The Chuck Norris paradox

They could win if he was drugged with fourteen times the deadly doze of Valium to elephants. But it would be a narrow victory. Maybe a 35-40% chance.

 

If that. Chuck has such control over his metabolism that he would have to want to be drugged for anything to take effect. If that was the case, Chuck Norris would need to WANT to lose. If THAT was the case, then Chuck Norris would achieve his optimal outcome by losing, and therefore he would win.

 

This I've got to read.

 

The Chuckadox (as we call it in the trade) is a version of the heavy rock paradox.
Can an omnipotent god create a rock so heavy that even he cannot lift it? The answer is yes.
How can this god be omnipotent if lifting the rock is beyond his power? Simple. At the moment of creation the rock is too heavy for the god to lift. But if the god wishes to lift it he can increase his power thus enabling him to lift the rock.
So to answer the Chuckadox: Chuck Norris can punch hard enough to knock out a Chuck Norris. However at the moment of impact the Chuck Norris becomes strong enough to withstand the blow. Basically they would continue to beat each other until the end of time.

 

But the real question is why would a God lift an unliftable rock when smiting it is faster, easier, and looks cooler?

 

Well the philosopher who originally came up with this paradox wrote down "unsmitable", looked at it, looked at it some more, decided it wasn't a real word and changed it to "unliftable".

 

No. He did it just to prove that he's got style, and that bragging isn't for him.

 

Lifting < Smiting

 

Someone must tell me why everybody is talking about Chuck Norris ,like if he's kinda a god or something..

 

If you bribe me I won't report you as one of the unfaithful.

 

*Looing in my wallet* , nope not a coin , but sure i like him to , but.......WHY DOES EVERYBODY TALKING SO MUCH ABOUT HIM???

 

Is it not right to praise the High One? I'm praised as the High One by several animistic tribes in Northern Canada, and I feel that's right, why isn't it right for other High Ones to receive praise?

 

Sure , you have teached me to faith in the big Chuck Norris

 

your mockery of the Holy of Holies is so pathetic you don't even deserve Chuck Norris' boot in your ass.

 

Have i in anyway said that i don't like Chuck Norris?

 

Chuck Norris can see the truth written in your heart. His Holy Spirit moves within me, and informs me that you are not, in fact, a brother.

 

I am one of the faithful

 

It's right there in his post. I say we call upon an "Acolyte of Chuck*" to lay the smack down on Van Stran. Who is up to the challenge?
I am but a Cinderblock-kicker in the Pantheon of Chuck.
*a person who, while very powerful in their own right, pales in comparison to Chuck Norris**. I say we would need to call upon an Acolyte because of Mr. Norris's busy schedule.
**For example, if Chuck Norris was a diety in the realm of D&D, he would have somewhere around 160 character levels (in Chuck Norris), as well as about 50 divine ranks.

 

*gasp* You edited your post to make it look like you were a faithful! Luckily Gross got the real thing quoted first though!