You know what really grinds my gears?

When people get annoyed when people use the word 'literally' when they mean 'figuratively'. Obviously, they're using the word 'literally' figuratively, so it doesn't really fucking matter if they say it or not; they're not confusing the two meanings, they're including the word in the figurative speech, so shut the fuck up.

And that, people, is what grinds my gears.

 

So, who corrected you wayne?

 

I doubt that the majority of people who use "literally" in place of "figuratively" realize they are being ironic. I think it has become one of those modes of communication that people parrot and while they're aware of the connotative meaning of what they're saying, they're unaware of the denotative structure of what they're saying.

I may be an asshole, but I don't think it hurts to remind people that they're not really doing what they think they're doing.

 

Jesus, I was trying to make a thread where we can complain about petty irritants. Fuck you guys.

 

Then you should have called the thread "Who needs a complaint about a petty irritant?"

 

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Threads about petty irritants are petty irritants. Nah not really, I make them all the time.

I find people who get in my way to be annoying. Say you're walking on a pavement and someone's coming the over way; out of courtesy you've moved as far to the opposite side as you can, but they're still coming straight for you. Eventually you have to step on the grass or whatever is at the side of the pavement because otherwise there would be a collision, which would be completely unnecessary if the person was even slightly considerate. I don't even think people do it to feel superior for making me walk on the grass (or some similar motivation), I think they're just too self absorbed to care.

That, and gaggles of people who cut in front of you when you're walking - say if they've just crossed the road - and then walk much slower than you.

That, and cyclists who - when you've got to one side of the pavement as before - carry on coming straight for you even though they're vastly more maneuverable than you and it wouldn't be any effort for them to get out of your way.

 

You know what really grinds my gears?

Fat bastards in suits and power-ties who expect right of way in public. Fuck off, fatty, your petty office hierarchy has no meaning here.


Also, sport. Fair enough, exercise and recreation for the domesticated humans; it seems pathetic to run in circles around a field for want of wilderness to roam, but it fills a need. What grinds my gears is the waste of time and money spent making such a big deal of it. Most people just watch it and gamble on it. The minority of people who do play it are 'heroes' due to some prehistoric instinct when actually, they achieve sweet fuck all for the betterment of the world. And then there's the final fifteen minutes of the news: politics, war, disaster then suddenly "today another random bunch of monkeys chased a ball back and forth across a paddock." It's just so, so stupid; it really grinds my gears.

 

I thought of another one - people who are averse to some products because they contain "chemicals". I can tell you can practically hear the snort in my laugh when I say everything is made of chemicals, but it's true.

 

And all food is organic since its made of carbon chains. And 'organic' pesticides often aren't.

It grinds my gears that people don't use words that mean what they mean.

 

People who don't understand why sport is amazing grind my gears. Oh and cogs too.

 

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I understand perfectly why sport is amazing, that is, why it continues to amaze some people.

I also understand why monkeys shit in their hands and fling it at their enemies, but that does not recommend it to me.

 

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You're beginning to grind my gears with your gear grinding tone there mate.

 

My cubicle mate has recently taken to brewing his coffee at home and bringing it to work in a Thermos. Nothing wrong with that, but as a matter of course he fills his mug from his Thermos while still in the cubicle.

As petty as this is, it really grinds my gears because the glug glug sound of the pour just sounds so damned smug. I all hear is "glib glib glib." I don't look over at him, but I imagine him wringing his hands in gleeful anticipation, which is ridiculous because if his hands are dedicated to wringing one another, what is conducting the pouring?

 

Yes, very good; you've spotted reference.

 

You know what really grinds my gears? When an event or experience proceeds differently from how I would have ideally liked it to occur.

 

I agree of that, it happens to me all of the time.

 

It grinds my gears that all the other students at my school walk around with their eyeballs perpetually locked on their cellphones.