Clever gift ideas...

I need some, ASAP.

And no guns, swords, knives, bows, nunchucks, etc.

Oh, and none of this either.

 

For who?

 

My girlfriend.

Well, okay, she's not techincally my girlfriend. Funny story.

 

You can tell it if you want to.

She isn't you sister, right! (O.0)

Maybe a stone of some sort?
(Meself I gave my girl a beatiful heartshaped stone. She loves it and carry it with her all the time. )

 

Hmmm, on a scale of 1 to 10, how:
Sappy?
Funny?
And Useful?

 

I can't give you an adequate suggestion until I hear the whole thing. I just wouldn't want to give you bad advise....you know.

But here's a nice neutral gift anyone would enjoy: Futurama on DVD. That show is so fucking funny.

 

I'll try to make this brief:

Whilst flying back from Iraq on an Airforce C-17, we broke down at McCord Airforce base in Washington state. That's about ten miles from where I grew up. Had nothing to do, so I called up my ex-girlfriend who I hadn't seen in seven years. We ended up being stuck there four days, and she and I really hit it off. The only problem was, she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend (back home in Tennessee). So we just made out, nothing more.

Well, a couple weeks after I got back to Hawaii, she decided to come out and stay with me for a week. This resulted in loss of my virginity and me breaking up with my girlfriend.

Now I'm going on leave in 3 days, gonna go stay with her for a couple weeks and I need to give her a Christmas present. That a satisfactory explanation?

 

That'll about do it.

I'd suggest something along the lines of perfume or lotion. It's not too personal, but still let's her know you're interested. If you know what she uses, get that. If not, get her something you like and then see if she's wearing it the next time you see her.

 

Japes, I don't know if Zales Jewelers are doing it this year, but for the longest time they had adorable little teddy bears that held small jewel boxes.
One of those and a Black Hills gold bracelet was just the thing for my (then) future wife.

 

You can never go wrong with books... recipe books, cleaning books... yep, everybody loves books.

 

Allergic reaction? Yeah, this girl is allergic to a lot of things (one of them being latex) so that may not be a good idea.

I'm thinking maybe something mundane but with a custom engraving or something? I'd really like to get her a gun, but she's highly opposed to that idea. I may just get one anyway and suprise her by taking her to the range to learn to shoot. Of course, that shit could back-fire in a very real way...

 

Yes, don't go with the gun. Maybe after som time, but right now I think that would be a really bad idea.
A mundane with an custom engraving could do it, if you wanna go further that is.

 

Be careful Japes. I gave my girlfriend a gift once and then we got married.

 

Hmmm...I'd suggest a pet, but I don't know what she's allergic to (aside from latex...but that really only rules out a Latex Golem), and I don't know if she's even allowed pets where she lives. Also, I have no idea how close you are.

So, if all else fails, you can get her a DVD box set of her favorite show (provided she doesn't already have it), or maybe you can get her a kick-ass stereo with a five-slot cd player.

 

Play it safe. Give her the mandatory cute-teddybear-with-a-pair-of-earrings, then count the days you have left on this planet as a single, free man. Soon enough, your guns and swords will give way to brooms and paint brushes.

 

zombie movie. everyone loves movies, and scary movies are a fairly reliable pre-sex ritual. also: zombies!!! who doesn't fucking love zombies???



if she's a freak and hates zombies, get her personalized candy. NOT a fucking box of chocolates. like i love jellybellys, so fish got me a sampler box yesterday, with a cute note. you can even steal it. he wrote "sweets for my sweetie" totally gay, and i totally loved it.