Obituary, a response to the Mother's Day crisis.

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure just after the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes and factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, "whole language," and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.

At long last, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

 

I love how you applaud the industrial revolution but deride "self-seeking" sic (maybe spend more time on studying the English language and less time watching Rush L.) oh the irony.

Really? How much will a King James gets me on the black market?

 

I'm just chiming in to say that the whole McDonald's/Hot Coffee/Ouch My Lap thing has been debunked a bunch of times by now. What looks on the surface to be a frivolous lawsuit actually has merit.

It was something about the coffee being way too hot, McDonald's having been warned about the temperature of the coffee and doing nothing about it, and the severity of the woman's burns. Meaning that the her injury would not have been as severe as it was if McDonald's had kept their coffee at a safe temperature.

 

Yea Milo quoted one of my earlyer posts it must be true. Hey Milo Where the hell is my sig pic?

 

Oh shit, I forgot all about that.

I think it's done... I have to scour my hard drive. Besides, I didn't know if you'd ever be back or not. I'll have a looksee. When I find it, I'll upload it somewhere and PM you the address.

 

I was waiting coyly in the shadows for my dead sexy sig pic.

 

Ok, I couldn't find the one I made. I did find the original "dog's playing poker" pic, though. I'll whip one up for you in a little bit.

In exchange for this sig pic, you will check out www.tdzk.com and join the TerraArcanum:House of Lords alliance. It's an online game where you trade millions of dollars worth of commodities back and forth while negototiating deals and pacts with other alliances and possibly stabbing them in the back. You should be great at this, you're a lawyer for christ's sake. We need you on our side. It's also a good time waster. All you need is a browser to play. Join us. JOIN USSSSSSS.

 

TDZK? We have an alliance over there? Holy shit, why didn't anyone tell me? Sure, I *knew* about the TDZK thread, but I didn't know it was a game. Finally, a chance to do some hostile corporate takeovers and backstabbings.

 

Yeah, we have an alliance over there. And where the fuck have you been? Go over there and register an account, both you and ThreeDogs. You too, Darkwalker. Me and Sheriff Fatman have enough cash in the alliance account to set you up with decent ships right off the bat.

Join us. JOIN USSSSSSSS.

 

sons O'bitches are not letting me in.

 

spam

True

 

YOU

ARE

KIDDING.

I saw that Southpark episode in which they pictured pupils suing one another but I assumed it was an exaggeration of authors. I did hear that us legal system crossed reason boundaries more than once but this 6 year old case is just too stupid to get out of cartoon.



!!!Breaking news!!!

12year old hand filed a suit against its owner due to repeated sexual harassment. Plaintiff was kind enough to share her story with us: "I was forced to take part in hidious sexual activities. Many times." It demands 5 million dollars and separation. Perhaps dick will join hand in this suit. It has not made a stand so far.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I think I'll go register for TDKZ... got an hour or two to spare...

 

Hmm... I'm toying with the idea of giving you another 100 or 200 million credits, seeing as I now have a 1.2 billion credit personal fortune, and 3.5+ billion credits in my alliance account.

I'll have to check with my sub-commander first though, as I don't want to piss off my alliance members by giving away too much cash before we have an insurmountable fortune.

If my sub-com agrees then I'll give it to SF as usual, and he can share it out as he sees fit, although I would personally leave it in your alliance account so it gains interest, rather than spending it all on your members. Once it gains enough interest then you start to give out dividends to your members every so often anyway.

Which reminds me, I need to give out another 15 million to all my members again in another couple of days..... :razz:

 

I remember playing a demo of a game a few years back - it was a space trading game with a Monty Python-esque like twist. It was really great, you had to pay attention to what was in demand and where, you had to deal with pirates, upgrade your ship to beat your competitors and all that sort of stuff. The goal was to get to 1 million dollars/credits, whatever it was. Is TDZK anything like that?

 

Yeah, that sounds like it. $1,000,000 is nothing in this game, though. Hurry up and register, Jar. We've already got Sheriff Fatman, me, Phoenix, Lysa, Calis, Rosie, and Retard on board, along with all the Aozos people. We're waiting on you, carlstar, ThreeDogs and whoever else to hop on board.

 

Whoever said you can't buy friends, obviously didn't consult my ass, my friend.

If you chuck anymore money our way, it'll go straight in the alliance account. We're keeping our personal accounts on minimum for now, so we can kick start the alliance.

Jar, ignore my ealier PM. I didn't realise you hadn't been following the TDZK thread. I haven't really been following this one, so I didn't see your comments about wanting to join up.

All aboard!

 

i wanna join too ... time to kick ass and chew bubble gum ?

 

Carlstar's log 1272.9

Space, Register, T. Hmm how can i refuse. I will endeavour to make my self heard in this TDZK.