Smuel's good morning extravaganza

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Smuel, May 3, 2012.

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  1. Ruda

    Ruda Active Member

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    Argh!
    Genghis Khan wasn't involved in the attempted invasion of Japan - he'd been dead for almost half a century by then.
    The stupid nether realm makes my head hurt.

    Good hiccup.
     
  2. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    That's just what Big Hiccup wants you to believe.

    Good morning.
     
  3. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    You know how sometimes, when you are putting your hand in your pocket to get your keys, and for a brief moment you think your keys are gone, and then you put your hand further into the pocket and find the keys there as you expected, and then feel kind of dumb for momentarily panicking that you had lost your keys?

    Annoying, isn't it!

    Good morning.
     
  4. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I know the feeling (and apparently the forum doesn't allow for strike-through anymore).

    Anyway, here's what I've been thinking about for the past few days:

    Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
    He had himself young girls,
    He had them all behind closed doors,
    So they'd never say a word.

    But then I can't think of any other verses fitting the Grand Old Duke of York. Some innuendo about him being "up", but then all I can think of is words along the lines of being held down, and it's crosses the line of being too dark and seedy to be properly funny. Maybe I'm losing my touch...

    Also, Good Morning.
     
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  5. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    When his dick was in, it was in.
    And when it was out it was out.
    And when it was moving in and out,
    He would come with a great shout.

    Yeah, I see what you mean. It's not really clever political humour like the first verse, it's just smut. I'm disappointed in you, Jo.

    Good morning.
     
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  6. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    I'm disappointed with myself as well. I thought I would make some slight tweaks to your second verse, thereby I can claim it was all truly my own and keep the many millions of pounds of royalties that are sure to come through. The final version:

    The Grand Old Duke of York (likes to Pork)

    Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
    He had himself young girls.
    He had them all behind closed doors,
    So they'd never say a word.


    When he was in, he was in.
    And when he was out, he was out.
    And sometimes when he was sliding in,
    He came with a great shout.

    Good Morning!
     
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  7. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Nice. Now let's do Trump.

    Trumpty-dumpty sat on a wall,
    Trumpty-dumpty had a great fall.
    All the Republican Senator men
    Made it so Trumpty bounced back up again.

    Good morning.
     
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  8. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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  9. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    V... Viet... nam?

    I feel like this is a trap.

    And not the sexy t-girl kind.

    Good morning.
     
  10. Zanza

    Zanza Well-Known Member

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    Any games on the horizon anyone is waiting for?
     
  11. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    Looking forward to Kerbal Space Program 2.

    Also DOOM Eternal, though I'll probably wait for the price to come down.

    And BG3 of course. First gameplay reveal will be at PAX East tomorrow, so we'll see how it looks.
     
  12. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines 2, obviously! Otherwise I'm looking forward to seeing what the Outer Worlds DLC has to offer. I got midway through my second playthrough with the Board, but got bored and might start a little Skyrim, but I think DLC could breathe in more life.

    Good morning.
     
  13. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Sadly my gaming is basically on hold due to work overload, so I don't know what's coming up.

    Also, I'm still mourning the demise of Fractured Space.

    Good morning.
     
  14. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Do you ever see an unattractive parent with their children, and realise that in order to become a parent they must have had sex, most likely several times, and you wonder how a person who looks like that could even begin to find someone who would want to have intercourse with them, since they just look so... strange, and yet someone not only met that person and wanted to sleep with them, they decided to shackle themselves together with offspring on a permanent basis, and now they wake up every morning next to that person and you wonder how they live with it?

    That's what hot people feel when they see you.

    Good morning.
     
  15. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Do you ever get stuck walking behind someone in a public place, and they are sooo slow, and there isn't even any reason for them to be slow, they're not elderly, and not carrying anything heavy, it just seems that they aren't properly applying their muscles to the act of moving, like they're the kind of person that when they get to a moving walkway they simply stop altogether and just stand on it, even though this is an opportunity to get to where they are going TWICE AS FAST, but it's like - they value not-exerting-themselves over saving their own time, and you could probably actually squeeze past them if they just moved to one side a little, since there's enough room for two people to fit side by side, but they're squarely in the middle of the space because they're oblivious to their surroundings and it doesn't even register in their mind that other people exist and may be walking faster than them, and you wonder how someone like that is even breathing since breathing involves muscle usage and if it also required conscious thought then they probably just wouldn't bother?

    That's how I feel when I'm walking behind you.

    Good morning.
     
  16. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    Do you ever see someone who you would otherwise like, but they have that eye! Yes, that is it! The eye of an old vulture - a pale blue, with a film over it. An eye that whenever it falls on you, it makes your blood run cold, and so - by degrees - you make up your mind to kill them and stuff their heart beneath some floorboards.

    That's how people feel when you look at them.

    Fucking literary, y'all. Good Morning.
     
  17. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Do you ever read a post on the internet by some smug asshole where he, and it's invariably a he, tears into a perceived imperfection in other people, and the way he's written it is like he's holding up a mirror directly to you, even though he doesn't appear to be necessarily addressing you specifically, but still, the words bite into your very soul, and you wonder whether you are a sub standard human being, or it's just a coincidence, but either way that small voice in the back of your mind is telling you that you are inadequate, that you won't ever amount to anything, that your life is flipped, you're turned upside down, and you'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air.

    Good morning.
     
  18. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    So in other news... I'm moving to Korea tomorrow.

    Also,

    You know that feeling you get when you see Smuel's mom eating a tuna sandwich, but then you realize that there's no tuna on it, just mayonnaise and pickle relish? I'm pretty sure that's how people feel when they come here looking for advice on beating the thugs guarding the bridge from Shrouded Hills, and they stumble into this thread.

    Good day
     
  19. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Like, for work? Or because that pork-chop-loving future Mrs Japes is now a present day Mrs Japes and also turns out to be Korean? Geez, it's the kind of thing she could have mentioned before you popped the question. Some people, eh...

    Good morning.
     
  20. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    Going for work. Cinnabon is transferring me and the fam.
     
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