DR Congo sues Norway for $500 billion

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Xz, Aug 28, 2009.

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  1. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Xz, Aug 28, 2009
    Xz, Aug 28, 2009
    #1
    So we are officially screwed.

    To make a long story short, I'll provide a link to the only article in English I've come across: http://stormen.wordpress.com/2009/08/27 ... n-dollars/ (Incidentally a Norwegians blog)

    For those of you who find Norwegian to be an intelligible language more in-depth articles are available if you search the web.

    ---

    Now where the hell did they get that figure? Dr. Evil? I mean that's $125 000 USD per Norwegian citizen.

    That said I'd admit their murder case may be solid.
    The man in the picture Tjostolv Moland, claims this to be a natural reaction to having gotten away from the armed bandits who allegedly killed the driver, alive.

    If grinning like an idiot is a natural reaction when cleaning out the blood of a dead man from your car, I am the Pope.

    [​IMG]

    Best stuff I've come across is in the Norwegian papers though:

    These are the claims of the prosecution:
    -SIG(PMC) (The company run by the defendants) is an elite secret unit in HMKG(His Majesty the Kings Guard).
    -One of the defendants is a sergeant in the Norwegian army. (This evidenced by a picture of Moland in his mall security uniform.)
    -The defendants are spies from Norway seeking to destabilise DRC. (Wouldn't that being like sending a bag of sand to Iraq to make it sandier?)
    -The aforementioned mission was given by His Majesty the King.
    -Norway is a part of EU. (WTF?)

    The civil claims in the case:
    -The owner of the car that was used demands 6 million dollars.
    -The DR Congo demands $500 billion from Norway because of the spying. (For reference I add that the GDP of DR Congo is $11.2 billion.)
    -The witnesses in the case demands $10 million dollars each. (Well, aren't they trustworthy?)
    -The family of the victim (herein the victim's father, who is reported to be seven seven years older than the victim) demands $12 million.
    -The victim's labour union demands $3 million. (I can only assume that's to cover losses in future membership fees.)
     
    Xz, Aug 28, 2009
    Xz, Aug 28, 2009
    #1
  2. Muro

    Muro Well-Known Member

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    Muro, Aug 29, 2009
    Muro, Aug 29, 2009
    #2
    Damn, I can so hear him saying it in my head right now, over and over again.

    Unless we're talking 500 billion by british terms. A mere 125'000'000 USD per Norwegian, because hell, why not? Don't just stand there, prepare your wallets.
     
    Muro, Aug 29, 2009
    Muro, Aug 29, 2009
    #2
  3. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    Vorak, Aug 29, 2009
    Vorak, Aug 29, 2009
    #3
    I am taking up a DRC citizenship, I needs me some blood money.
     
    Vorak, Aug 29, 2009
    Vorak, Aug 29, 2009
    #3
  4. papa_dog_1999

    papa_dog_1999 Well-Known Member

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    papa_dog_1999, Aug 29, 2009
    papa_dog_1999, Aug 29, 2009
    #4
    I've never had anything against the DRC before....
    Now that I see they are an epicenter of stupid I have a plan.
    Let's get Bush back in office and convince him the Congo is the real storehouse of all the WMD.
    That should fix 'em.
    Then we could toss in a new government and cede them off to Norway.

    Ya. Okay. Stupid idea, but I blame the cold meds.
     
    papa_dog_1999, Aug 29, 2009
    papa_dog_1999, Aug 29, 2009
    #4
  5. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    Arthgon, Aug 29, 2009
    Arthgon, Aug 29, 2009
    #5
    Norway could also sue them for spreading false allegations. If this doesn’t work, just give them sanctions, until they will drop the charges.
     
    Arthgon, Aug 29, 2009
    Arthgon, Aug 29, 2009
    #5
  6. Transparent Painting

    Transparent Painting Well-Known Member

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    Transparent Painting, Aug 29, 2009
    Transparent Painting, Aug 29, 2009
    #6
    King Harald V is a man with a vision. The noble people of Norway need more space to live in.
     
    Transparent Painting, Aug 29, 2009
    Transparent Painting, Aug 29, 2009
    #6
  7. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Xz, Aug 29, 2009
    Xz, Aug 29, 2009
    #7
    LEBENSRAUM!
     
    Xz, Aug 29, 2009
    Xz, Aug 29, 2009
    #7
  8. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    Vorak, Aug 29, 2009
    #8
    I take it back, I want to join Norway now I want me some blitzkrieg.
     
    Vorak, Aug 29, 2009
    Vorak, Aug 29, 2009
    #8
  9. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Aug 29, 2009
    Dark Elf, Aug 29, 2009
    #9
    First Denmark sent the Middle East into bloody turmoil* after the now famous incident with the Muhammed caricatures. Then Sweden sends Israel into a rage because of the latest ramblings of our biggest tabloid.

    It's simply Norway's turn.

    *Not that that is much of an accomplishment really.
     
    Dark Elf, Aug 29, 2009
    Dark Elf, Aug 29, 2009
    #9
  10. DarkFool

    DarkFool Nemesis of the Ancients

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    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    #10
    So, when two kids are bad, what do you do? You put the kids in time out, and take away the toy. I think we need to nuke Mecca, and walk away from the Middle East.
     
    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    #10
  11. magikot

    magikot Well-Known Member

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    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    #11
    We should have done that in the 70s instead of begging and pleading with them for over a year to release the hostage students.
     
    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    #11
  12. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    Jungle Japes, Aug 30, 2009
    Jungle Japes, Aug 30, 2009
    #12
    Careful, that kind of talk may draw the attention of Charles.
     
    Jungle Japes, Aug 30, 2009
    Jungle Japes, Aug 30, 2009
    #12
  13. Mesteut

    Mesteut New Member

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    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    #13
    Revolutions are supposed to be made from the inside. If you nuked Mecca, the only good that'd to would allow for complete mobilization/blacklash of/from the Muslims worldwide. Also, that doesn't fit at all into the "Green Belt" policy U.S. was following against the Soviets at that time.

    Still, a Muslim might throw his religion aside and do such thing, but a foreigner, especially a Christian, cannot. Don't forget there are 1.5 billion Muslims worldwide. Do you want another damned world war?
     
    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    #13
  14. Muro

    Muro Well-Known Member

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    Muro, Aug 30, 2009
    Muro, Aug 30, 2009
    #14
    I would say that what every sane person wants is that every single Muslim bit the ground. It would be wonderful to do it with a snap of one's fingers, but even if we gathered 99% of all Muslims in Mecca and nuked the shit out of the place, the other 1% would only be happier to continue their sacred mission with greater force. Nuking Mecca would be a lesson to stop acting like the rulers of the world, but one can't take a lesson if he's a brainless enraged brainless lacking self-preservation brainless believing in virgins waiting for him in heaven brainless berserk brainless zombie, who is brainless.
     
    Muro, Aug 30, 2009
    Muro, Aug 30, 2009
    #14
  15. magikot

    magikot Well-Known Member

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    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    #15
    Anyone care to point out to people that believe this that the only virgins in heaven would be children, babies, and maybe some 15 yr olds? Sick fucks...
     
    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    #15
  16. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Aug 30, 2009
    Dark Elf, Aug 30, 2009
    #16
    [​IMG]

    You forgot about him.
     
    Dark Elf, Aug 30, 2009
    Dark Elf, Aug 30, 2009
    #16
  17. magikot

    magikot Well-Known Member

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    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    #17
    not necessarily. He looks old enough to buy a prostitute. Doubt he did though.
     
    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    magikot, Aug 30, 2009
    #17
  18. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Xz, Aug 30, 2009
    Xz, Aug 30, 2009
    #18
    I doubt anyone has THAT much money.
     
    Xz, Aug 30, 2009
    Xz, Aug 30, 2009
    #18
  19. Mesteut

    Mesteut New Member

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    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    #19
    About that, the "virgins" are called huris, which are heavenly creatures - with the only purpose being for sex, really. Still, they aren't going to get their way with virgins from Earth itself.

    You're free to call shennigans when a Muslim talks about how the Qo'ran supports human rights, though.
     
    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    Mesteut, Aug 30, 2009
    #19
  20. DarkFool

    DarkFool Nemesis of the Ancients

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    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    #20
    Whoa. This place sounds like we're going to start planning a genocide. XD

    Japes: I could only hope to bring him back. I could use some good entertainment.
     
    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    DarkFool, Aug 30, 2009
    #20
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