Come out, Come out, whereever you Jar

Yeah..... But that's not hard... I mean, "U.S. Education System [TM]".

That should be Fictitious. And trust me, a lot of idiots are given the privilege of making government policy. They're called "Politicians" and there's no entry test.... You just have to make people vote for you... Which isn't hard.... Plus, as a worker in a Political Office, I too, am sometimes given the esteemed privilege of making policy. Like just the other day, I looked at a proposed amendment for our Environmental Protection Act and said "Yup. We should vote for that... I *think*"

So, no degree required...

 

The Positions in Jarinors' Uber-Commie-Government so far are as follows:

• Sheriff Fatman, Minister of Information. (We wouldn't want to think the stuff I'm feeding them is not the complete truth, would we?)
• Vlad the Imposter, Director of Security. (As the Minister of Security it is my job to remove any and all security threats. If I do not beat, kill, or imprison them then they will be free to become a threat again. Also, it is not good for my image if I let people think I am soft.
  
  As a side note I gained some insight into airport security in the past couple of days. I now know that large-framed, white males with a goatee, dressed in khakis are obviously terrorists and must be stopped at every check point and separated from their shoes. I am lead to believe that their shoes are the source of their power and the removal of the shoes for extended periods of time renders the terrorist ineffective.)
• DarkUnderlord, Minister of Foreign Affairs. (You know, sleep with the wives of other foreign ministers)
• gamenut, Assistant to the Director of Security. (I am sure that with Jarinor as our leader there will be many attempts on his life as well as numerous mouths to permanantly silence.)
• rosenshyne, Minister for Minstering to Ministers or Intern or Loyal Assistant to the Director of Security... (hey! i'm not chubby! i'm perfect shaped! take it back! - Also under investigation by ThreeDogs for sophistry and attempt to induce drug use in a minor - I may have a position just right for you. I have a one-eyed snake that needs a full-time carer. His name is Dick, and he's a jan-u-wine cyclops. He likes people to pet him all day long... - Jarinor)
• ThreeDogs, Chief and only Justice of the High Revolutionary Court where "Enemies of the State" are tried and executed not necessarily in that order (On the proviso that he is not the only judge. Also, he can't hang everyone - I need workers dammit!
  
  In my prisons the re-education of misguided comrads entails a vigorous and complete commitment by the bourgeoisie tainted individual to work. This means if they want to eat they must catch the rat.)
• Milo, Minister of Agriculture (I intend to use my position as Minister of Agriculture to set up a farm system to provide food for the proletariat. I will distribute this food through "The People's In'N'Out House of Anti-American Nugits & Cheze".
  
  We will grow marijuana. But we will not use this marijuana. We will sell it to the fat capatilists for obscene amounts of money (which we will, of course, distribute equally amongst ourselves).
  
  It's all a part of the fattening process. Once they are of suitable size, their nipples can be suctioned for their steroid laden milk and processed into Chezeâ„¢, for use in dipping. These steroids, along with the inherent nutritiosness of Soylent Anti-American Nugitsâ„¢ will increase the productivity of the working man exponentially.)
• Kayuga, Head of Agricultural Black Ops (Will lead covert missions to capitalist countries where he and his elite forces will kidnap the fat rich people. They will then be interned in our "agricultural camps" where they will be fed into the Nugitizerâ„¢. The working man shall grow strong on the cellulite ridden bodies of the capatilist pigs! It's funded with "government waste" and doesn't appear on any of the books. - As far as you are concerned, this "Kayuga" doesn't exist. "Soylent Nugits" are just propoganda that the capitalists use to frighten their children and prejudice them against socialism.)
• Kozmo_Naut, Minister for Space (provided you can drink, and also drink while effectively spending a whole lot of money on nothing¹ ¹Black Ops space projects.)
• Qilkatal, Minister for brainwa.... Education. (So people and children realise what a wonderfull world they live in. Disemmination of correct information to the young and impressi- ... untainted is of paramount importance.)
• mrnobodie, Minister for Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs (I'm quite used/look forward to either keeping people out or kicking them out because "they seemed funny".)

Important Facts about our Regime

• NATIONAL SPORT: KowTowing? KowTowery? Milo - On the weekends, He can double as the Minister of Hobo Dodging. (Our national sport. I'm not sure what it is. I just know that I'm good at it. I'm damn good. Some say I coulda been the best... - Milo)
• COUNTRY: Earth. I want nothing less than a worldwide regime.

^--- W00t! Yet another use for the "list" function....

Now THAT'S what I call a summary....

_________________
DarkUnderlord

Curses to the 255 character signature limit!!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DarkUnderlord on 2002-03-21 18:01 ]</font>

 

So.... How's the plans for World Domination going?