Fuck katanas.

Oh yes. In fact, I was the one to drop that amusing little bombshell. I discovered Head Injury Theatre, you see, and decided to share my amusement.

 

I think we've had a few vagina dentata conversations on this board.

*sings to the tune of Hakunamatata*

Vagina Dentata,
What a horrible phrase...
Vagina Dentata,
Ain't no passin' craze!
It means to weiner,
For the rest of your days!
It's a penis free
Girl cavity...!
Vagina Dentata!

When he was a young man's cock
(When I was a young man's cock!!)
(Very nice...)
He found the pussy's aroma
Had a certain appeal
He'd want to plow her savanna
After every meal.

I've a sensitive head
Still with my foreskin
And it hurt
When I was last put in...
And oh the pain!
(He was in pain!)
There was teeth in her cave!
(Why was there teeth?!)
She bit down hard and...
(How did it feel?!)
I never even got to -
WHOA! Not in front of the kids!
(Sorry)

It means to weiner,
For the rest of your days!
It's a penis free
Girl cavity...!
Vagina Dentata!

 

My brain is bleeding.

Hey, imagine a vagina dentata wearing dental braces.

 

The real danger is getting the tune stuck in your head. It's kind of like a barbed arrow, in that it has little trouble piercing the skull, but surviving long enough to go about getting the bastard back out...

 

Vaginal Braces?
Must be fun getting those itty bitty rubber bands in place.

 

My father slept though 80 % of the LotR-trilogy, even though we waited a year between every movie. It was his goddamn Christmas present from the rest of the family.

 

Nah, can't be fucked. The only racing movie I liked was Death Race, because, a.) ultra-violence! WOOO! and b.) Mmmm, Jason Statham... (I normally like my men slender and geeky, but the good Mr. Statham bypasses that particular preference.)

 

Ahh, death race. The only recent, potentially watchable, movie that I had to walk out on due to the massive amounts of headspin I was enduring. Bit like now, actually. Also walked out on the new Miami Vice, but that doesn't count.

Speaking of boring and Jason Statham, I am yet to watch any of the transporter movies from start to finish...

 

Hm. You know, maybe you're right. Should have guessed that something was wrong when he fell asleep the first time.

Oh, and Jason is pretty awesome. Not as awesome as, say, Brad Pitt (especially in Burn after reading), but still one of my favorite actors.

 

Oooooh, Bullet Tooth Tony. I must admit that Tony is more impressive than Turkish, but none of the characters in Snatch is better than Boris the Blade.

 

I accept that challenge!

 

...And apparently now I need to take a page from Something Positive and lay down mantraps in my vagina.

 

A trou de loup!

 

I was able to enjoy The Transporter. Although the 3rd one seemed a bit too much... And after watching it, I was confused as to why the chick on the cover had pistols in her hands...



...and right back to teeth... :facepalm:

 

Transporter 3 made me deeply frustrated for reasons I won't go into too much detail in - but they involve my 'Fuck you Hollywood, stop putting unnecessary and out of character romance subplots in my ultraviolent action films!' grumble.

*cackles* Man, I really need to actually hire Teeth now. It's at my local video hire store, but they close before I can get there. I'll pick it up tomorrow, write a review, break some brains. Might even drop a line to Head Injury Theatre.

 

"Rent" Not "Hire"
"Inches, Feet, Yards, Miles" Not "Millimeter, Centimeter, Meter, Kilometer"
"Month, Day, Year" Not "Day, Month, Year"
I'll settle for Year, Month, Day.

And FFS it's pronounced tomato! ... Oh, you get the point.