Xiao has a new political party

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Ramidel, Dec 11, 2009.

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  1. rosenshyne

    rosenshyne New Member

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    I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost 6 years now, barring 2 months this summer. Its been the greatest, most rewarding thing I've ever done...


    And someone needs to fucking hire me full-time before I go crazy and shoot up a supermarket.
     
  2. papa_dog_1999

    papa_dog_1999 Well-Known Member

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    You know, if these women would simply just get back in the kitchen and start making sandwiches, they would be amazed at just how much better their lives would be.
     
  3. magikot

    magikot Well-Known Member

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    What?
     
  4. papa_dog_1999

    papa_dog_1999 Well-Known Member

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  5. Grakelin

    Grakelin New Member

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    Papa was right the first time. If they want to be alive, they need to get back in the kitchen.
     
  6. Xiao_Caity

    Xiao_Caity New Member

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    Wanna borrow my compound bow, or are you more of a sniper rifle type person? Heck, I could probably wrangle a few grenades if you want to really rip the place apart. *brings up some files on her computer* It's more expensive if you want the untracable stuff, of course, but if you don't mind shifting the heat onto a group that pisses you off...
     
  7. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    My cousin has an AK4 in his box room, it's more useful in a crammed supermarket environment than bows and sniper rifles will ever be.
     
  8. Grakelin

    Grakelin New Member

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    In the supermarket I once worked in, I determined that an MP5 or similar would work best Lots of tight corners and things, with a necessity for an autofire function and the ability to catch people before they get to cover.

    I remember penning an action movie script in which the produce department tried to take over the place. It was quite exciting. People being eaten by ravenous lobsters, and such. Even a swordfight or two. I stopped writing when the turnover rate at the store meant that most of the characters, including the father-figure mentor and the diabolical fascist produce boy, no longer worked there.
     
  9. Xiao_Caity

    Xiao_Caity New Member

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    o_O You, uh, still got that, Grak? Because it sounds like EXACTLY the thing I need to cheer me up right now. (I'm in that dreaded between-story blackness when there's not much I can do with what I was previously working on and I don't have anything to be working on... Baldur's Gate fics don't count.)
     
  10. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    An ice pick. Simply come up from behind someone and stab directly into their heart. Of course, this involves a bit of stealth and timing, but what great plan doesn't?
     
  11. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    There is another great plan that you can use is to try to club someone to death with a frozen chicken, and after that, you can cook and eat the murder weapon. It is not expensive, and very tasty.
     
  12. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    A short story written by Roald Dahl involved a woman killing her husband with a frozen leg of lamb, then cooking it and serving it to the police investigating the crime.
     
  13. Xiao_Caity

    Xiao_Caity New Member

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    Roald Dahl wrote that?

    My appreciation for the man (already pretty high - I loved his autobiographies) has just skyrocketed. I need to track that down. I don't suppose you remember the name of the story, do you?
     
  14. TheDavisChanger

    TheDavisChanger Well-Known Member

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    I saw that in an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Are you certain that was Roald Dahl's work?
     
  15. GrimmHatter

    GrimmHatter Active Member

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    That plot has almost reached urban legend status. There are most likely 10 or 20 other, similar versions of the same story in just as many cultures crediting just as many authors with the "original" work...not just Hitchcock and this Dahl guy.
     
  16. Grakelin

    Grakelin New Member

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    Roald Dahl is the guy who wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Grimm.
     
  17. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Lamb to the Slaughter, by Roald Dahl. I advise you to not read the summary, and instead just go for the short story. I only used the wiki entry to verify my post.
     
  18. Xiao_Caity

    Xiao_Caity New Member

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    Ooooooooooooh. I like. Thanks Gross! That's one of the weirder but more amusing murders I've read in a while. Mwahah.
     
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