Okay, we all know everyone in the forum is going to hell.

But how deep into hell are YOU going?

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

Apparently I'm headed to the fourth level. I get to roll boulders.

What about you guys?

 

They've temporarily taken down the test, so their servers don't crash.

 

apparently only a set number of people can take it at a time, just try back every so often, or late at night.

 

Sixth level, because I'm a heretic they say. Seems I get to make "doleful sighs" for eternity, but otherwise it seems like a perfectly agreeable place to be sent, all things considered.

EDIT: Read on another site that I'll be confined in a burning tomb as well. As long as there's no humidity, that's fine.

 

I went to the second level. They say I am Gluttonous, odd, but I am not one to question a website. Anyway, doesnt seem too bad. I hate bright light. I could easily get used to this darkness. How bad can the wind be?

 

*raises an eyebrow* That test doesn't like me.


"Seventh Level of Hell

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Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level."

It doesn't like me because I'm a twisted tyrinical sadist, it seems. I don't like the idea of sharining my river with suicides, though...

 

You are wrong! Not everyone is going to hell! I escaped damnation and had my sins washed away!

Purgatory
You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

He he!

 

For some reason I have the feeling you didn't answer the survey honestly, but rather tried to give the "virtuous Christian" responses to the best of your ability.

Go work on your mod. Industriousness is a virtue dontchaknow.

 

Well, your feeling was wrong, because I answered every question honestly.

 

Just as I suspected, I am a Heretic. Level 6 - oh, yeah

 

Yesyesyes, you've never been deceitful or had an impure thought in your life. You keep your own council and that of God and don't care what others think of you. You've never tried to get anyone's hopes up falsely (how's the mod going, btw), or lusted after your neighbor's livestock.

Ah well. Just wait till puberty.

Doesn't it stink? If you're a heretic it seems you get level 6 no matter what else you do. No variety! On the other hand, sure beats some of the other circles.

 

Level two isnt so bad. Though I dont see how I am a Glutton? I guess it was saying that I really do enjoy food. Wouldnt think it looking at me though. Well I hope you enjoy purgatory.

 

It is of my opinion that this test tells nothing. We are not all bad people. I am a very good person and I got sent to Level 3 of hell. This thread should be sent to the Vault of Folly..Jinxed??

 

Fifth Level of Hell

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The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.


interesting... i'm surrounded by nude people tearing at each other... and i'm not cruel and vindictive. i'm just a little gloomy. i'm always doing nice things for most people i know... interesting... at least there's fishing.

 

Level 8. :evil:

 

Meow

Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan

Redmond, WA - Microsoft in a recent all cash deal has purchased evil from Satan for $2.7 billion. "We've been after Satan for some time," said CEO Steve Ballmer. "Negotiations were tough but I think both Microsoft and the Prince of Darkness are happy with this deal."
Before the purchase, Microsoft already had 15% of the evil market, now that number is closer to 100%. The Department of Justice has voiced concerns over one corporation controlling so much evil, and has begun investigations into the deal.

"We feel that there are real opportunities with evil, and that when evil is integrated it into our next generation of Windows products consumers will appreciate evil on their desktop," said Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. "Businesses haven't been able to fully realize their evil potential. With evil integrated into Office 2001, corporations big and small will begin to see enhanced evil productivity."

"Evil is a real growing market," market strategist Frank Dresgan of Merrill Lynch said today. "Microsoft is a little late in the game, but even when they enter a market late they still tend to dominate. I think we'll see the same with evil."

"I've been dealing with Microsoft for some time," Lucifer said. "I've been at this evil thing for millions of years, and wanted a way out. I considered an IPO, but then Steve-O and Billy came along and told me about their "Evil Everywhere" plan and that was an offer I couldn't refuse."

Evil was founded by Satan close to the beginning of time. It has been growing steadily ever since, although most of the growth has come in the past five years with the development of the internet. Satan plans to retire to a small island in the Bahamas and write a column for the local newpaper.

 

2nd Level, for being Lustful and Gluttonous.

Purgatory Repenting Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Moderate
Level 2 Lustful High
Level 3 Gluttonous High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Low
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Low
Level 7 Violent High
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Low

I'd like to note a few questions though, which I thought were either unfair, unclear, or incomplete, which, if I'd answered differently, may have influenced my results one way or the other.

Do you own or plan to own a flashy sports car or an SUV? I assumed my Jeep Wrangler counts as an SUV, as it is kind of Flashy and convertible. However, it's also WAY COOLER than most SUVs, and has been around longer.

Have you been in any physical fights in recent years? I answered no, because I haven't been in FIGHTS... I throw inanimate objects when I'm angry, and I'm very good about choosing non-breakables. BUt damnit, I'm Italian, I have a fucking temper, you know?

Do you believe in astrology, tarot cards, and fortune-telling? -- I said yes... I find them interesting. Do I think they're anymore spot on than religion? Not really.

Do you believe in God? I have no doubts in my mind that there is a God. That doesn't mean I like him.

Have you stolen anything from an employer or friend? -- DOes this include ink pens? If so I should have said yes. I didn't think ink pens counted.

Do you intentionally cause harm to others, or to animals? -- Technically, a mosquito is an animal. So should i have said yes?

Do you think science and logic represent the pinnacle of human understanding? -- Ummm... What? Human understanding has not reach a pinnacle, IMHO. At least, I hope not!

Do you use God's name in vain (ex. "God damn it," "Oh my God")? -- Sweet Fucking Christ is just as bad, or not so bad? Not that I don't say Goddamnit, I do, I answered yes, I'm just curious what you guys think.

Have you ever attempted suicide? -- I assumed this didn't include bullshit antics of twelve-year-olds. Every girl I knew when I was that age "hurt themselves" somehow. None of it ever lasted more than a week. None of us have physical scars or anything.

Do you believe it is your right to indulge yourself with every last dollar you earn? -- what the hell does this mean? Do I think if I work hard and make good money I should be allowed to spend it? Hell yes. Or does it mean I don't think I should have to pay my bills first? I don't understand this question.

Have you ever visited or called a psychic? -- No, but I've had dreams that came true. What does that say?

Do you believe in an afterlife? -- I left this one blank. Having never died, I don't KNOW one way or the other. So I don't believe one way or the other. Should I have said No? Because it's not that I firmly believe there is NO afterlife. It's just that I don't know.

Do you eat at restaurants several times a week? -- Does Subway count as a restaurant? How about eating in the Community College dining area (local fast food restaurants cater weekly) between classes?

Would you sooner go without sex than go without good-tasting food? -- This one took me a while to unravel. Couldnt' they have just said, "Would you rather have food than sex? " I think they were TRYING to confuse me.

Have you ever been sexually intimate with a member of your same sex? -- I said no, I'm assuming kissing is not "sexual" enough.

Are you overweight? -- By definition of the American Health Association (or whoever put this shit out) I'm like 8 pounds overweight. So I said yes. But I'm healthier than most people I know, I just happen to have ... well... curves. See earlier comment about being part Italian.

Think about some of the sinful or wrong things you've done in the past. Do you foresee yourself continuing to do these things? -- Seriously. What the fuck does this mean. Things I think are wrong, or things "good Christians" think are wrong? Since they use Sinful, I guess I should have said yes, cause it's not like I'm going to stop "sinning".

So help me out here folks... I obviously could have scored way differently if I'd better understood the test. Is there a study group I can join?

 

Only three, sigh.

Convertible. No, not red. Can't drive like I do & drive a red ragtop. Motorcycles should count for something too.

Persephone, belief requires faith. I prefer to belive in god. The whole univerise is just too grand & wonderful to have arisen by accident. As I have no faith that this whole show is for just us, like you I have no faith in the afterlife. That one gave me trouble too.

Belif in Tarot cards = belief in divination. I believe they are a good window into another's state of mind in the hands of a skilful reader. Not the same thing.

Pens are theft. I said yes.

They are using the mammal centered view here, I think. If so, mosquitos don't count & niether do fish.

The science & logic one is meant for us secular humanists. While it still gets better daily, it is higher than it as ever been. Yes for pinicale is better than no, unless you dance with rattlesnakes to prove your devotion.

Do you use God's name in vain (ex. "God damn it," "Oh my God")? Is there anyone, outside of a monastary, who doesn't? Your gods are those you call on in moments of stress. Your curses, prayers & pleadings are how you call on your god. Is Bobby Goldsborugh's whine "Lord help me Jesus" (I hesitate to call it a song) any less blasphemous than your Sweet Fucking Christ?

Food or sex? Haven't these people ever heard of room service? That's why the good lord had to tell those christians to go forth & multiply. They couldn't set up a seduction to save their souls.

Remember, there are a lot of perverts out there whose worst fear is that someone, somewhere, is having fun. And they believe that it is their duty to interfere.

 

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | High
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | High
Level 3 | Very Low
Level 4 | Low
Level 5 | High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very Low
Level 7 | Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge | High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Low

Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-infe ... ation.html
Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv



SHIT!!!!! i thought i was a good guy