DR Congo sues Norway for $500 billion

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Xz, Aug 28, 2009.

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  1. Muro

    Muro Well-Known Member

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    But then again, who knows, if the Heavens are like Earth in this particular matter, maybe "babies to 15-years old" are the only virgin huris left. Oh, I forgot, they are regenerative virgins. Yep, what could be better than a women which bleed every time you have sex with her.
     
  2. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    It actually figures. Consider the moral foundation of the Abrahamic religions - everything that is fun is wrong. Sex? Drinking? Gambling? Cursing? Wanking? They're all sins that will send you to everlasting torment. In paradise however one would simply have to assume that those things are permissible, otherwise it would pretty much fail the definition of a paradise.

    So, if the same logic applies to menstruating women, the authors of the Abrahamic scriptures were more fucked than I already thought they were.
     
  3. mrnobodie

    mrnobodie New Member

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    Au contraire sir, I disagree...


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  4. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    All the Congolese have to do now is to claim that Bill Gates is the King of Norway.
     
  5. Grakelin

    Grakelin New Member

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    I wish I could sue a country for $500 billion just because somebody who lived near me died.

    What's DRC going to do if Norway refuses to join them, anyways? Invade? Hahahaha.
     
  6. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    This just in: DRC reduced the claim to a mere $5 billion dollars. Still a ridiculous claim though.
     
  7. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    I bet Congo is as desperate for money as that "friend" who sent me a text message to repay the 150 SEK I supposedly owe her for some gas she paid for LAST FUCKING SUMMER.

    She provided me with an account number and everything.

    She's my brother's girlfriend's sister, and both are equally stingy.
     
  8. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    Live rates at 2009.09.02 14:19:54 UTC

    150.00 SEK = 24.9004 AUD


    Are you serious?
     
  9. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    I am. Didn't think she was though.

    I guess they just are the kind of people who come from a wealthy family, yet squabble over pennies.
     
  10. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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  11. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Nah, I just paid her the fucking money. Too silly to get worked up about really. And I recall the event in question.

    I figure I should just invite her for coffee and send her the bill five years afterwards.
     
  12. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    I might bill rroyo for that Christmas card I posted him.
     
  13. Muro

    Muro Well-Known Member

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    Keep waiting. If the tendency maintains that way, it will be 0,5 USD within a month.
     
  14. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    I thought that was an exclusively Scandinavian thing.

    The comma, that is.
     
  15. Muro

    Muro Well-Known Member

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    If I'm not mistaken, the coma in math is what seperates Europe from the barberian world.
     
  16. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    You must have interesting math classes in Poland.
     
  17. Muro

    Muro Well-Known Member

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    Ah yes, indeed, imagine all of those young tempting nurses. Invalid urinals are a little downside of the whole sitution, though.
     
  18. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Urinary catheterization is about as much fun as having your kneecaps slowly ground to dust while you're wide awake and watching it happen. Had such evil tubing plumbed into me when I got my famous scar. Which, as if it wasn't already embarrassing enough, overflowed and soaked the floor under my bed. Guess I should just be happy I didn't get it in the bed...

    Then there was the humiliation of having the whole thing pulled out by a nurse, which all but killed me. Moreover, the first time I took a piss afterwards it felt like my urethra was on fire and my prostate had been mauled by a sledgehammer.

    It's not something I recommend.
     
  19. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    While having a catheter removed is far from pleasant, it beats leaving it in there.
     
  20. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Short term pain for long term gain eh?
     
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