
    Vyenna, Dec 14, 2005
    #7
  8. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    #8
    Guess Santa is going to need the musk oxen to pull the sleigh now.
     
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    #8
  9. Silvara

    Silvara New Member

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    Silvara, Dec 14, 2005
    Silvara, Dec 14, 2005
    #9
    Nah, he'll get those dogs that also pull sledges (Siberian Huskies? Something like that) and if any kids have been naughty, the dogs'll bite their hand off. Mwahaha!
     
    Silvara, Dec 14, 2005
    Silvara, Dec 14, 2005
    #9
  10. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    #10
    My neighbor has a husky. It's a big lush, the Irish Setter down the block tried to fight it one day. It ran away. Then the Setter tried to fight my Scottish Terrier. Heh, Duff beat the shit out of it. I love my dog.
     
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 14, 2005
    #10
  11. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    Jungle Japes, Dec 14, 2005
    Jungle Japes, Dec 14, 2005
    #11
    My cousin had a cat named Mr. Rogers who could whip any of the neighborhood dogs. Those stupid dogs were always scratched up and bleeding.
     
    Jungle Japes, Dec 14, 2005
    Jungle Japes, Dec 14, 2005
    #11
  12. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    #12
    My maternal grandparents had a German Shepherd who was completely insane and quite capable of beating the fuck out of basically anything. He was one of those dogs who would kill other dogs on sight, and eat cats should he get one. He once dragged their Volvo 245 a few meters until the leather lash snapped. That's quite amazing I think. Strong as a beast, that one. Unfortunately, he's dead since many years.

    Agent, may you rest in piece, and your foes rest in pieces!
     
    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    Dark Elf, Dec 14, 2005
    #12
  13. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    #13
    I was playing with my sisters pitbull one time. We were playing tug of war, and pits have that lockjaw. I picked the fucking dog up by the rope, it was hanging on by it's teeth with it's legs six inches off the ground. I held him there for like a minute before I set him down. Nuts...
     
    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    #13
  14. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    #14
    My godmother had a Rottweiler called Hobbe. He was the size of table.
    He reminded me somewhat of a shrinked bear.
     
    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    #14
  15. Xiao_Caity

    Xiao_Caity New Member

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    Xiao_Caity, Dec 15, 2005
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 15, 2005
    #15
    I used to have a little Maltese Terrier cross Chihuahua who was a fucking psycho. She was small, cute, fluffy, white, and tried to eat other dogs on sight. She actually tried to rip apart a pitbull once, I think she would've won if my sister hadn't grabbed her and hared off.

    Ahhh, Portia, my over-protective baby. I miss you so.
     
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 15, 2005
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 15, 2005
    #15
  16. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    #16
    Well, that crossing didn'r sound very healthy to me...
     
    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 15, 2005
    #16
  17. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    #17
    After Brutus' wife?
     
    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    Blinky969, Dec 15, 2005
    #17
  18. mrnobodie

    mrnobodie New Member

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    mrnobodie, Dec 15, 2005
    mrnobodie, Dec 15, 2005
    #18
    Shit DE, you got off easy. You should see what happens to a car whaen you get hit by a roo out here. At best the car's a write-off, while the fucking roo just get's up and hops away.
     
    mrnobodie, Dec 15, 2005
    mrnobodie, Dec 15, 2005
    #18
  19. Xiao_Caity

    Xiao_Caity New Member

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    Xiao_Caity, Dec 16, 2005
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 16, 2005
    #19
    And then there's the odd-chance that the roo will jump at the last second, leaving you with a thrashing psychopathic 500-kilo mass of fur and muscle trying to beat you to a pulp. Roos are bastards.

    (EDIT: I can never type when I first wake up.)
     
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 16, 2005
    Xiao_Caity, Dec 16, 2005
    #19
  20. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    Wolfsbane, Dec 16, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 16, 2005
    #20
    Ever had a goddamn moose in your lap? Isn't that funny, I assure you. Especially not when it still lives.
     
    Wolfsbane, Dec 16, 2005
    Wolfsbane, Dec 16, 2005
    #20
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