Embarrassing Stories of Being Drunk

I'm no experienced drinker myself. I've tried two different kinds of moonshine (date flavored "rum" and another colorless thing that tasted like cheap vodka) and I always drank them at a semi-quick pace from a cup, usually mixed with some other kind of juice. They both taste pretty bad but the date flavored one takes the cake. The country where I was drinking moonshine (Kuwait) prohibits alcohol completely so the point of the drink was to get drunk quickly and cheaply since buying real alcohol costs upwards of 100$ for one bottle of Red Label/Smirnoff. So it's not like they were properly distilled or anything, or like there was any attention paid to whether it would taste good or not. So it would be pretty horrible no matter how you drank it.

 

I headbutted a guy,

 

Isn't date another term for arse?

 

The only entry for that use I found comes from Australia, and specifically refers to the hole. I can see why that would taste nasty as an alcoholic beverage.
Are you familiar with all of your dialect's slang? Some people call tomato sauce "dead horse." Other people use a dyke when they have to relieve themselves, because apparently that means toilet and couldn't cause someone who's not from Australia, and heard that particular reference (as in "I'm gonna go hit the dyke"), to get the wrong idea. I'd probably be the guy to ask, "Wait...you choose one lesbian to smack around all night?"

 

We have a lot of sayings that would be considered racist in the US.

 

I knew I liked you.

 

In the north of Sweden they have a home-made Christmas confectionery made from rolled oats, butter and cocoa powder mixed together and formed into small round lumps. It's given to children as a treat.

Their name for it translates to "nigger balls".

Checkmate.

 

In the Netherlands, Santa Claus has slaves.

 

There are a lot of sayings that would be considered racist here, too...it's just that we're so far up our asses with political correctness the only people allowed to say stuff like that are people with religious inspiration to do so. But only if they're Christian. And, apparently even someone as innocent as a child can be called a racist if they don't like an ethnic food. Because not liking curry means you hate Indians.

Ah, Sinterklaas. Bringing his black boys along for the ride.

 

Yeah. While Sinterklaas originally used the conquered Moors as his servants, the blasted political correctness (that is plaguing the Netherlands these days) turned them into servants that got black by the dirt of the chimneys.

Oh man! They even changed the name of the cake Negerzoenen into Zoenen. (Sorry, I do not think there is a English word for it) How political correct can you be?

In the Netherlands we have the sayings: Zo vies als een Turk en zo zwart als een neger*. I cannot remember more at this moment.

*So dirty as a Turk or so black as a negro. I am not sure if this is correcly translated.

 

My dutch uncle works as a parole officer in far north queensland.

Having translated for me a poem from some (dark) chocolate christmas treat written in Dutch (Let me in, let me in, for although my skin is black, I'm not going to hurt you, I'm here to bring you presents) he remarked "it sounds like one of my clients".

 

A "dutch uncle" sounds like a sexual maneuver.

 

A "dutch wife" is something used in a sexual maneuver, a "dutch rudder" IS a sexual maneuver, and a "dutch uncle" is just an asshole of an uncle, but sometimes he does it because he loves you. So, probably capable of being used in a sort of sexual maneuver, or of using sexual maneuvers on other people.

 

On the one hand I'm relieved that the zeal for political correctness is not only censoring the United States of America. On the other, I'm disappointed that it has spread as far as Western Europe, where I hoped the culture and history would have been immutable.

How acceptable is this saying? By what demographics is it used?

 

I think that roughly translates to "Negro Kisses." That's an awesome cake name.
I looked up "zoenen" and pictures of people kissing came up, and as much as I wanted the cake to be called "nigger lips," I realized the Dutch didn't invent that slang and the fact that the pictures were of kissing and not just a single pair of lips would mean the name was far less offensive than I had hoped, while still being potentially offensive. If they're still chocolate, I think eventually people are going to ask why they're brown and called "zoenen," but that's just the racist in me.

 

While I not sure about the demographics, I am sure that these sayings are very acceptable in the Netherlands. They are very much used here.

You should know that cake is very tasty as well.

Yes. It just sounds weird without the Neger, indeed. "Wil je een zoen bij de koffie?' ("Do you want to have a kiss by the coffee?") [/quote]

 

Is the cake that crappy liquorice flavored bread?

 

Well, asking if they want a negro kiss by the coffee just sounds like a kiss delivered with a certain flair developed by black people to me.

 

TDC: No. It is not a crappy liquorice flavored bread, but consists of lightly sweetened protein foam (lightly beaten egg white) on a wafer covered with a thin layer of chocolate. The delicacy considered as a simple variant of the moorkop.

Gross: I know. As if you rather want to have a kiss of a Negro than of a Dutch woman.

http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bestand:Ne ... rsnede.jpg

 

We have those negerzoenen around here, but simply call them warm ice cream. Needs more racism.

We do have a chocolate cake whose name can be translated as little nigger, so I guess that fills the void.