The internet is for porn

That just means your half-gay.

 

... But you said

Unless you were a sicko who chopped off that poor girl's finger just to insert it into your...

*remembers a certain Madman's confessional*

Righto.

 

'uke:' 'uke:' Brr ! What are you writing about ! Fibger in ass.

 

You sick, sick man.

 

See, I have a computer in my room... so I turn on some streaming video, whip it out, and cum on my hand, and then clean it up. I consider the privacy and the nice-ness of doing it in my room to be worth the clean-up.

 

The problem with your way is that you have to run to the bathroom holding your limp thing (of course you have to read that last text or look at something cool at the internet for five to ten minutes before realising the thing isn't hard anymore and you need to clean it) in your dirty hand. And that can be hard to explain if you meet someone on the way to the bathroom.

The other way to do it is having paper in your room, but that gives what your doing away too easy to any room-visitors who hasn't noticed the moans from your speakers and the two naked men on your screen.

Conclusion: Your way sucks!

Earlier today I was forced to wipe it of in a dirty T-shirt because I finished in my room thinking I had more time before someone got home.

 

Ah, you don't happen to have a brother who wears your clothes, do you? At least I hope he doesn't post here.

 

Somehow this reminds me of that Chuck Palahniuk short story Guts, where the guy masturbates in the pool and his sister gets pregnant.

 

TWO sisters...

 

Incorrect! I have box of tissues in my room, and use those. I suffer from almost year-round allergies, and so my parents believe that I keep them for a severely runny nose, and all my friends know that I masturbate, it's just something you don't mention. Oh, and nobody hears the women on either of my monitors (I have two, and watch two different movies on them), because I have wireless headphones. Anyone who enters my rooms knocks, and waits for me to yell my approval before entering.
Where as you do it on your knees (ready for a cock in your mouth!) in front of the toilet, and see how far you can shoot. I have porn, you have flowery walls. I have comfy leather chair, you have sore knees.

Conclusion: Your way sucks!

Blinky, I don't think that mathboy actually has a sister, I think that they were just saying if, sorry.

 

Pffft... I dunno what all the fuzz is about really. Like no one here has ever inserted a finger or something else into their arsehole whilst jerking off or having sex? Jeez. Never heard about experimenting? Eh? Never heard about enhancing da pleasure? What's so cool about cumming if you don't at least try to put a little variation into it?
I suggest all of you (including the ladies) try masturbating with a cucumber stuck up your arse. It's fuckin' awesome, I tell you. You'll cum screaming like a pig that's being butchered. I also suggest you use lots of vaseline to insert it, because otherwise it might hurt like hell. Also: loosen up that sphincter a little, before inserting the vegetable. Start with one lubricated finger and gradually insert more fingers. Once you've managed to insert 4 or 5 fingers, it should be no problem whatsoever to stick that cucumber up your arse. Trust me: I know.

 

Stick is given from mathboy to DarkFool and then to me: your way sucks. I don't wonder if you ask someone to hold his dick in your ass while you're masturbating. Try it if you didn't already. experiment

 

You know floyd, as much as I think some people might have fun with that, sticking fruit up my ass just doesn't turn me on.

 

You know, I hear that if you really want an explosive orgasm, you should use a stick of dynamite instead of a cucumber. They say the pleasure is so intense, you can't even scream.

 

I think that for myself, and a fair number of us, it's just too wierd to shove something up our ass to be turned on by it... sorry Floyd, you're just a freak. You're an American'ren't you? You've to be, because I don't think Australians come that dumb.

P.S: Softkil, nice retort.

 

Last night I stuffed 2 onions, 1 stapler, 16 Skittles, 3 Cheerios, 4 ultra soft tissues, 6 walnuts and a copy of The Catcher in the Rye up my arse. And: at the same time. Then I masturbated and squirted my load so hard, it stuck to the ceiling. Then I drank 3 litres of orange juice and shat everything out. The Cheerios weren't even damaged, so I put them back in the box. :lol:

No, seriously, you guys: I never put stuff up my shitpipe. I just posted that crap to see how you would react to it. You guys need to learn a thing or two about humor.

I do, however, and quite often I might add, put a finger up my girlfriend's arse while I fuck her doggystyle. She digs that. You should hear that little horny bitch moan when I do shit like that to her. It's a tiny sphincter, though, and it can't hold more than three fingers. We've already tried to trust my big fat cock up her butt, but my dick is just too big for her little arsehole. Even with half a jar of vaseline, she still feels like - and I'll quote her exact words - she's shitting out her soul. Woohoo!

In my next post, I'll discuss how anal rape can save your cat's life and yours! (No guarantee.)

 

Well, I'm happy it was joke. You also must learn much about humor. So, how does anal rape save someone's life? I bet your girlfriend's face was like when you raped her in ass.

 

Hey Sofokl!

And you know it's not natural, don't you?
Anyway: when I sodomized my biatch (which - as I already said - kinda sorta failed due to the size of my penis, which is - simply put - gigantic), her face was more like uch: and mine like :realmad:. It helped her to get rid of her haemorrhoids, though. :lol: