who needs a laugh

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mrnobodie, Dec 15, 2001.

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  1. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    I often think of myself as a closet paedophile.

    Though touching kids in a cellar is equally as good.
     
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  2. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?





    He got a little behind in his work.
     
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  3. ytzk

    ytzk Well-Known Member

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    What do they call The Hunger Games in France?

    Battle Royale with Cheese.
     
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  4. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Life is like a box of chocolates.

    It doesn't last as long for fat people.
     
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  5. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
     
  6. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    Q: What is yellow, flies against a tree, drop dead on the ground and the flies away?

    A: A Reincarnary
     
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  7. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Deez
    Deez who?
    Deez fools who thought I was gonna say 'Deez nuts'
     
  8. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    The "Man" says I'm not allowed inside a certain number of feet when it comes to children.

    Personally I think I should be allowed to use my Fantastic Voyage-style submersible however I damn well please!
     
  9. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    And because that joke was a bit clean, here's another:

    People on my street accused me of being a paedophile, but I showed them!

    Which is why I was charged with child sexual assault AND distributing indecent images.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2019
  10. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    A man went to the zoo.
    All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
     
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  11. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Some of my socks are getting quite old, and are starting to wear out.

    I think they're on their last legs.
     
  12. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    I've learned 99% of the English language.

    I'm almost their.
     
  13. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    Another Jojobobo special:

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    As my wife was nearing the end of labour, I knew it was time. I bust out my CD player, and started 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls.

    "2 Become 1?" quizzed the midwife. "Isn't birth more when one becomes two?"

    "No my dear," I replied. "I'm referring to her vagina and asshole."
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2020
  14. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    "I love me some Shittake! My wife did it last night, fucking incredible!"

    "Agreed, it is one tasty mushroom."

    "Mushroom? No, dude, it's a portmanteau..."
     
  15. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance? The meat ball.
     
  16. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    It's not fair that more sympathy is given to people with breast cancer than people with testicular cancer. I'm actually a testicular cancer survivor myself, but whenever I try to tell people how harrowing the experience was, I get told to shut up and grow a pair.

    In memory of Jojobobo, forum member May 2011 to Sep 2020.
     
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