The Chuck Norris paradox

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Frigo, Jul 7, 2006.

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  1. Frigo

    Frigo New Member

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  2. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    It's easy. Chuck Norris would win, albeit with most of the world and civilization destroyed in the process. However, being the man we all know him to be, Chuck Norris would simply will those parts back into their full splendor, and it would be so.
    And, you know what? He would never challenge himself to a fight. He'd win simply by not participating. You can't lose something you never do.
     
  3. Maximus

    Maximus New Member

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    If you have to resort to violence, you've already lost. Therefore, Norris would not fight Norris.

    Of course, if they teamed up then this might happen....
     
  4. rEt.aR.d

    rEt.aR.d New Member

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    Geez you guys still going on with the Chuck Norris jokes? Luckily they have died here. :lol:
     
  5. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    Excuse me, but if there all suddenly was two Chuck Norris in our plane of existance at the same time, the very foundations of the universe would disintegrate because of the ultimate level of awesomeness.
    That fight can't take place, because there can only be one Chuck Norris at a time. The universe can't handle more than that.
     
  6. Ogatai

    Ogatai New Member

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    If Chuck Norris then went and fought a thouroghly ressurrected Bruce again, this time with his other self. Would Chuck Norris be able to win this time? Only his Ab-master knows
     
  7. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    When Chuck fought Bruce, they had to drug him with 14 times the deadly dose of morphine for an elephant, to make it look as if the fight was even.
    The credits list in the end of all his films are in fact losses and causulties (bad spelling, I think).
     
  8. Ogatai

    Ogatai New Member

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    Thats just what they want you to think!
     
  9. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    Then Charles Bronson walked in and shot them both, problem solved.
     
  10. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    Impossible. The laws of physics doesn't allow Chuck Norris to be killed by any other man than Chuck Norris himself, and since that's impossible, he can't die. Case closed.(^^)
     
  11. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    You under estimate Bronson's power.
     
  12. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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  13. mathboy

    mathboy New Member

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    You did, but then you said "(^^)" which makes you untrustworthy.
     
  14. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    I think that was more of an "I know I'm right" smirk, rather than a "Tee hee" smirk.
    Whatever the case, if there was ever a situation in which Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris fought, Bronson could win if Norris was blind and quadropalegic, and if Bronson happened to have a gun. Norris would win if he sneezed or farted. Either of the latter would involve everything within the viscinity of 100 square miles being immolated and turned into paradise by the grace of Chuck.
     
  15. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    So what are the betting odds on Bronson then?
     
  16. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    A bet on Bronson, if we wins, is...hmmm.
    Alright, Chuck blind in both eyes, no use of any limbs...I'd say Bronson's got a 1000 in 1. (you know, for all the things that may make Chuck fart or sneeze)
    Otherwise, if Bronson won, and Chuck was at his peak (which is always), a bet of 1 American dollar would net a win that could never be payed. Basically, you'd be so rich that you'd own everything by default.
     
  17. Wolfsbane

    Wolfsbane Well-Known Member

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    Or, the universe would implode because of the sudden loss of awesomenes that comes with the loss of Chuck. The fabric of the universe couldn't possibly handle that.
    The universe would get depressed and kill itself. Instantly.

    (Whow. Imagine a EMO universe.)
     
  18. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    I haved imagined an EMO universe, it's called Warped Tour.
     
  19. Vorak

    Vorak Administrator Staff Member

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    I think if I got Bronson and Christopher Walken to get him from behind whilst Chuck was fighting Mr T it could be possible.
     
  20. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Don't know about that, Chuck's a tough mother-fucker. We almost fought once, but then we decided to go have a beer and talk out or differences, rather than risk the destruction of all civilization.
     
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