Dogs

I wonder how my dog is still alive.
I had just flushed not minutes before he got thirsty and shoved his head into the bowl.
I love my dog, but please...
He's opened the door on me, and he's seen what I do with the, "throne."
Yet he still chooses it over his water dish with clean, non-fetid water that will never be used thus.
And, I can never let his tongue near myself again.
Especially not after what I saw him do to the cat.

 

An oldie but a goodie: The way they stare at you while you undress.

 

My dog pays no attention to me when I undress, or when I'm lacking in general clothing.
When I get dressed, however, he starts wagging his tail because it means I'm going outside and I might take him with me.
The cat pays too much attention to me when I'm disrobing...it's like she's always watching me.

 

I thought Rose was married....

 

It has been my lifelong conviction that the only thing a dog is good for, is as cat food.

 

And I have always thought vice versa. God damn I hate cats! Always act like they're smarter than us just because they catch birds. Well hey cat, guess what. We can kill more birds with one shot so HA!

 

Cats are smart enough to take care of themselves, whereas a dog's too stupid to do anything except wave that tail around. Shoot the mutts.

 

Last time I looked I never had to shove a tube down my dogs mouth to feed it....well that was until after I ran in to it with the truck.

 

Do you generally force-feed cats, or what other relevance does that charming tale have to the ancient feud?

 

Well yes the problem is that I was aiming for the cat but hit the god damn dog!

 

Affix a duckbill to get more lethal coverage with that old shotgun, and you'll never fail to slay another cat!

 

Actually over here we hunt wild cats which require a real skill to hunt because they are so cunning. Wild dogs are soo easy for the fact they are usually in packs and come towards any sound you make.

 

Once, back in Sweden our dog totally devastated our living room. You should have seen the mess, luckily, I went back to the med school the next day so that I didn't was forced to clean up the bourbon on the floor and all that stuff.

 

My god it was either a big dog or a very small cat!

 

*Looks at the Topic*

Probably a big cat

 

Cats are better because they are smaller and quieter, they don't annoy or scare me, so I don't care about them.

(And I believe that I'd have a chance against a cat while a big dog'd just run toward me and eat me up.)

 

Some cats are actually really dangerous, I mean, they can scratch you in the face and bite you,and yes...

 

... and you get cancer?


I'm not sure whenever I like cats or dogs. If I would ever buy a pet, then I think a lizard would be nice. Or a capybara, since they're awesome.