You're all gonna die!

Ah, yeah... I'm sure there's a logical reason for that... *hides the handcuff keys in her shirt when noone's looking...*

 

*starts chuckling wickedly*

Eeeeexcellent.

*frees Telcontar, because he might NOT want to see this*

Hmmm, which outfit to wear when spending the evening both tormenting and tempting mages? The short 'half-robes' I got from this angry wizard called Edwin, or that leather armour I found in Madam Lil's? Decisions, decisions...

 

The... armour. Definetly. That'll give you a more "dominant" look.

 

I'm very surprised that you found me. I say "seven" because I made two oceans. Maximus should already know where one is. On a side note, they're made of heavy water.
The fifth is around antarctica.
And, yeah, the armor. It's always fun if you don't really "need" it.

 

This arm-our you speak of...? Is this that strange, tin suit that some men wear? The type that makes them taste like canned food?

 

Or your colon.

 

All of my life i have been looking for a woman like you.
Does that mean i can serve you, your holyness with no initiation of torture or pain?

 

Xiao, when you get bored of him you can borrow my mass grave for his body. There, that's all I'm giving you Tel.

 

You are all too late, pathetic humans, your time is up! Run and hide if you can, but Phobos is now on a collision course with earth and will smite you and your little dog too!

Impact will be in the Atlantic ocean (sorry Grossen, bad place for a base...) and after the collision, a huge tidal wave will wipe out most of the coastal cities. The aftermath will blanket the earth in a choking cloud of ash and soot that will plunge the planet into a two year winter of darkness where most terrestial life will cease to exist. Prepare yourselves for the End.

(Except Caity and her amazon armor, she can steal away on the secret escape shuttle...) *wires coordinates*

The rest of you will now be judged by the Blind Godess of Fate. Mwa Haa Haaa! *evil laugh fadeout*

 

Like I said, I made two more oceans that few people know about. If it's hitting the Atlantic, I'm gonna be fine. The base you saw was that of my good friend Chris. I gave him a tungsten cocoon, just in case he made himself too obvious.
I thought you were on top of things, Maximus...
By the way, if you see any more movement out of the atlantic, it'll be my buddy scrambling to his AA (Anti-Apocalypse) guns.
They don't work.

 

What?!! Damn lowest bidders shafted me again! No bother though, I'm sure between the tidal wave and ensuing siesmic destruction you and your imaginary oceans will get destroyed as well. Now if you were possibly hiding in the middle of the Pacific, perhaps you might be spared...

...Though we have ways of dealing with troublemakers....

 

Maximus why do you need to kill us all exactly?
And if you do who is going to cook for you hmmmm?
There has to be a select few whom you will let live.

 

Mostly because I'm bored and it seemed funny to me at the time.

Of course, not everyone will be annihilated, only those who can't protect themselves from armageddon.... Anyways, you've all at least been warned of the End Days, unlike the unsuspecting masses.

Also, someone's going to have to run the child-labor factories and govern over the fuedal city-states that'll spring up, as well as fill positions like Minister of the Secret Police and Dread-Lord of the Armies.

 

Yes. My oceans are just as imaginary as your ability to send Phobos crashing into earth.

 

It takes a genius to generate ideas to destroy the earth, but maximus only a TRUE genius would actually carry out the idea.